Despondency

You know what's hard?

To hope for someone to love you back despite of loving and fighting for her alone..

You don't know what to do anymore.

You don't know what's on her mind. If there will be a chance for you to have her or this is this is the sign for you to guve up on her.

It's really hard to settle for everything when you can clearly see that she can't settle for anything on anyone... on me.

While she laughed all day, I'd cry all night.

While she regretted nothing, I looked back at everything.

While she forgot everything, I remember everything.

While she fixed other hearts, I looked at mine that was torn apart....

It was easier not to think about her most of the time, I'd stopped letting the memories in. I'd stopped talking to her in my head, pretending she could hear me. I'd stopped looking obsessively at her pictures.

A part of me wanted to forget her face, her warmth, her sweet voice, her lopsided smile, because it would be easier that way, wouldn't it?

This is for the girl I never would have thought would mean so munch to me: I am still hoping that one day you will love me the way you love him.

One day you will hold my hand so tight that you will make me feel that you would never slip away.

One day you will notice me. One day you will love me.

But for now, I know it's impossible because you can't even look at me. Do you even know that I exist?

That I'm breathing in the same galaxy as you do? But it's okay even if you don't know me I'm still hoping for the day that you'll love me.

I know it's hard to believe something unbelievable but who knows? Fate and Destiny are playful.

Maybe one day we're meant to be. Maybe Patience is needed to have real love.

Maybe timming is all this is; but if that "One day" never comes. It's okay. Atleast I became happy on a love story that lives here... on my mind.

This is the guy who keeps taking her for granted and the reason why she can't love me the way she did to you:

You never apologize for hurting her, but she apologized multiple times for being angry about it.

You never apologized for hurting her, but she apologized countless times for wanting to know the truth.

You never apologized for talking to other girls behind her back, but she apologized many times for finding it out on her own.

You never apologized for not being there for her when she needed you, but she apologized over and over for expecting you to be.

You never apologized for making her jealous of other girls, but she apologized time ang time again for letting it affect her.

You never apologized for playing her, but she apologized a bunch of times for holding a grudge with you for it.

You never apologized for breaking her heart, but she apologized endlessly for caring so much.

The point is why is she always doing the apologizing when she hasn't done anything wrong?