Naruto: Tale Of A Not-So-Gutsy Ninja(s)

The Start Of Team 7

Warning: Major OOC, because it wouldn't be a parody if the characters had the same, unoriginal lines as the actual series. Please Read and Review, follow, like, or whatever options are available for you to click on at the end of this chapter. Please let me know what you guys think, I strongly appreciate feedback. Without further adieu, let the crack-fic begin...

Chapter 1:

"So, team, why don't we start with introducing ourselves? You can begin with your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and goals for the future."

"Um, sensei, shouldn't you begin first since, well, you are the sensei."

Kakashi rolled his only visible eye. "Well, although I didn't ask for your unsolicited, and quite frankly, unwanted suggestion to adjusting how this preamble should begin, I suppose you raise a good point." He cleared his throat, and took a momentary pause before beginning.

"Well, my name is Kakashi."

"Kakashi? Kakashi what?" Naruto interjected, raising a brow. "You ain't got a last name? You're parents just named you Kakashi?" he added sarcastically, earning a small chuckle from both his teammates. Kakashi turned his one-eyed gaze towards him, raising a brow, although it wasn't visible.

"Well, smartass, I find it unnecessary to include that information. It's not as if you're going to be addressing me by my full name every time we engage in conversation. But, for your sake, although I don't care for your sake very much, my full name is Kakashi Paul Hatake. Does that make you more comfortable?"

"Yes, Paul, thank you." Naruto never noticed the momentary activation of the sharingan beneath Kakashi's headband. With silence ensuing Naruto's quip, the team sat awkwardly, awaiting Kakashi continuation of his introduction.

"Ah-hm," Sakura coughed. "You may continue, sensei."

"Well, now that I have formal permission from our delegated queen, continuing on. I like anything unassociated with the color orange, and dislike anything even resembling the color," he gave a momentary pause to eye the blonde's very-much orange outfit before continuing. He never noticed the way Naruto's eyes momentarily turned red before returning back to their native cerulean. "My hobbies are really none of your business, and as for my goals for the future; well, I haven't really given it much thought."

"So, all we know about you is your name?" Sakura spoke up, a look of disappointment constructing her face.

"Well, actually, that was your first test. I was trying to see on how much you could pick up about me with the minimal information I gave you. And seeing as how that's all you grasped from this exercise, I don't think I feel very safe knowing ninjas like you are going to be responsible for the wellbeing of the village."

Sakura's look of shock seemed to resonate the rest of the team's' thoughts. None of them were quite expecting that. Naruto, seeing as how he had embarrassed Sakura, turned to Kakashi with a hard look.

"As sensei, aren't you supposed to encourage your students to want to do well? Not belittle them before they're barely a ninja."

"Ah, But it's also my job as a sensei to weed out those who aren't ready to be a ninja at all," Kakashi quickly countered, giving Sakura a quick once over, before turning back to Naruto.

"Since, you like to talk, seeing as how you interjected my dialogue not once but twice now, how would you like to introduce yourself next?"

Naruto huffed, mumbling something like 'insensitive cyclops' under his breath - although one couldn't be sure - before continuing. "Well, my name is Naruto."

"Naruto what?" Kakashi said before the blonde could continue. "You were just named Naruto? You weren't given a last name?"

Naruto eyed the man. Hadn't they gone through this? What reply was he expecting from Naruto other than the one Naruto had received from him? It was just a time-wasting repetition.