A Little Broken

"if i wasnt an idiot"

///SKY'S POV\\\

I was up and out of the hospital now. and I've decided to still travel with the band and Ansleigh to
Australia. I don't know why but it just seemed like I needed to. I'd be bored and lonely without them two. I don't really associate with the other band members. well, we've never really 'hung' out before. so I guess this trip will give me time to catch up with them; see what they're like, ya know.

-

oliver walked past me, carrying his bags, as I put my remaining items in my bag. I looked over to Ansleigh who had her earbuds in; probably listening to 21 Pilots or Blink 182. she was also packing the rest of her things. a pair of shoes. I felt like I had packed my entire bedroom in my suitcase.

since the incident oliver and I had in the shower, we haven't really spoken much. I mean, he's tried to make conversation but I guess I haven't
been interested too much. it was bothering me. I missed him. but he hurt me.

'it was an accident you fucking pathetic bitch' I thought. woo. way to boost my self esteem. thanks sky.

I sighed. really loud. and I threw myself on to my bed for the last time until 5 months. oliver chuckled a little. it's been a while since I seen him smile whatsoever. it was nice seeing his smile.

but I'm still furious with him. he hurt me. but he didn't do it on purpose.

Ansleigh came into my room, she looked at me and sighed. "you don't look too good," she said.

"well thanks," I say sarcastically, sitting up from my previous position.

"sky- I really do think you need to reconsider oliver," she spoke as nothing had happened.

I was shocked, "what the hell Ansleigh?"

"I know. I know, it's a lot to comprehend right now, but honestly, I know it's killing you, and it's killing him. seeing you two not how you use to be, is killing me," she said, emphasizing "me."

"you really don't understand, and I forgive you for that, but you have to get this, he hurt me, he put me in the hospital, he heard me cry out to him in pain, he seen my blood splatter from my wrists and he did nothing about it. he's taking this all too well and believe me, it's killing me, but this- this is for the best. I'm debating on whether even going on tour now. I'm scared ans. I really am, I hate being around him and things being so awkward," I say honestly.

her eyebrows knit together.
"you've really got to be fucking kidding me sky! you really think he did that on purpose!? i may not know a lot about y'all's relationship, or oliver at that, but I sure as hell know one thing, and that's that that guy standing in that room, wouldn't never fucking hurt you or put you in any danger in any way! stop being stubborn! you know you're my best friend, and that I'd kill anyone who put you in any type of danger, but oli? really sky, think about it. you're being childish. he didn't mean it, truthfully," she said raising her voice.

this all hit me so hard.

was I really being stubborn? I mean, he did hurt me. if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have ended up in the hospital.

but if I wouldn't have been an idiot and cut, I wouldn't have ended up in the hospital.....

i honestly don't know where this book is going but imma keep on with it until it sorta dies down. the chapters are gonna get better once they're on tour, I promise. but another short chapter, I know. you'll survive guys.