Not like other girls

Chapter 4

My breath quickened, Mrs. Raad waited as his iPad randomly selected new seats. I hated new seats. I made friends in large groups, I talked to crowds, I was a package deal, just with anyone. However, new seats meant sitting a lab desk with one person. One person who I might not know. How could I do that?

One person meant that anything you said only had one chance to be funny, only one chance to be relatable, you couldn't play two people against each other. It was just you and them, it was completely entrapping.

"New seats are on the board!" Mrs. Raad announced enthusiastically. I looked up, counting my breaths in and out, Julien Connor, Julien Conner four desks to the right from where I was now. Only four desks.

I stood up a little shakily and rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans as I walked over.

"Hey." I smiled, immediately faking confidence, that was like my signature move, I had it perfected.

"Obviously we were too comfortable in those seats," I smirked, "Two weeks? That's like 3 months in dog time, and we all know Mrs. Raads a bitch."

I normally don't insult people in jokes, that's a last resort joke, when you can't create anything funny enough so you just destroy someone else. But Mrs Raad was a bitch. Not only was her class impossible but she had no respect for anxiety, and openly made fun of it saying things like, "its not that you can't find the courage to present in front of the class it's that you don't have the intelligence to understand the probability of you messing up." Yep. So inspirational.

Julien laughed softly, he looked down when he did. Juliet remembered him vaguely, he was smart, she was sure of that, but he had always been quiet.

I smiled, sitting down, but inside I was a little shaken. It should've been relieving, knowing I wouldn't have to talk much, but staying silent for 50 minutes a day would probably be bad for me. I would just over analyze every movement, every interaction. When you make a million remarks a day you have more of a chance of the good outweighing the embarrassing then if you only make three. Look at me, already over thinking.

"You've all got a cheat sheet to finish and I've got tests to copy! Get to it!" Mrs. Raad announced.

Some cheat sheet, I though looking at my paper, we couldn't use it during the test, so it was just a study guide. A study guide that was worth part of our test grade.

I read the first question, it seemed too easy, I glanced sideways at Julien's paper. He hadn't written anything, his pencil was hovering shakily over his paper, his eyes squeezed shut. I was about to say something when he let go of a breath and wrote his name on the top of the sheet. 

I had been looking too long. I turned my head back a second before he looked at me, but I knew my cheeks were red. I had invaded his privacy and I knew it, whatever he had been doing wasn't supposed to be publicized.

I waited a second, jotting down my answer and moving on to the next question before asking a little more quietly than normal, "You get 500m/s for number one?"

"Yeah." He nodded, and I smiled.

"Good."

He nodded again and kept going. I sighed inwardly. 50 minutes a day. 3 remarks. My odds were low.

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I waited for her to say something again, but she stayed almost completely silent, only exchanging a couple slick remarks with the guy next to her. Julien was counting down the days till they could switch seats again, he was nearly sure anyone would be better than Juliet.

Juliet was widely known and liked but something about her left Julien with the chills. Every word she said was sleek and slippery, every joke had a calculated impact on people. She seemed to have a formula for interacting with people, and it worked, that was the creepiest bit.

Actually, he amended, the creepiest part was even though it was always effective Julien had no idea how she did it, what the result was supposed to be in her mind, just how much she had analyzed about you before making you laugh.

When the bell rang she stood up, black ankle boots lifting her an inch or two higher than normal. She looked at me for a second, and I braced myself for a parting remark, but she just smiled a little and walked off.

I was a little surprised, I watched her exit. I left the classroom and had to walk behind her for a little before passing her to go to math, she looked incredibly concentrated, that is until her friend walked up to her. I watched as her face change in under a second, it was so drastic and immediate I wondered if she had ever actually been doing anything but smiling and chatting to her friend.

I combed my memory, she had always been liked, right? I thought of her slight blush sitting next to me, a nervous blush I recognized so instantly from my own life. I thought of how fast it faded. Why would such a happy person have to be able to change emotions that fast? I furrowed my brows, the answer is they wouldn't.

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Emily watched Juliet and her equally annoying friend Adeline walk into English.

Emily glowered and Juliet noticed, something flashed behind her eyes before she shook her head and looked away. Emily laughed a little, maybe she felt remorse looking at a real feminist.

Emily remembered her and Juliet first meeting, it was 9th grade and everyone had told her Juliet took no misogynistic shit. Emily had actually been excited to meet her. Then she showed up with baby pink painted lips and a skimpy little pastel pink tank top to match.

Emily shuddered at the thought of that meeting. Juliet was a stereotypical girly girl and the downfall of feminism, pretending make up could be for herself and slutty dresses were more comfortable than jeans.

Emily knew that real feminism meant shedding the shackles of lipstick and stilettos, and she showed her true colors everyday with patchy skin and dirty converse.

She honestly did wish Juliet would open her eyes and do the same, but alas, when has the popular girl ever come through?

English ended the day, and Emily managed to catch the 2:30 bus instead of the 2:45 being so close to the door. She and Julien had made it, everyone else was stuck waiting.

She didn't know him all that well besides their daily 5 minute bus chats but she knew that he didn't know Juliet, and when an entire school is infected with her it's a blessing to meet someone who isn't.

"Hey." She smiled, sitting next to him like normal.

He looked up at her for a second, "You don't happen to know of any point during which Juliet Rogers was like, unpopular do you?"

She was a bit taken aback, their normal conversation had to do with history homework or bus sanitation. "No, I've only had the misfortune of knowing her since 9th grade though." I joked.

He furrowed his dark brows, frowning, he continued, "Is she really that bad?"

"She's a complete basic fake, she claims to like good music but I only ever see her listening to Taylor Swift, she's an awful feminist, and shes only nice to people when other people are around." I responded, remembering meeting her one on one and getting an awful, choppy, nervous lesson on the importance of choice in feminism, complete crap. In crowds however everyone fucking bowed down to her. It sucked.

It wasn't until that last remark that his expression changed at all, "People seem to really like her." He replied.

They did. Everyone knew her, had some story about her, somehow she was able to just slide into everyone's life and be just nice enough to make them like her, even though her friend group was completely undersized for her reputation. "It's weird." Emily replied, fingering her keys, "I'm confused by it every day."

"I sit next to her in science now." He replied.

Emily was confused why they were talking about her. She was fine critiquing her politics but besides that she just didn't wanna hear about her.

"That's a shame," she responded a little bit crisply, "although you seem interested in her too."

He looked at her, holding eye contact for a second, before dropping her gaze. "Eh." He said.

Emily stiffened. So everyone was interested in Juliet. For once, she thought, she'd like to get some of that attention.