Trust the Boy |River Phoenix|

Chapter 7- Explaining

That night when I got back, I went straight to my room. Sebastian was already there in bed. I went over and kissed him goodnight.
I was surprised when he suddenly turned around.
"Why does your breath smell of cigarettes?" After I got back, I had sat in my garden for a while and ended up going through almost a whole pack. No one in my family knew I smoked yet, except Ralph, but he didn't really care. It was after he caught me once outside the house at the age of twelve.
"No reason," I changed quickly and got into bed.
"You were smoking, weren't you?"
"No."
"Don't lie to me! You were stressed, I watched you through the window. You went through like a whole pack."
"Shut up! Mom might hear!" I whispered.
"Why though?"
"You said it yourself. Please don't be mad, I'm sorry."
"I'm not. I could never."
"That's why you're my favourite brother." I grinned at him and he giggled slightly.
"So how long are we moving for?" I changed the subject.
"Three months, you really over reacted,"he chuckled and I mentally slapped himself. Three months? That's nothing. That's basically all of summer break.
"When are we leaving?"
"Two weeks..."he trailed off and my heart shattered. Two weeks? Two weeks until I left my friends? My life? I know it's only three months, but to me, it was like forever.

When I woke up, neither mom, nor Sebastian were home. I went in the kitchen to find Ralph making breakfast.
"Where's mom and Seb?"
"Out."
"Well I can see that, but where are they?" I asked again, a little frustrated.
"A hospital appointment."
"Oh." He sat down on a chair next to the island and started eating his breakfast. "Did you make me any?"
"No, I'm too selfish anyway." I then felt bad again for what I had said the previous day.
"I'm sorry Ralph, I was overreacting, I'm happy for you."
"Wow, that means so much," he said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. I just ignored him and put on my shoes.
"Where are you going?"
"Out. Duh." I said, walking out headed to Corey's.

When I got there, he was sprawled on the sofa watching TV. I chuckled to myself and went and sat on top of him. He instantly squealed and pushed me off.
"Ow, Corey," I whined. He looked down at me and a look of relief spread over his face.
"God, Les." I brushed myself off and sat next to him.
"Anyway, I'm being serious now." His smile disappeared and he turned the TV off.
"I'm listening."
"Um, so you know how you guys found me yesterday?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't tell us what was bugging you."
"Uh, yeah, I'm moving..." I muttered the last part.
"Huh?"
"I'm moving." I gulped. Corey looked confused for a second before frowning.
"Where?"
"Oklahoma." His frown deepened and he scratched the back of his neck.
"When are you leaving?"
"Two- uh- two weeks. For three months." I know it wasn't that long, but Corey and I had never been away from each other for three days, let alone three months. I think he was more shocked than anything. "But you'll have River," I added hopefully.
"Oh Les..."he mumbled before engulfing me in a long hug. It was comforting, we didn't need to say anything. It was just a comfortable silence. "I'm gonna miss you so much."
"Me too."
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River, Corey and I were spending our last two weeks together. River had reacted similarly to Corey when he found out but him being his positive self, tried to look on the bright side. It was sweet of them and I was really looking forward to my last two weeks here. I found out we were going to keep our house, which relieved me as I couldn't dream of living anywhere further than a street from Corey. Ralph and I were still in a fight however and things weren't going too smoothly at home.

Right now, I was stood outside smoking- which I've found myself doing a lot now. I wasn't proud of it, but I sometimes just found myself doing it. I heard someone approach and prayed that it wasn't my mom. I turned around and saw Seb.
"Hey dude, what are you doing out here?"
"Taking a breath."
"Yeah, me too, mom's getting a bit intense about moving."
"You look so different when you're smoking."
"How come?"
"You look like how the boys at my school do."
"Mhm, you know Corey and River smoke too though."
"Corey smokes?"
"How clueless can you be?"
"Ridiculously apparently," he chuckled.
"True."
"Uh...Can I have one?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"You know they can kill you, like in that fire."
He hesitated slightly before saying "Yes."
"Fine then." I wasn't too happy about it, but it was his decision, and plus, his friends would've introduced him sooner or later. I handed him one I already lit and he took a deep inhale before spluttering everywhere- sending me into a heap of giggles. He just glared playfully at me and carried on.

We had been outside for about ten minutes when he asked "When did you start smoking?"
"I tried it first when I was nine, then started regularly when I was about thirteen." His eyes widened.
"How come mom never found out?"
"She was too busy with you and Ralph to focus on me."
"Sorry."
"For what?"
"For if I distracted mom from spending time with you, maybe you wouldn't be like this."
"It's fine."
"Did I ruin your life?"
"No. You made it better. If I didn't have you to talk to, I might not be here right now."
"Really?"
"Uh huh."

an: oh my gosh little 12 year old me and smoking cringe , obv seb is young and inquisitive ignore this chapter lol