Marcel and Me

Chapter 9

I don't want to go to school, it's too painful. What if everyone already knows? I could fake being sick. No I can't, I'm a bad actress. What do I do?!?!?! All I could do is go to school and pretend it never happened.

~One Week Laterrr*

Today, Marcel drove me to school. The whole drive there was silent. Everything is different now. The way I look at Brad. The way I look at Marcel. Even the way I dress. I no longer wore edgy clothes with spikes. I dress more preppy now. Today I wore a white tanktop with dark blue floral print shorts, light blue vans, and a large light blue bow to match. I fastened the bow to my high ponytail and grabbed my light blue Jansport backpack and head out the door. For the past week I've been avoiding Brad. It's been going good but I don't know if I can keep it up much longer...

~*~

I was crying behind the portables again. Skipping class is pretty easy now that the back portables are unoccupied. I was raped and it made me feel dirty. I always felt a chill up my spine whenever I thought about it. Just the way he looked at me, the way he smiled at me...it was sickening. I don't know how to tell anyone. Marcel is the only one that knows but i don't know if I should confide in him. He's great and all but something is telling me not to trust him.

~*~

It was time for lunch and I sat with Emma. I just didn't feel I could talk to Marcel. "Hi Stephanie! So me and the girls were thinking about skipping and going to the mall after lunch. Wanna come?"

"Nah, I'll pass."

"Aw please?!"

"Oh fine!"

"Yay!"

~*~

"How do I look? I ask Emma.

"Totes adorbz!" She says as she claps her hands together. I tryed on a strapless floral print dress with a tan belt in the middle. It would look great with my new tan ballet flats. We went shopping at a few more stores. Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, H&M, and JCPenney. I found a nude lipstick that would bring together my whole outfit. Shopping took my mind off everything.

~*~

"Hey Mom. I went to the mall with my friends after school. Sorry I didn't call you." I lied right through my teerth. I felt a strong sense of guilt but I couldn't tell her I skipped. I looked at her face as she turned around. Tears streaming down pale face.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"Your sister...your sister died." I dropped my bags of clothes and collapsed on the floor, knees on the ground.

"W-what?"

"She was coming home from Georgia to surprise us and a stray cat ran out on the street and she lost control." She started sobbing. My sister was happily married and three weeks pregnant. We haven't seen her since Christmas last year. She only comes for holidays and she was finally coming for no occasion...and she died. "I'm sorry Stephanie. I know you don't like to see me like this. I'll be in my room."

Life is precious, don't try to take it away. Don't only think about yourself but about the people who love you. Your family and friends will love you no matter what. Think about how they'd feel if you left them. By ending your life, you could end theirs.

Live life to the fullest.

_____________________________________

For all of you that self harm, please don't. Don't commit suicide or hurt yourself for others. If you ever need to talk I'm here. My kik is @tumblrqirlsunite so if you EVER want to talk please don't hesitate. I know how you feel and talking to someone actually helped me.

I hope you liked this chapter. I just really wanted to get to this point for you guys. I know it's not that long but I have alot of school work to do before school starts.

Love you guys with all my heart. ❤