It will never be an easy path but one day it will be okay. You just have to believe but I didn't. Until one day I did, I don't know when it started but I started to believe and one day I did get better and away from all my troubles.
Sorry, I suck at...
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Once someone told me that I wasn't going to be perfect. That nobody was perfect. It was my father who had said that. He had died from suicide and my mother she treated my brother and I horribly. We had to walk three miles to school even if it was snowing or raining. I'm the one who takes most of the hits at home so he won't get hit. It only felt right to protect him as much as I can. She only really hates me because I look like my father and act like him.
My father's death shocked all of us. He was a great father he loved and adored his children. We should have seen it coming he was distant for at least a year before it happened. I was 12 years old when it had happened it was five days after my birthday. My mother ignored us for a few weeks before she started to take her anger out on me. My little brother Caleb hid because I made him. I didn't want us to go into foster care so I made him promise that he wouldn't tell anyone, he promised eventually. I'm 17 now and he is 12 now. I make my way out of bed and get dressed for school. It is the middle of winter right now.
Last night mom was more drunk than usual and it wasn't pretty and my body disagreed with me every time I moved so today was not going to be pleasant. I got dressed in a black veil brides t-shirt and black skinny jeans. I put on a hoodie over top of the shirt and put my combat boots on. I grabbed my bag and slung it over one shoulder and walked down the hall to my brother's room. I knocked on his door and he came out ready to walk a couple of miles we had to walk.
"Morning C-man." I said and he laughed a little because I called him his nickname that I came up with when he was 5.
"Morning Skylar," He responded knowing I hated my actual name.
"So what music do you want to listen to today?" I asked as we made it out of the driveway.
"Hmm, how about horrible kids set it off?" He asks me and I nod my head and scroll down the list on my iPod and hit play on the horrible kids song. We both sang every line and then it went onto the song baby please don't cut.
"Skyy?" Caleb asks.
"Yeah?" I respond looking down at him.
"How come we get picked on for what our parents did or do? I mean we have no choice, so why do people have to be so mean....." Caleb starts to go on a rant.
"What do you mean the kids know what happened?" I ask and Caleb looks up sharply.
"They say it on the news and they saw the bruises one day and yeah they put it together." Caleb says quietly and I bring him into my arms.
"Wel will be okay, I promise you that we will be okay no matter what okay." I say and he nods his head yes. I drop Caleb off at his school and start to walk towards the highschool. I meet up with Zero and He does my makeup to hide the bruises.
"You know Skyy you look like you are getting skinnier every day and you can see your ribs." Zero says and I look down.
"She doesn't let me eat and when she does she makes me throw it all up. I don't tell Caleb because he has seen enough he doesn't need to know all of it." I say and look up at Zero with tears in my eyes.
"Skyy how long has it been since you last ate?" Zero asks me.
"Four days why?" I ask and he looks shocked.
"Skyy you need to eat like know!" Zero yells and I look at him terrified.
"I can't Zero unless I want Caleb to be hit again then no I can not eat!" I yell back. Zero brings me into his chest holding me against him.
"Skyy your just hurting yourself why won't you go to the police?" Zero asks and I shake my head no.
"Because she is the only thing we have left that is linked to our father we can't leave her like that." I say and Zero sighs and we start walking to school again. Once we got there we got to our first class with no problems. I pulled out my writing notebook because we have writing first class.
"Mrs. Yeager please do share why you are not paying attention to this lesson?" The teacher Mrs.Watts asks me.
"Because I know all of this already, I studied this stuff back when I was in sixth grade." I say and everyone nods their heads remembering me doing that.
"Well then how about you tell the students about this form of writing." Mrs.Watts says and I shrug my shoulders. I stand up and go to the front of the classroom.
"This unit is Haikus and it is basically about conveying a clearer mental image, a distinct emotion, and a 'spiritual' insight." I say and the football players and their girlfriends the cheerleader laugh at me. Zero glares at all of them and I look at the teacher begging her to say something.
"Mark please explain to me why this is so funny?" Mrs.Watts asks and I internally groan. She just made this worse.
"Because the nerd is fucking halarious. She thinks that if she gets good grades and learns things earlier than us she will be cooler. News flash emo, you will never be cooler than us so...." Mark says and I look down at the floor feeling tears well in my eyes.
"Mark principles office now!" Mrs.Watts yells and Mark gets up and shoves me to the floor and leaves the room. I get up and go back to my seat where Zero puts his hand on my shoulder. I just keep my head down so no one can see my tear streaked face. The bell rings and Mrs.Watts asks me to stat after class for a moment. After everyone left I go to her desk.
"Yes Mrs.Watts?" I ask weakly just wanting to get out of this place.
"I think you are amazing at writing. I have another question for you though. Why do you let those kids bully you? You come to school with bruises from them hurting you right?" Mrs.Watts asks me and I yell inside my head. NO THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS IT'S MY MOTHER! But I don't say it out loud. I stay silent with my head down.
"Skylar why don't you tell someone. I don't have a class this period if you want to talk about it." She says and I let out a sob without meaning to. My shoulders shaking and I can't stop now.
"I'm sorry I'm so so sorry Mrs.Watts but I can't tell you. I'm sorry but I need to go." I say and look up. Mrs.Watts lets out a gasp and I lift my hand up to my face. I bring my hand back down to see most of the makeup on my hand.
"Shit I need to go." I say and rush out into the hallway and run for the doors of the school.
"Skylar please wait!" Mrs.Watts keeps yelling but I keep running. I don't know where I am by the time I stop and it's snowing really bad right now. I can't even see through it and it feels like sleet. My stomach growls and then a sharp pain goes through my stomach. I clutch my stomach letting out more sobs.
I'm on my knee's in the snow sobbing clutching my stomach because i'm going through such unbelieveable pain.
