THE BILLIONAIRE'S SURROGATE [RADISH]

Chapter Eight

"Ms. Valdez, you are shaking."

I look at the doctor and glare at her. How the hell does she not want me to shake? I am laying on the bed with my legs open and held up by some steel sticks in front of me with Colton next to me! I only have one of those blue hospital robes on and feel completely exposed. I could keep him out all those other appointments but I know I can't keep him out of this one. I know how especial this is supposed to be for him and I am screwing it up. It's his fault. He should have hired someone capable of doing this. Maybe I'm not. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I shouldn't do this.

"Emily?" Colton asks next to me, giving me a worried look. It seems like he is no longer angry but frustrated with me now. I can sense that he's tense. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a napkin and cleans my forehead, I didn't even realize I was sweating. "Are you alright?"

I stare into his blue eyes wondering if he'll actually sue me if I don't go through with this. Everything is set. The doctor already went through with the procedure and I don't even remember what she said. I just know there's a needle with a camera and the sperm and there's a TV where we're going to watch everything. I mean it would be fascinating to watch if I wasn't the one on the bed. I wonder if this would be easier if Colton and I just had sex. The thought makes my face grow hot. Why am I even thinking about this? He would never have sex with a girl like me. Not that I would want to.

Have.

Sex.

With.

Him.

Why am I even thinking about this?

"Emily." He says more impatiently now.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, my mouth dry. "I'm a little nervous." I say after a moment. "Can I have some water?"

"Of course." Colton says as he reaches for the water bottle I had gotten in the waiting room.

"I can do it." I say a little embarrassed when he tries to place it on my lips.

"Right." He says looking a little embarrassed himself. He unties his tie and takes off his coat. He's starting to look a little stressed. I feel bad about making him feel this way but I can't help it. I am not used to just showing my body to anyone, even if it's the doctor. How ironic is it that the future nurse can't go through with this procedure? I mean it's one thing to do it to someone and a whole other thing to be the one on the bed.

"It's totally normal to be nervous." The doctor suddenly says. She seems young, early thirties. "Just take your time and we'll begin when you're ready." She says with a smile.

"I am sorry." I apologize to Colton.

"You don't have to apologize. I can imagine this not being easy." He says calmly.

"It's just weird." I say with a nervous laugh.

He half smiles. "I am not going to look at you. I'll be looking at the screen." He promises.

"It's just the thought of a needle going inside me..."

He surprises me by reaching for my hand. I can tell he hesitates but he gives me a reassuring nod. "You can close your eyes. I'll be right here."

I lay my head back on the bed and take a deep breath as I stare at the ceiling. I can do this. I have to do this, it's not like I have a choice. I already sent my mom the first check and I don't have that kind of money to pay him back. This is my payment. I have to do it.

It'll only take a few seconds, Emily, and then you can home and cry.

I don't know how much time passes but I close my eyes and I nod, squeezing his hand. "Okay."

I don't open my eyes. I feel a slight discomfort down there and I think it's going away but it doesn't. It doesn't hurt or anything, it's just there. I can hear the doctor murmuring something to Colton but I force myself to not listen. This is Colton's moment or whatever. I mean it is his baby. It is my job to make sure he enjoys this moment so I don't say a word.
I begin counting and singing in my head-anything to make the time pass faster.

It seems hours before I feel my legs being released. I feel a relief when I open my eyes and realize that it's over.

"Is that it?" I ask Colton, releasing his hand. I didn't realize I was squeezing. "Sorry." I say when he flexes it.

He smiles, showing off his white teeth. He really does have a nice smile. "It's alright."

"You should take it easy for the next few days," the doctor say as I sit up on the bed feeling, in fact, a little dizzy. "We will take the pregnancy test two weeks from today. Everything went perfectly so it should be fine but keep in mind that it is normal for it not to work the first time so don't be alarmed if you don't get pregnant."

"Thank you." Colton says shaking her hand.

"My pleasure." She looks at me. "You should lay down for a few minutes and remember to take it easy. See you both in two weeks." She says before walking out the door.

"Thank you, Emily. I know it wasn't easy for you." He says, unable to hide his smile.

Wow. He is actually happy.

I stare at him like an idiot for a moment and then shake my head and try to smile. "It wasn't." I admit. "But you seem happy so I guess it was worth for something."

He smiles, then looks away embarrassed. "It was just very fascinating to watch." He looks at me. "People find out they're pregnant and don't really think about the amazing science behind it, you know?"

I nod. "I do. That's kind of why I want to become a labor and delivery nurse."

He raises his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah. I've always been fascinated with the way babies are made." I shrug. "I guess I'll get to feel it now too." I laugh. "I can tell why it might be hard to believe it though, I keep acting like such a baby."

"So you're not going to freak out on me?" he asks with an amused look on his blue eyes.

I laugh, embarrassed. "Oh, I freak out about this every five minutes in my head." I admit.

"I can imagine." He jokes.

He looks so weird smiling and cracking jokes. It makes me wonder if this was how he was before he got left at the altar. I can imagine why going through something like that would make you want to become a more serious and intimidating person.

"How's your father?"

"He's good," I say a little surprised by the question. "He was able to get the valve transplant that he needed so he's doing so much better now."

"It must be hard being away from your family."

I try to sit up and he rushes to help me by putting the pillows behind my back. "Thanks and yeah. I've always been close to my family."

He suppresses a laugh. "How ironic. My family lives fifteen minutes away from me and I never go see them."

"Why not?" I ask slowly, not wanting to push too far.

"To be honest?" he looks at me. "I don't know. My mom is always asking me all these questions I am not interested in answering and my brothers are always as busy as me. The only one I keep in touch with is my sister." He half smiles.

"Does she know that you're having a baby? Does your family?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"They'll ask too many questions?" I guess.

He smiles at me. "Exactly."

"Well you can't really hide a baby, Colton."

"I'll have to do it eventually," he says frowning, like he's barely thinking about this. How does he decide to have a baby, to becoming a single father, all by himself? Without asking his family? I guess I kind of understand him, although we both have different reasons for doing the things we do. He's doing it for himself, I am doing it for my family. Nothing means less than the other and both come with consequences.

"I'll figure it out." He says mostly talking to himself.

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