Part 1

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Do you ever just wish happy endings did exist? At Least just a little light to resolve a life? Is that too much to ask for? I mean I didn't even manage to attain a completely happy beginning or middle although I definitely don't imagine I deserve a fairy tale ending but what about the people who do? The people who make the best out of this ugly little world they live in... People like my mom. Imagine packing everything you own into a little hatch back and leaving the only home you know because your parents don't approve of the little baby growing inside your belly and not even getting any help from the boy who helped put it there... Driving alone for miles and spending all the money you've ever made to buy yourself a tiny little cabin in the woods, working day in and day out at the tiny diner in town just to pay for milk, bread, and the rent. No one would blame you for being bitter but that little lady poured endless love into everything around her. Since I was a baby she taught me kindness. We would go on walks and hang up bird feeders and set up little troughs for the deer. When we hunted she would always pray over the animal so sweetly with all the respect I've ever seen and when ever we had extra she would throw it out to the wolves. She never let anyone go hungry, big, or small, or even scary. She truly cared. She cared enough to build a giant cage for the chicken coop so the wolves could come around, enough to fill our shed with blankets and hay so winter wouldn't be so harsh for them, enough that the critters would eat from her hands, enough that she made me warm soup and biscuits, enough that instead of going to bed after a long day at work she would read me all the classics. She deserved so much but instead got caught in a hunters trap... I'm sure the hunters were horrified to find her laying there but not as horrified as I was when the wolves returned home with her jacket... stained with blood... If she didn't get a happy ending I know I never will... especially not after the things I've done.

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