Nobody makes me feel this way (CaKe)

Back at it again

Kendall's POV.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My heavy eyes feel like they are glued together and all I can hear is the beeping coming from some sort of machine. I know exactly where I'm at though, but I don't want to open my eyes and return to reality and face everything. I have to though. I open my eyes immediately seeing a stressed looking Cara. She was seated in an arm chair angled so that she was looking out the window to the city, her knuckles supporting her head underneath her chin.

"Cara." I croaked out. My voice was weaker than I expected.

She swiftly turned her head and gave me slight smile, I could tell it was forced.

"Are you feeling okay?" She questioned, making her way to my bedside.

"Alright I guess." My voice cracked.

"Here drink this." From a tiny table next to me she handed me a glass of water. I drank it but didn't feel any different. I don't know what to say at this point, so neither of us said anything. An odd silence took over the still room. The entire time Cara looked down at me with something in her eyes. Disappointment? Probably, she's disappointed that she has to put up with me and my stupid problems. Disappointed that I'm pathetic and can't come out. All these emotions were rushing too me all at once and it was overwhelming. I felt a warm tear slip my eye.

To my surprise I looked up and saw Cara tearing up, tears rolled down her cheeks smearing her makeup, a rare sight.

"Come here." I quietly speak, scooting over to create space on the small cheap mattress. Cara obliged gently laying down next to me. I rolled over so that I was facing her, lying on my side, feeling the chords hooked up to my body shift with every movement I made. Cara copied my motion and I began wiping at her tear stained face with my thumb.

"You lied to me." She whispered stopping my hand and holding it. "You lied to me way back when I found out you weren't eating, this entire time you were slowly killing yourself and you didn't bother to tell my anything. I could have helped you know." Her voice almost sounded hurt towards the end.

"I-I'm sorry." That's all I could say. Pathetic I know.

"Your sorry? Dammit Kendall don't say sorry to me, say sorry to yourself. Did you know that you could have died? You are destroying your stomach and heart. The doctor said your Heart beat was extremely below average."

"I'll stop, I promise." I half lied.

"You passed out because of how weak you were. Imagine if I wasn't there or your were alone. Kendall I love you. I'm so fucking in love with you that I can't even comprehend it. I could have lost you...." Her voice trailed off.

"I told you I'll stop." I repeated myself.

"You already told me that once before Kendall. This is just like an addiction, you can't just say your going to stop it and stop. If anything I would know." She says. "It takes a process and a lot of help. That's why your getting help."

"How exactly am I doing that?"

"You can go away to some programs that will help you, the doctors explained a bunch of choices and-"

"No." I sternly said.

"What?"

"I said no. I can't go away I have work." I stated.

"The work and stress is too much Kendall, please I'm begging you-"

"No." I snapped again. Cara's face looked almost shocked.

"Kendall I just want the best for you."

"What's best for me is not going away. I have too much work to do. Imagine what the press would say? They would think I'm going off to rehab or something." I explain.