The Bad Boys Baby. {RE-WRITING}

6. It's over.

6. It's Over.

"Seriously, what is the problem?" He takes my hand in his, his touch sending electricity through it, ".. I thought we were fine."

It makes me hate myself to see him in this state. Never would I have thought that I'd have to treat him like this, never. From the start when we expressed our feelings between one another I thought everything would be okay.

Yes, our relationship is crossing a major boundary seeing that he is my brothers bestfriend.. but for the protection of his future and him, me acting like everything between us is wrong is better for the both of us. I could honestly care less about Mason's opinion, he'd be a hypocrite if he did. I'll never forget what he put me through back in junior high.

Me deciding to lie straight to his face makes me want this morning's breakfast to come up.

"It's wrong, Ethan. What we are doing is wrong. I think it's better for us to just stay away from eachother and keep our distance. It would break Mason to pieces if he finds out. He would probably kill us both." I begin to fidget with my fingers, utterly nervous.

He clenches his jaw which scares me, it always has, "You're being delusional. You threw the biggest fit when I was seen walking with Krystal which led us to say how we feel about eachother and all the sudden you want to call quits? Just the other night you couldn't keep your hands off of me so seriously, what is the issue? New guy or something?"

The tears start to form, damn hormones.

"Nope, I just don't think this is right. We have to end it and that is final," What slips out my lips next is what makes me completely hate myself, "I don't want to be with you, you.. were a mistake." I can't even look at him in his eyes anymore.

He let's out an angered chuckle, "You're lying to my fucking face! You've always been a terrible liar. But fine, we're done."

He looks me up and down, but in disappointment this time. I don't think I could ever erase the look he just gave me out of my head. Ever.

I collapse onto the floor in the janitors closet once the door closes behind him.

The tears falling are not the hormones, but their the tears of the guilt and pain that follows.

I was not lying when I told myself this news of me being pregnant would ruin my life because it already is starting to.

My heart aches, almost as if it was ripped out of me and squished like a squeeze toy.

Ethan was amazing with the couple weeks we've been together. His sweet morning and goodnight texts, following our rules to being kept secret. Just everything. So for me to just throw him away like that in his face, completely broke me.

I hate myself, and I hate this situation i'm in.

For that matter, i've made up my mind with what I want to do with it.

Before I hear the heartbeat, before I see it on the ultrasound.. I want it gone. I don't want nothing to do with it, seriously. It has turned my life into hell already and I just recently found out about it.

It'll be better that way. That way I continue living my teenage life without having a worry.

But then, I get the guilt feeling of me basically being a murderer. I'm allowing myself to be put into a situation where i'm ending the life of something so innocent.