The Unborn

Chapter 10

His blue Chevy rolled into the station house parking lot and eased gently to a stop. Ben cut the engine. He sat for a moment with his thoughts still lingering on Laura Beaumont and her philandering husband. He was unable to shake the meeting he’d had with her, from his mind. He knew how she felt. On some level he had connected with her feelings and emotions, he knew of her suffering and he sympathised with her pain. Laura had been so shattered by what Donald had done that her entire being was crushed. Ben too, knew this feeling. Another gift from Anna.

It appeared that Donald Beaumont had begun an affair with Tessa Hunt purely out of loneliness, or so Laura thought. Who knows? Maybe he was lonely, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just a man with needs that he wanted satisfied by someone other than his own wife. Perhaps that’s how it was for Anna too. She had needs that he was unable to fulfill and so she just up and found herself a new life, one he was no longer a part of.

Ever since he had phoned Anna last night and told her he would sign the divorce papers, Ben had been on a roller coaster of memories and thoughts. Everywhere he turned, he saw things that reminded him of her and their time together. His decision to grant her a divorce cut him deeply. It was the single most difficult choice he had ever had to make and it didn’t come easily. As Mike had told him, Anna had moved on and made a new life for herself. Now it was time for him to do the same. He had to admit that apart from the pain of letting go, he did feel different. Something had shifted within him and oddly enough, it didn’t feel that bad.

Perhaps the old story of loving something enough to set them free, wasn’t too far off the mark after all. He knew now that he had lost Anna for good, although the truth of it was that she was lost to him long before she had left him. Their marriage had been far from perfect. Right from the very beginning he was aware of that, but his pride wouldn’t let him walk away. Instead he took the coward’s way out and left it up to Anna to make the first move to end their long suffering relationship. He did love her, of that there was no doubt. He simply couldn’t try any harder and in essence, he gave up. It suddenly occurred to Ben that, that was possibly the very reason he had tried so hard to resist thendivorce his guilt. A better man would have swallowed his pride years ago and admitted that the marriage was over, instead of making Anna suffer until she could suffer no more.

For a long time he had thought that having a baby might have saved them, but that too wasn’t on the cards. Due to an ectopic pregnancy in her teens, Anna was unable to have children. Another thing, which stacked the odds against them. The disappointment in her eyes when she was told was devastating, and instead of comforting his wife as best he could, he pulled away, distancing himself from Anna and the problem. It was no wonder everything went to hell in a hand basket after that. The more he scrutinized his marriage, the less he could rationalise his part in its failure.

Ben rubbed his hands over his face and let out a deliberate sigh. The air rushing out of his lungs felt like a huge weight being lifted from him; out with the bad air and in with the good. His realisations were so profound that they seemed life altering. He had faced his failures, admitted to them and now he could move ahead. He had finally checked his baggage at the door. ‚Onwards and upwards,‛ Ben cheered to himself quietly, then pulled on the door handle, slipped out from behind the wheel of his car and made his way inside.

It had been a few days since he had checked in at the station house and he was pretty sure that the boss was going to have a few words to say about it too. He found his desk exactly the way he had left it and exactly the way he liked it. Neat, organised and uncluttered. His ability to work and fill out papers was hindered if his desk space was invaded or overcrowded; it amazed him how Mike managed to get anything done with the state his desk was in! Ben pulled his chair back and was about to sit down when he heard an ungodly racket coming from down the hallway, it sounded like a man yelling. He walked over to investigate when a tall man with broad shoulders and an axe to grind, came bowling down the hall at full speed, a young police constable right behind him. Three other Detectives in the room all turned and stared.