Everything InBetween

It's Should Have Been Us

Dear Jay,

Do you still remember me ? I'm sure you do... It's been a long time right? I did became distant to you, would you blame me if i did decide to be away from you? Besides, i no longer have the right to be near you.

Yes, I still remember those words thrown at me by someone who happened to steal you away from me. And guess what, I have finally get over with it. But, it isn't easy as you think.

Sometimes, I thought to myself - i hope i haven't known him really, i hope its just easy as it sounds, but No. I struggled for the word Acceptance. And later on, i understand.

I wan't to recall my story, our supposed story, rather sad story.

We've known each other for such a long time. But on those times, i considered myself a young teen.

I am not aware of the word affection or the feeling such as love.

Until I saw you from a far, and really admired you.

Yes, i've known you as the basketball jock of town, you also have your own name as the MVP player.

But that's all to it. I dont know you personally. I just know you play.

But I thought to myself, in the right time, and in the right place, there's a tiny bit chance that strangers in this different pace would eventually met and know each other.

And so we did.

We became acquaintances, we became friends, he introduced me to his friends, and that made me happy.

Later did I know, you has someone commited to. You had a girlfriend for almost three months. How ironic is, she accused me of being a slut and a boyfriend stealer.

I didn't know. I didn't know that you're with someone. I became a fool, I became a fool in front of your friends.

Why?

You told me that you didn't realize that I am falling for you, and I said that your so naive.

You honestly then said to me that I make you happy, that I am one of a kind friend, that you love the way i care about you.

So i let it slide. I let you be with her. I know I'm too late anyway.

Weeks passed, we saw each other again. You go after me and say hello, asking how am i, and why i no longer keeping in touch.

I was mentally slapping you in my mind if you know, your so clueless and prude. It made me angry, but I can't say anything because you dont know that.

Then out of the blue you said, your still care about me, you loved me and you didn't realize it, that you were happier with me than her.

Then I told you, why? What was holding you back? And you simply said, "I love her".

Did it hurt me? Yes. Badly.
Did it stung my heart? Yes. Terribly.
Did it crushed me? Yes. Totally.

So I didn't say anything, I kept my pain all to myself. Maybe, just maybe, i could only feel the numbness of my heart, unable to feel the pain you caused me.

After hearing those simple words, it crashed my hope. The hope that someday, you'lle be able to realize how deeply i care about you. How seriously i wished you love me too.

Time passed, and little by little, slowly i picked up my broken pieces.

But how cruel my fate to me, that it drawn me back near you - again.

Is it such bad luck that a friend yours and mine is acquainted that we met each other again by their schemes?

For me - it's so unfortunate.

I stopped picking up my remaining pieces. I was blinded by how i felt.

So this time i didn't ask him anything about his relationship. I simply thought to my self.

Broken I am right now, would it still hurt if i tried again for the last time? Besides, i wont feel pain anymore if i fail.

So I decided to talk to you. We did. We even hang out together, we even had dinner together. You introduced me again to your new friends and eventually you asked me out.

Funny thing is I agreed. I didn't care, it made me happy.

Days, Weeks, Months, A Year... We stayed to be together for almost two years behind your other girlfriend's back.

I know that I, We are being unfair to her. But sadly, I was so evil to care about her whereabouts. I didn't care to what she felt. I was numb for those things.

I did love you, but i didn't gave my all. I know that eventually, you'lle leave me like you did before.

And I wasn't wrong.

That day came, when she stole your phone and texted me using your number saying that i should leave you alone, and that you dont love me anymore.

I laugh to myself, how stupid are you to break up with me through the phone. I didn't reply.

After that text, i haven't receive any messages from you anymore. So i decided to keep moving forward. I was affected, Yes. But i didn't let it pass me. I was stronger than before.

Days passed, and i received a message from you just saying 'hey'.

I replied unconsciously with a 'hi'.

Then you replied, why i wasn't texting you and why i was gone without telling you. I was shocked. The moment i read your text, i was puzzled... but then i figured it out easily.

Her.

I told you the story, the text messages, the exact words she said to me using your name.

And you apologized to me and I said no need. Because i totally get the idea.

So I asked you if your still willing to continue this charade of US.

You didn't reply, i stared at you, you said you loved me, and you said you love her too.

I took a deep breath and said to you, "You should be with her, besides she had you first." With a broken heart, i accepted the words i said to you.

Certain people just came into your life, but you cant hold on into them. I did believed that we should beware of happiness, because happiness tends to be just temporary.

And so it is.

Now when I see you with her from a far. I slightly tug of string pulls my heart into it's place. And I know that you still care, because I caught you looking for me, and I look away avoiding you gaze.

Who would blame me?

You and Me?
You and Her?

My heart cries but still accepts. Its just that...

It's Should Have been Us.

love you still,

Dee

📝📝📝

I cant believe i wrote this.. hahaha.. this is just a short story guys. Just think of it as a story told by a friend. :)

Anyway,

I hoped you enjoy the story, even though it is sad. I'm sorry i'm so cold in making endings. harhar

But...

THANK YOU FOR READING :)

💭