A Thousand Ways To Stay Alive

Chapter 20

"Blake, everyone's ready." I could feel Veonca staring into the back of my head. "I almost forgot, I have to bandage your hand." She nudged me. I turned to face her, not being surprised at the shock on her face. "Damn, Blake! You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"Veonca, he came to me," I spoke almost below a whisper.

She knelt down in front of me. "Sweetheart, I know you're mourning but that's taking it a little far."

I hissed when she poured the alcohol onto my cut. It started to throb as she wrapped it in gauze. "See? I told him you wouldn't believe me."

"When was this?"

"Last night in a dream," I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and ignore the pain, "and just now." I growled the rest of my statement out.

"What did he say?"

"There's a group coming this way."

"Great! We could use more people."

"No. He said they kill anyone they meet. They call themselves the-the... I can't remember but they're trouble. An-and the zombies... there's more of them. Lots more. We're not gonna make it if we stay."

Veonca set the role of gauze down. "Well, we'll bury him then get our shit together."

*******

I sat on the couch violently tapping my foot trying to occupy my mind. My eyes searched the living room. A magazine, a book, an old newspaper; anything would be nice.

"You ready?" Monesha stalked over to me. I noticed her built frame had already begun to shrink.

"Yes. No. I don't know," I looked up at her hoping she would ignore my crazy eyes.

"We're loading the van. Can't bring very much due to limited space. Zombies have yet to climb the fence," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Whatcha need?"

"Could you possibly off me since I can't do it myself?"

Monesha's face crinkled in every place. "What? Absolutely not!"

"It would save space. You could even bury me next to Tyler."

"I'm not doing that."

"Monesha, I can't live with myself."

"You can live with us. You're pregnant for Christ's sake!"

"I'll probably lose this baby to stress."

"We'll see." Monesha walked away from me to the back door.

I watched as Veonca and Kellian ran back and forth between the kitchen and the car loading it, Graciela was engaged in a game of catch with Kayla Mae and Ammo.

"Blakelen, are you alright?" Drevlen stood in front of me.

I stood up and scratched my arm nervously. Shaking my head up and down, I stepped over the rug.

The bedroom door creaked open with just a slight push of my hand. On the bed lay pillows and blankets in disarray. Dirty clothes were scattered around the floor.

I slid the closet door open being met with hangers strewn on the rod and the bottom of the closet. The few on the rod held Tyler's t-shirts.

I reached for them. Immediately, flashbacks of memories flickered in my mind. Holding myself together was difficult but I succeeded in doing so.

I tugged the suitcase from the bottom of the closet and threw it over the bed, loading it with only Tyler's clothes. I grabbed all the toiletries I could, then made my way to Kayla Mae's pile of clothes.

"Bee?" I recognized her voice before turning around.

"Kayla Mae," she ran into my arms, almost pinching the skin on my back.

"Are you okay?" She pulled out of the hug but not out of my arms.

Kayla Mae shook her curls up and down. "Where's Ty, my dad?"

I looked at the floor hoping she wouldn't notice the overpowering pain I felt at this moment. She was good about noticing these things in people. A tear fell then a small hand caught it with it's finger.

"You don hafta cry. He come back soon," Kayla Mae patted my face consoling me to the point to where I felt like Tyler was here and we were a small family plus one on the way. I searched her face. I smiled so maybe she would think I was actually okay.

I closed my eyes for exactly 6 seconds and as I failed to drown out everything around me except for her, I opened my eyes and saw Tyler standing behind her. He smiled the biggest smile. It almost forced dimples into his cheeks. Dimples he didn't have.

"We should probably get going," I stood up and grabbed Kayla Mae's hand, leading her to the backyard where the van idled.

Tyler was gone and I had to accept that. Nothing could bring him back. Any time I saw him, I had to move on with my life. I can't dwell on the past.

Kayla Mae jumped into the van and sat down bedside Graciela who was sheltering Ammo, preventing him from jumping out. KM patted the seat to the right of her.

I stuck out my finger motioning for her to wait there as I walked to the front of the van. Drevlen sat in the driver's seat with Veonca right beside her.

"Do we have everything?"

"As far as I know. Everyone in?"

I shook my head up and down.

*******

I can't sleep in a vehicle. I can think about it and watch everybody else do it but myself? No.

KM sat with her head on my shoulder though the bumping of the bus made her head bounce. I was shocked it hadn't waken her up yet.

I moved her over to Graciela's shoulder. Graciela blinked and smiled at me before drifting off into sleep.

I slipped to the cab of the van. "Where are we?"

"Just crossed the state line right into South Carolina. We're running low on fuel and need to make a stop soon." Veonca spoke, concentrated on the map in her hands. The van rattled around a curve. "There should be a gas station. About half a mile."

I watched out of the windshield at the sun already setting. It was still light enough to retrieve the gas we needed but we'd have to swipe it quick.

I only wanted to sleep. If we stopped for the night, in the van or an unknown bed, I'd be refreshed by morning to some extent.

"There it is," Veonca pointed to the deserted gas station.

Drevlen pulled up next to the gas pump. Something felt eerie about this place.