"I rebelled for this?" Castiel pinned Dean against the damp brick of the dank and filthy alleyway, his voice menacingly cold and full of all the wrath of heaven, "So you could just give up? So you could just surrender to Michael?!?" He punched Dean's already bloodied face and threw him to the dirty ground, the steady dripping of blood and the heavy breathing of the two men was all that could be heard.
"Cas..." Dean could hardly speak due to pain and fear. He had never been as truly afraid of anything or anyone in his life, not his first demon, not Sam on a high of Demon blood, not Raphael, not even Lucifer. He spluttered and spat blood, trying to think of the words that usually came so easily.
Castiel kicked hard in Dean's ribs, Dean cried out as at least three broke.
"You have no idea what I have given up for you Dean Winchester. After Lucifer, I am the next most wanted by heaven!"
He lifted Dean by the collar, so he was limply hanging at eye level with Cas, "Good Angels don't rebel Dean. I am the exception to the normal rule!"
In a split second, Castiel's guard had slipped and Dean saw the intense pain in the Angel's eyes that hid behind the anger. Dean heard the fear that broke through the empty expressionless tone that Cas usually used, and just as fast as it fell, Castiel's wall was back up. But Dean knew what he needed to do. Something had he wanted to do for a quite a while. Something he should have done a long time ago.
"Thats not the only rule you've proven wrong." Dean's voice was soft and he could barely manage the words with all the blood he was choking on.
Castiel paused and cocked his head, his expression softening to the confused frown he wore often. When he placed Dean back on the ground, his voice was cautious as he inquired,
"What are you implying Dean?"
Dean swayed on the spot, finding it difficult to use his legs and struggled forming words into anything that made sense, even though he had already said them thousands of times in his head, trying to choose the perfect moment to tell him, of course this wasn't what he had been planning at all, but he also knew, it was a better time than never. Dean could barely think with the drilling pain and the tidal waves of muddled emotion that kept threatening to consume him and Castiel seemed to realise this, he gently placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, immediately sending warmth through the taller man and healing him.
"Dean, what did you mean?" His voice more gentle and concerned. Like it always was when he had a problem, Dean realised.
"Cas." Dean still found it hard to find words, but was encouraged by Castiel's worried tone, "I... I think.... No. No I... I know that I..." Dean wished he could just come up with a perfect, witty remark and do this a lot smoother. He stopped stumbling over the words and just looked into the bright blue eyes of the Angel. Seeing not just vessel's exterior, but into Castiel's as an Angel. And then, hesitantly, Dean took a step forward and placed his hands softly on Castiel's waist, pulling him closer, he leant down and pressed his scarred and dry lips softly against the Angel's, hopefully saying what he couldn't with words.
I'm sorry Cas. About everything...
The kiss was cut short when Castiel pulled away.
Dean looked once again into the angel's eyes, was that fear he saw in them? Anger? Shock? Even disgust? Dean wasn't sure. Before he could ask though, Castiel gave a startled blink and was gone. Dean's heart sank and he fell to his knees, wishing Cas had just left him to die.
Castiel stood in a dimly lit service station bathroom, looking in the dirty mirror for any sign of difference in his vessel's looks. There was none that he could find. He reflected upon himself, he was in no way changed or anymore exceptional. Still just the same Castiel he had always been. So why had Dean Winchester kissed him? Was he suddenly attractive to the human male? Was he now somehow more than just friends with the Winchester? Had the kiss just been a way to stop Castiel from beating him further, or did the once, self proclaimed 'Ladies Man', actually have those feelings towards Castiel? An Angel of the Lord? A male Angel of the Lord? More importantly, how did he himself feel about it? The Angel once again struggled with the emotions that he wasn't used to and couldn't quite comprehend.
