40 Things That Nick Wilde Has Vowed To Never Do

40 Things

Okay, so PE class ended far too quickly for me and now I'm bored. Might as well make something out of it.

I, Nicholas P. Wilde, resident of Zootopia for twenty years, lieutenant of the Zootopia Police Department and Partner to Lieutenant Judy Hopps, Vow to never engage in the following activities:

#1: Using my tranquilizer gun on myself to catch up on some sleep.

#2: Using my tranquilizer gun on Clawhauser when he won't shut up about Gazelle.

#3: Tripping Judy again.

#4: Hustling Chief Bogo into switching Office spaces with me.

#5: Trying to tickle Judy's gigantic feet.

#6: Raiding Bunny Burrows of their delicious blueberries.

#7: And/Or hustling the bunny farmers that grew them.

#8: Wearing a robot costume to work and calling myself Robocop.

#9: Flirting With the new vixen receptionist just to make Judy jealous.

#10: Getting jealous when Judy flirts with her new rabbit neighbor. Even though the guy is a complete dirt bag.

#11: Arresting said neighbor for no apparent reason.

#12: Playing the Mission Impossible theme song on full blast on my whenever Judy and I are out on missions.

#13: Or the Law and Order theme.

#14: Or the CSI theme.

#15: Or the Jurassic Park, Back to the Future and Star Wars themes.

#16: Gawking at Judy's butt when I'm sure she's not looking.

#17: Or giving it a hard slap before yelling "Go get 'em Tiger!"

#18: Eating all of the food from Judy's fridge and claim that I'm getting ready for winter.

#19: Tricking Judy into signing up for the naturalist club.

#20: Or stripping naked in front of her and say that I signed up.

#21: Selling Mr. Big another Skunk Butt Rug. (Like seriously, no.)

#22: Mimicking Flash's speech pattern just piss off a lot of people.

#23: Trick Clawhauser into believing that he ate Judy in his sleep.

#24: Or replacing all of his donuts with lettuce.

#25: Stalking Judy's FurGram feed.

#26: Singing "What does the fox say?" from the top of my lungs.

#27: Bringing a bow and arrow to work and claim that I'm Robin Hood.

#28: Visiting Assistant Mayor Bellwether on a random day just so I could touch her fluffy wool.

#29: Or Standing outside of Mayor Lionheart's office door and sing the intro of the Lion King.

#30: Howling from the top of the roof of the precinct and ultimately starting up a howl.

#31: Becoming a meme.

#32: Prank calling Chief Bogo in the middle of the night.

#33: Making Judy wear a blue dress and making her sing 'Let it Go' in the middle of Tundra Town.
#34: Taking a selfie with Judy while she sleeps on my couch.

#35: Wearing fake bunny ears when meeting Judy's parents.

#36: Signing Chief Bogo's name on a dating website.

#37: Taping five more tails to my butt and then tell everyone that I'm a Pokemon.

#38: Using my police badge to scare Gideon Gray for beating up Judy when they were kids.

#39: Performing a cavity check.

#40: And lastly, Adopting a fake British accent, decking out in a complete 1800s detective uniform and then call Judy 'Watson'.

Signed by Nicholas P. Wilde.