Beautifully Broken (Still needs to be edited)

Chapters 1 and 2

I want to dedicate this book to all the broken and lost girls/women in the world. It will get better. Never give up with your battle.                                                                                  

Chapter 1

I just want to get away from here and get some silence, I think to myself as I’m at work stocking shelves for my boss Mr. Johnston. I have worked at City Valley Grocery since I graduated high school. When I stock shelves it gives me way too much time to think.  I am almost done with my shift when my co-worker Kate asks if I can cover the rest of her shift for her. I tell her I can’t because I have plans when in reality I just hate working here.

                    I get back to my apartment at 6pm and I open the door. Once inside I say hi to Sarah my roommate and sit down by her on the couch to tell her about my boring day at work. Before I got a chance to say a word she says “Lana how was your day?” with a very happy look on her face. I tell her it was ok and ask why she is so happy. She says “I’ve got a date with Michael. He is picking me up at 8 tonight.” I smile and tell her good luck and go to my bedroom.

                    Lately I have been so on edge and I just don’t want to deal with anyone right now. Ever since I broke up with my boyfriend Jay I have been so different. I have been in this dark place in my heart and I hate it. Jay and I broke up about 3 months ago. I finally got out of his clutches after he had abused me time and time again. I had put all of myself into him, my heart and soul and didn’t want to let him go. We were together for 2 years which feels like hardly anything at all. I hate myself for ever loving him. He tore me down so low I don’t know if I will ever be able to pick myself back up. He and I met at the local park here in Brighton Michigan. I can still remember everything from start to finish.

                    It was a very sunny and warm day in the month of July the day I met Jay. I had decided to go for a walk to the park after my mother and I got into an argument. I was walking down the trail listening to my iPod. I was so lost in the music when this guy runs into me. I fall to the ground and my iPod has a crack in it. I look up to find this attractive man staring down at me. “Let me help you up.” He says with a smile. I was so shocked at what happened. I just sit there gathering my thoughts before I answer this stranger. I say “Sure. I am sorry but I am not sure what just happened.” Then I nervously start to giggle.  He reaches his hand down to me and I hold on to it as he helps me up off the ground. “Don’t be sorry I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” He says and then he picked up my iPod off the ground and hands it to me. “Thank you” I say shyly. I start to go on my way down the trail when he stops me and says “I’m sorry but I didn’t catch your name.” I look at him with a confused look on my face. I say “Lana, my name is Lana. Why do you want my name?” He looks at me as he is grinning. “I just helped a beautiful girl off the ground why wouldn’t I want her name?” I remember at that moment how shy I was and how he made me blush. His hand was so warm and as soon as we touched my heart jumped. I didn’t respond to him. I was too shy and nervous. He says “Lana, I want to make sure you are ok. Oh and I am Jay Olden.” “Nice to meet you Mr. Olden.” I say looking him in his dark brown eyes. “Please call me Jay. Could I possibly take you to get a coffee?” I remember looking at him. Studying his features. He is tall I’m guessing six foot. Short brown hair and a tanned body. He is slim but muscular. He was wearing dark blue shorts that were just a bit loose on him and a white tank top. After a few moments I say “Sure.” “Is now a good time?” he says and I smile and I say “sure.”

                    I have got to stop thinking about him. About us, I keep telling myself as I am now lying on my bed. It’s been three months since I had to make the hardest decision in my life. I often wonder why I agreed to go get a coffee with him that day. I hate myself for that. I don’t think I will be able to heal. I feel so broken and lost, even now three months later. I get up and turn my laptop on. I decide to fill out some job applications to pass the time until I decide to go to bed. I find some assistant jobs that don’t require a college degree. I apply at all of them hoping I can get out of the job I already have. I am starting to feel sleepy when I hear a knock on the front door. That must be Sarah’s date I tell myself. I am glad she is dating. Her and I have been friends for quite some time now and really have gotten to know one another. She has never had her heart broken. She is so carefree and optimistic. I envy her at times. She doesn’t have a darkened heart like I do. She is so small and petite. Long blonde hair and green eyes, but a little on the short side. She hasn’t dated this guy before. Sarah doesn’t ever get serious with anyone. She usually goes on a few dates and then starts to date someone new.