My Second kiss

Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

I was still standing motionless between my closed door and my bed when I heard a small tap at my window. I darted out of my room so quickly that I forgot to switch on the light for a signal. I had been dying inside for the past twenty-four hours that we hadn't spoken to each other. I closed the back door carefully and tiptoed on the cold grass until I saw Jess staring up at my window with a handful of small rocks in his hand.

"Hey," I spoke cautiously. I was suddenly not sure if he had come to make peace with me or to reprimand me some more.

Jess was startled, but he looked happy to see me. He dropped the rocks in the flowerbed and walked toward me. "I didn't think you were going to come down."

I looked up at my window then back to him again. "I'm sorry for last night," I said. "I was mad about the dumb party and... "

Jess stepped toward me and placed the top of his index finger on my lips. "I didn't come here for an apology," he whispered. He was standing so close to me that I could feel his cool, minty breath on my cheeks.

"Why did you come then?" I asked when he lowered his finger from my mouth.

He didn't blink once as he stared at me with his crystal blue eyes, searching for what he wanted to say.

When he finally spoke, his words were distinct and exaggerated, "I hate seeing you with other guys. When I walked in on you and Greg, about to kiss... " He shook his head at the memory. "... I went ballistic. I overreacted. I'm sorry."

I was surprised by Jess's confession of jealousy. It was a confession I had wanted him to make for such a long time, and now that he had, I wasn't quite sure what it meant. Did it mean that he wanted to kiss me? Or was it simply an explanation for his actions and nothing else? He was still standing so close to me, and he didn't take his eyes off mine for one moment. He raised his hand up once more and ever so gently rubbed the back of his fingers along the jaw line of my face. When his fingers reached my chin, he slowly dropped his hand and stepped away from me with a sigh. "Just for the record, why were you and Greg going to kiss in front of a room full of people?"

I nearly got whip lash from Jess's new direction of conversation. I could have sworn five seconds ago that he was going to kiss me, and now he was asking about Greg? It took me a second to gather my thoughts. "I don't know. I don't think he was really going to kiss me."

Jess looked confused. "It sure looked likehe was going to kiss you from the angle that I was at."

I skimmed my fingers through my hair, and a million tiny strands fell back around my face. "No, it was just a game. He bet me a quarter that he could kiss me without touching me."

Jess looked up at the sky and rolled his eyes.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"The quarter kiss." Jess rubbed both of his hands over his face.

"The quarter kiss?" I repeated. "There's a name for it?"

"The guy bets the girl a quarter that he can kiss her without touching her-which is obviously impossible then he kisses her, and when the kiss is over, he hands her the quarter since he lost the bet. So the girl gets a quarter, and the guy gets a kiss. It's stupid."

I looked away from Jess toward the pale yellow siding on our house as the information registered in my brain. "It was a trick," I said as the events from the night before unfolded in my mind. I started breathing heavier as anger filled my lungs and then my cheeks. "He was going to take advantage of me in front of all of those people!" I began to huff, and I could feel my face getting hot.

"Don't be too mad, Gemma. Greg's not such a bad guy; he just likes attention."

"How do you know him, anyway?"

Jess hesitated. "We kind of hang out with the same crowd."

My mouth dropped open. "So Drew was right?"

"It's not like we're good friends; we just happen to be friends with the same people."

"Is he a sophomore like you?"

"No, he's a senior."

"A senior?" I was almost flattered to think that a senior in high school almost kissed me. But then I remembered the trick, and a wave of nausea passed over me. "He's two years older than you. I don't know anyone two years older than me."

"That will change when you get into high school."

"So all those people that were here last night-you know all of them too?"

Jess took a deep breath. "It's not like they're assassins. They didn't know they were going to a fake birthday party."

"But the alcohol in the punch! You knew it was there without even tasting it!" It was all coming together in my head now. "Do you go to a lot of parties with alcohol?"

"You know me, Gemma. You know that I'm home with my mom and sisters on most weekend nights. Andvwhen I'm not with them, I'm with you. I don't go out and party with those people. But I'm friends with a lot of them at school. A lot of them are on my baseball team, and some of them are in my classes. They don't all drink, but some of them do. I can't tell them how to live their lives. I just stay away from that side of them. But I know that some of them do it, especially Greg. So when I saw the punch in his hand-I just knew. He's a nice guy; he's just got some messed up priorities."

My arms were folded tightly over my chest by now, and I grunted as soon as Jess ended his speech.

"Nice? I don't think a nice guy would trick a girl into kissing him."

"You could have said no, Gem. You are partly to blame, as much as you'd like to be the victim in this situation."

I thought about that for a minute. As much as it bugged me that he would claim that I wanted to be a victim, I kind of knew it was true.

He continued, "And I was probably a bit rough with those things I said about Drew. She's living in the shadow of her brother, and it makes sense that she feels like she needs to do things that are as elaborate and as noticeable as he is. And besides, you could have said no to her too."

I relaxed my shoulders and looked up at the night sky. "I could have said no to a lot of things."

"But you didn't, so I said no for you."

And that was how it had always been with me and Jess. He was the smart one, always ready to give me advice when I did something stupid. And I was the naive one, always ready to be saved. And I had to wonder if that's all we would ever be. Why hadn't he kissed me? Why was I always making such idiotic decisions? Why would Jess want to be with someone like me? Then it occurred to me that maybe Jess's closeness, his soft touches, and his long stares had absolutely nothing to do with him wanting a relationship.

Maybe that was just his way of taking care of me.