Nevaeh

Allison Rose

It's been two years since I had the miscarriage of our adorable baby girl Allison Rose Shaffer. 6 months into the pregnancy and I fell down the steps brutality and immediately to the hospital. Blood streaming down my legs like a river. As was the tears out I my eyes. I was hoping it was me. I didn't want anything to happen to little ally. But it was indeed all her blood. The surgery was gory and horrible and I drowned my self in me and Dions tears for the longest of two years.
"You ok baby?" Dion asked coming up behind me kissing my neck. I looked away from the picture of her in my tummy and dions hands on my big beach ball kissing my belly button and looked up at him.
"Yea. I guess god had a good plan for her and she had to be sent early huh" I said depressed. He took my hand and lifted me up from the puddle of tears we left months ago.
"No sopping baby lets go dance!" He said looking cute in his black jeans and I'm too cool for you t shirt.
I stood up and smile and he grabbed my back and we walked to the door and out to the car. He open my door for me and we headed to Ty's house.
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Me, Ty, and dion and one of Ty's buddies were sitting on the couch just talking about different things. The music was loud and we were shouting over each others voices. Me and dion were arguing about who cleans the house better and he shut me up by throwing his lips to mine. We were passing around a blunt hit boxing the living room. His new bass built speakers boosted our high. The couch was vibrating and so was my feet planted to the floor. I stared up at the ceiling. I didn't want people to come over I just wanted it to be me dion and Ty and his friend. Just us four killing a couple more blunts. I didn't want anyone else in our circle. I wanted I sit here in the sound waves and watch them swirl and dance around the room while I laugh because there funny to watch around the ceiling.
Dion snapped me out of my trip and I immediately got angry. I punched him in his arm and he jumped and laughed and put his arm around me and squeezed me and passed me the blunt. I grabbed it with my pointer finger an thumb I put it up to my lips dry and suck in feeling the smoke travel through me to my lungs. I hold in for some while till Dion took his hit and then I let out when he did. And my head got more dizzy. I smiled and turned over and grabbed dions face. He stared at me and exactly how I felt. He gripped my thigh with all five of his fingers. He squeezed so hard and it made my body have shivers. I pulled his face to mine and I licked his cheek. I laughed like it was the funniest thing IV seen in years. He smiled and gripped my thigh harder and grabbed my face and kissed me once, twice, and the third time he didn't move his face away from mine. We sat there making out while they passed the blunt between the both of them. Dion gripped the bottom of my shirt and slid his hand halfway up my body. He rubbed and grabbed and clawed. Ty jumped up and ran to the door. I didn't even hear anybody knock. I pulled away from Dion smiling and he kept his arm around me. I lauded back and pulled my shirt back down. And a crowed of people ran in to the room. Four or five of them say in the living room with us on the other chairs and couches. The other six went to the kitchen to put up and be proud of the booze they brought. I stayed sitting there and finishing the blunt with Ty's friend. He kept starring down at me at my thighs. Iv heard about him before never knew his name though. I kept doing baby hits cause I was already too high. I guess he was doing the same cause the blunt was back in my hand before 5 seconds. I looked over at Ty and Dion as they headed outside with the six guys. And no longer did I feel protected. I was high an tripping just a little. Ty's friend stood up and smiled at me and held his hand out. Everyone in the living room stared at me and I took his hand. And he guided me up stairs. A couple other people followed us wen he snapped his finger and twirled around when we got to the middle of the stair case. There was a red head girl behind me slapping my thighs as I walked. I didn't mind. She was high too I could tell. We got up to the main hall way and he open the door on the right and let go of my hand. There was nothing in this room it was empty and there were red cups on the floor from I guess the last party. We all tried to sit the corners and some sat in the middle of the room and just layed back. I heard paper rustling together and I looked over at Ty's friend as he say down and pulled out about 10 hits of acid. He gave me one and gave one to the couple beside him who split it and put it on each others tongue. I watched everybody pass around to each other and saw a few rip the package and slide it onto their tongue. I watched and did the same. I let it dissolve and we all just say there looking around or starring into space like we're starring at something too interesting to focus on anything else in the world. I started to think about Dion and how he's probably down stairs getting fucked up on booze and I'm upstairs with Ty's hot friend getting fucked up on acid. I looked over at the girl that kept slapping my thighs who was now making out with some lesbian girl that was in my class when I was going to high school. My eyeshot blurry my head felt like the whole world was spinning I felt like everyone was starring at me and I got hot. I looked over at Ty's hot friend and he was laughing. He was laughing at me. I was not laughing I didn't want to laugh with him because I didn't know what was going on. I felt like everyone in the room was laughing at me. I stood up and Ty's friend pulled me back down hard to were I fell back against the wall and hurt my head I moaned a little and pushed his hands off of me his face got red and angry and he gripped my thighs and pulled my body down he moved his hands more towards in between my thigh and he touched places I didn't want him to. That wasn't for him . That was for dion. Only Dion can touch me like this. I was weak and I didn't know what to do. I slapped him. I slapped him really hard and I stood up again. I looked back making sure he wasn't going to put me back on the ground. I looked towards the door and tried to walk to it . It was going farther back it would stay in one place it kept going farther back as I got closer I finally got to it. I put my hand on the knob and twisted and open it. I looked out the hallway and the walls were bleeding every step I took it would bleed behind me. I turned around fast to catch it in the act but it would disappear like it never started. I stopped carrying and looked ahead of me I the stairs I got to the first step and looked at the millions to come. A little girl walked up the steps an stared at me and started crying she held on to my leg and cried and made me sit on the first step.
"Mommy I miss you" she spoke and looked up at me.
I didn't believe it and I patted her head and held her tight.
"Ally baby?" I said crying. I held her and she cried and she held me back tight.
"Mommy I miss you" she spoke again.
This time she looked up at me and I look eat her beautifully mixed skin and her adorable big brown eyes filled with tears.
"I miss you too baby" I said choking up crying and holding her.
She smiled and walked her rest of the way up the stairs I watched her walk away from me and she turned around and liked back at me and blew me a kiss with her small tiny hands. I smiled at her and blew her a kiss back as she walked into the bleeding wall. I looked down at the steps and stood back up. Dion was standing there i don't know why but I was so confused on why he starring at me from the bottom of the steps he was angry. Why was he so mad. I was thinking maybe Ty pissed him off or something or maybe he was coming to get me so we can leave. I started walking down the steps and it hurt really bad I wasn't even walking it felt like I was rolling. My body was throbbing. Suddenly I was at the end of the steps but I was on the ground an Dion was over me he was really worried.
I looked over at the walls that were no longer bleeding. Butterflies were flying about my face up by the ceiling and all of a sudden they died and fell to the ground. This made me really sad. I snapped out of the butterflies and the bleeding walls and ally walking up behind Dion to say hi to daddy. I snapped out of all of it and I looked into the ocean. There was water surrounding me and I saw no fishes. Nothing that had a sign of life.
It wasn't an ocean. Dion splashed a cup of water on me so I would snap out of everything I sat up and it was like my first breath ever made. Everyone was around me starring at me and no facial expressions at all.
"Are you okay?" Dion asked me and started laughing.
By then everyone was laughing at me and I wasn't. I wanted to cry I wanted to go home and sleep I didn't feel good at all and I still felt like I was tripping a little.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked getting angry. My body hurt. They were all laughing at me and I'm just sitting here Ina pile of hurt. I wonder if they did anything to me.
"You fell down the steps baby don't be mad at us. We came running as soon as we heard the thump thump thump." He said and everyone laughed harder. I stood up and went to sit on the couch and Dion came and sat beside me.
I wanted to tell him I was on acid and thy I wanted to go home but I don't if he would be mad at me for doing some other drug with out him around I protect me. So I let it go off to the sound waved of the music that was turned down a little since I " fell down the steps"
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