When I was little I lived with my mom and dad. My mom was always working. And my dad was always drinking. All my life I felt disconnected with people like I was never loved.
When I was about 10 my dad touched me in private areas of my body but never raped me until I was about 12.
I tried to tell my mother but of course she didn't believe me. This was the saddest thing I ever had to go through and of course no one cares.
When I was about 14 I would have nightmares all the time about the incident. I had a couple friends. But I couldn't trust not one of them to tell even a little bit of my life story.
Sometimes my mom is home. All she cares about is money.She claims she loves me but she's never home. She always talks about buying this and buying that. But luxury isn't everything. Me and my mom never had a real conversation or relationship like a mother and daughter should have. Instead she showed all her love to money, her friends and my dad. And I was just there.
One day, my dad told my mom if she let me be his "girlfriend". He would give her 2,000 dollars. And give me 200 dollars. I felt sick to my stomach, alone and insecure. My mom said yes. she put makeup on my face and gave me really tight clothes to wear for my dad. He touched me and had his "fun time" with me for a few days. He then started beating me for awhile. I then knew the love my mother and father had for me and ever since I've had a problem with commitment and love. I had serious trust issues. But most of all I was HURT.
