Usually I was in bed by ten and up by five and thus was ready for one more day of my fourteenth year. Unless Grandmother had forgotten, the fifteen centavos for the baker down Progreso Street – and how l enjoyed jingling those coins in my pocket!- would be in the empty fruit jar in the cupboard. I would remember then that rolls were what Grandmother wanted because recently she had lost three molars.
For young people like my cousins and myself, she had always said that the kind called pandesal ought to be quite all right.
The bread of salt! How did it get that name?
From where did its flavor come, through what secret action of flour and yeast?
At the risk of being jostled from the counter by early buyers. I would push my way into the shop so that I might watch the men who, stripped to the waist worked their long flat wooden spades in and out of the glowing maw of the oven.
Why did the bread come nut-brown and the size of my little fist? And why did it have a pair of lips convulsed into a painful frown?
In the half light of the street and hurrying, the paper bag pressed to my chest I felt my curiosity a little gratified by the oven-fresh warmth of the bread I was proudly bringing home for breakfast.
Well l knew how Grandmother would not mind if I nibbled away at one piece; perhaps, l might even eat two, to be charged later against my share at the table. But that would be betraying a trust and so, indeed, I kept my purchase intact. To guard it from harm, I watched my steps and avoided the dark street comers.
For my reward, I had only to look in the direction of the sea wall and the fifty yards or so of riverbed beyond it, where an old Spaniard's house stood. At low tide, when the bed was dry and the rocks glinted with broken bottles, the stone fence of the Spaniard's compound set off the house as if it were a castle. Sunrise brought a wash of silver upon the roofs of the laundry and garden sheds which had been built low and close to the fence. On dull mornings the light dripped from the bamboo screen which covered the veranda and hung some four or five yards from the ground. Unless it was August when the damp, northeast monsoon had to be kept away from the rooms, three servants raised the screen promptly at six-thirty until it was completely hidden under the veranda eaves. From the sound of the pulleys, l knew it was time to set out for school.
It was in his service, as a coconut plantation overseer, that Grandfather had spent the last thirty years of his life. Grandmother had been widowed three years now. I often wondered whether I was being depended upon to spend the years ahead in the service of this great house. One day I learned that Aida, a classmate in high school, was the old Spaniard's niece. All my doubts disappeared. It was as if, before his death. Grandfather had spoken to me about her. concealing the seriousness of the matter by putting it over as a joke, if now l kept true to the virtues, she would step out of her bedroom ostensibly to say Good Morning to her uncle. Her real purpose. I knew, was to reveal thus her assent to my desire.
On quiet mornings I imagined the patter of her shoes upon the wooden veranda floor as a further sign, and I would hurry off to school, taking the route she had fixed for me past the post office, the town plaza and the church, the health center east of the plaza, and at last the school grounds. I asked myself whether I would try to walk with her and decided it would be the height of rudeness. Enough that in her blue skirt and white middy she would be half a block ahead and, from that distance, perhaps throw a glance in my direction, to bestow upon my heart a deserved and abundant blessing. I believed it was but right that, in some such way as this, her mission in my life was disguised.
Her name, I was to learn many years later, was a convenient mnemonic for the qualities to which argument might aspire. But in those days it was a living voice.
