Within The Shadows

Chapter 9:

I pull up behind his civic and shut off my car, get out and head to his car. He gets out and shuts his door, "fallow me" he says as he starts walking to the tree, my anxiety starts raging inside me, every single feeling starts exploding. I grab lizzys hand and pause, tears start coming uncontrollably, "I.....I cant...this is too much, too fucking much" I say as I cup my hands over my face, lizzy puts her arm around me, "you got this, be strong, do this for allison and max" she says. At first lizzy was sceptical, now shes all for it. I whipe my tears and start fallowing chris again, every step closer I feel more relaxed. It was a beautiful sight though, the ground was filled with pretty blue and purple flowers, the trees had low branches that looked as if you could sit on them. The weird thing was no birds were chirping and I saw no animals.
Its was an odd feeling of displacement, I felt as if I didnt belong here. Nothing was natural. As we went deeper into the forest chris put his hand up, "shhhh, I think its over here" he whispers as he waves us to fallow. On the ground was a dirt circle, no flowers or grass anywere near it. I could feel a weird sensation inside my body, this is defiently unusual. Chris stops, and looks at us, "This is were its burried, and other there were theres pieces of a building is were the place was at. Under this circle is a huge time warp machine, noone could shut it off or pull it out of the ground, thats why ots still here" he says as he sits down next to it. Me and lizzy sit next to each other, "this is crazy" I say as tears start to flow, I put my hand on it, "Please bring max back to me, hes my soulmate" I say. Lizzy starts rubbing my back, "it will be ok" she says, "I lost my wife" chris says, "About a year ago...she wrecked in the same spot, but the crash was worse than your fiances, her car was crumbled in half against the tree, I saw her one day walking down the road, I pulled over to talk to her and she had no idea who I was" he says touching the ground like me, "after that I started digging for answers, noone would tell me so I enrolled myself into college for hacking, I got certified and started digging myself, found alot of shit" he says. For almost an hour there was a dead silence between us, nothing was said. I stood up, "I dont want to be here anymore" I say, "ok lets go" lizzy says, "Ill stay here" chris says, "ok see you later" lizzy says.
That night I laid in bed, while smoking a cig I rubbed my plumped up belly, "Allison allison allison, your going to be so pretty" I say as I inhale my cig. I cannot sleep, im not even tired. I stand up, open my bedroom door and head to the living room, "were going to the audio show saturday" I tell lizzy thats sitting on the couch, she shakes her head, "fine" she says as she pats the couch, I sit next to her, "Im gonna see if the posted an update" I say as i pull my phone out. I type the address in, "Boom its saturday at 12pm" I say out loud, "I hope my clothes get here on time, I got some cute pregnancy outfits" I say. Im excited, its been ages since I been to one, hopefully that max looking guy is there, maybe hell remember me. Maybe max will remember me.
I lay down on the couch and start drifting off to sleep. I woke up suddenly to a loud pop noise, "what the hell" I say out loud, "Sorry I accidently spilt the coffee griunds" lizzy says giggling, "Thats one way of waking someone up" I say in a grumpy mood. I stretch, crack my back and stand up. The sun is coming up, you can see a beautiful color of yellow peering through the trees in the backyard.
   Its friday, hopefully today will be a good day. I really miss max, waking up on a friday and peering over at him was my favorite thing to do. I walk into my room and head to my bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, my stomach is growing even more. I really wish max was her to watch our daughter grow inside me. I grab my brush and start brushing my hair. I set the brush down and head to my bedroom, I walk to my dresser. As I start looking through my clothes the door bell rings, "I got it" lizzy yells. I could here the front door open, "Delivery for miss styles" some guy says, "yes my new clothes I ordered. I walk into the living room, lizzy is holding a big box, "your clothes miss" she says smiling, "Thanks" I tell her as I grab the box.
  I grab one end of the tape across the top and pull, the box opens. I ordered 4 pairs of jeans and 4 shirts, perfect fit from what it looks like. I walk into the bedroom and close my door, "Time to get dressed", I say out loud. The first outfit I put on fits perfectly, the shirt forms over my stomach and the jeans fit perfectly too. Even my butt looks good still. I put the clothes in the second drawer in my dresser, easier to get to the bigger I get. Next week I have an ultrasound and check up. In a way I am nervous about tomorow, what if things dont go as planned. What if I cant make this max guy love me? What if my pregnancy messes my plan up? What if? I keep pondering the worse. All I can do is hold onto hope, all I can do is hold onto the vary memeries that keep me going each and everyday. 
  I go to the bathroom, open my drawer and start putting my eyeliner on. I really need to go to the store to get some more starbucks. I put my eyeliner away and head to the living room, "lets go lizzy, I need more starbucks" I say in a mono toned voice. My emotions are frazzled today, "ok hun ket me get my shoes on" she says. I walk near the front door and slide my boots on over my swollen feet. I grab my keys off the hook and head out front. Looking at my matrix is hard, we built this thing together.
   On the way to the store the radio was off, she knew something was wrong, "are you ok" she asks, "no im not, im beyond unhappy, and the fact I cant keep thinking about us makes everything worse. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, all above thoughts" I tell her as I light a cig while driving, "it will be ok" she says touching my arm. I decided to go to the furthest 711 20 minutes away, im kind of sick and tired of being in the house. Lizzy looks at me, "Where are we going" she asks, "20 minute drive 711" I tell her, "ok cool" she says looking out the passenger window. As I come up to a light a baby blue slammed civic coupe pulls up next to us on my side. There window rolls down, "Lovin that matrix, arent you kendra" a dark skinned man asks, "yes I am" I say smiling, "are you going to that show tomorow" the guy asks, "yes we are" I say, "good cause I am a photographer for slammed out society, I would love your car featured" he says. The light turns green and he speeds off, you can hear the boost blow off "Tssssttt". Its so sexy when that noise happens.
  I guess thats a good thing im being featured again, but without max its kind of weird. We both do it together, we do nothing unless were both in. I pull up to the 711 with only getting my starbucks in mind, not thinking about anything I walk inside. As I go to grab a box of hazelnut starbucks the woman behind the counter gasps, "oh my god kendra" she says i look up. What a surprise, max's ex girlfriend before me works here, great. I walk up to the counter, "A pack of camel menthol crush and these" I say as I put the box of starbucks on the counter. She rings up my stuff, turns around and grabs my pack of cigs, "Are you doing ok, I heard what happen" she says faking a worried tone, "like you care" I snap, she looks at me in a nasty way, "for your info..." she starts, "save it for someone who cares bitch" I cut her off, half the people in the store gasp. I smile and swipe my card, "Good luck with your dead end job hoe, maybe next time before you fuck someone at a close knitteded family orientated place, dont cheat you wont be fired haha" I say as I grab my stuff and leave to my car. She was hired by max years ago, they dated for 6 months and she cheated on him with some new hire. The boss fired her, now she makes $5.00hr, thats what she gets.
  I open my rear door and set my stuff down, grab a hazelnut and close the door. I love the four door slammed look, its in style. I get in the driver side and sit, close my door and sip my drink, "So joanna works here" I tell her, "are you kidding me" lizzy says, "nope I was a bitch too haha" I tell her laughing, "Good she deserves it" she says, "I hate girls, there so judging and ruthless" I say as I light a cig and sip my drink. I say that because any girl I have ever met has been snobby or backstabbing.