Saying Yes Has Always Been Easy // Phan

Part 4

It wasn't until later, when the conversation had sunk in, that Dan realised what had really happened.  Maybe he needed the time just as much as Phil to think about what had happened.  Because now all the feelings that he had kept hidden from Phil for so long were out in the open.  And even more than that, Dan finally understood what Phil had been thinking, and he had been so wrong.

As it was what normally happened when the feelings got to be a bit much, Dan began to write.  He couldn't work on any of his stuff for the book, as that had all been left in the kitchen during his exit, but maybe that was a good thing.  He hadn't worked on anything new in such a long time, and this was the perfect opportunity.

He decided the best thing to write about would be the two suns.  Because from what he learned today that was how the person he thought of as light, thought of him.  So they were both light.  They were both lights that felt incredibly covered in darkness. 

if light is meant to be

so bright

and

what to strive for,

why is it that

the brighter the light is,

the darker everything

seems.

Writing helped for a while, or at least it helped to pass the time.  It was evening by the time that Dan realised how late it had gotten and how much he really needed to eat something.  So he gathered up his papers and his laptop and wandered out into the lounge.

"Hey," Phil said as soon as Dan walked in.  He was sketching on the sofa, which was really the only other type of art form he ever did besides painting.  "I was just thinking about ordering pizza, do you want some?"

"This is why we're friends," Dan said as he sat down in his sofa crease beside Phil on the sofa, "I came out here because I was really hungry, pizza sounds great," He smiled at Phil, trying to ignore how the air still felt much thicker with tension than normal.

"Do you just want the usual?" Phil smiled back, "I'll order."

"That sounds perfect." Dan agreed, and it really did.

Dan liked the moments like this with Phil the best.  When Phil was ordering pizza for the both of them because he already knew what was Dan's favourite without even having to double check.  It was that type of easy comfort from knowing each other so well that Dan thought would be so easily transferable to a relationship.  Dan already trusted Phil with his everything, there would just be a bit more closeness.  It wouldn't be all that different, really.  All he needed was for Phil to see that too.

because you are home.

and that's not scary

at all.

The pizza came soon after Phil ordered it and they decided to put on a movie while they ate.  They had both had enough of their respective art for the day and were ready to relax with their friend, because that was really the most important part of all of this.

The movie was one that they had had watched countless times together, so Dan didn't really pay attention to it.  Instead he concentrated on how amazing the pizza tasted, and then when that was over, he thought about how much he wanted to be cuddling Phil.  He thought about that second part that he eventually just did it.

"Dan..." Phil said questionly when Dan abruptly scooted over from his side of the couch, far past the distance that they normally kept between them just to be safe, until he was practically sitting in Phil's lap.  "What are you doing?"