Love Sucks

Chapter 1 - Rejections from the Heart

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*Chapter 1 - Rejections from the Heart*

I hate Valentine’s Day. Always have, always will.

It’s just such a waste of time, I mean what’s the point, buying presents for the “love of your life”.  I mean, if you love someone surely, you should make them feel special and loved all year round, not just one day in three hundred and sixty five! Load of commercial rubbish if you ask me. Sure, what is love?

It’s… It’s… something! And at the end you always end up with a “Broken Heart”. What’s the point of putting yourself at risk in the first place? Personally I keep myself way out of the danger zone.

I like to keep things the way they are, no boyfriend for a month or two then grieving and heatbreak for ages after, just because he breaks up with you with the corny lines “It’s not you, it’s me” and the whole “we can still be friends,” as if? When you know it’s actually because he’s found someone prettier. Nice way of thinking, isn’t it?

I can’t explain why I’m such an antagonist towards Valentine’s Day and everything love and romance related. I would say it’s because I still think boys have germs and all that but, I’m pretty certain I grew out of that years ago. Well, I am seventeen years old.

I am seriously starting to wonder what’s wrong with me? Why am I such a love Scrooge?

When I give it some serious contemplation, I started to think it was probably because of that faithful day ten years ago, the day before Valentine’s Day, ironically enough.

That was the day my dad walked out, just walked out suitcase in one hand, car keys in the other. Mam and Dad were after having another of their fierce, heated arguments  and I just presumed it was another spar over something totally unimportant. But this was different, even my seven year old self realised that. After what seemed like an eternity Dad stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind him. I caught in the split second of the door being partially open, Mam slumped against the kitchen counter, looking devastated. Dad marched into the small cupboard under the staircase and retrieved a large, bulging, black suitcase. Walked over to me where I stood with a dazed expression on his face. He picked me up, kissed my head, and said he was going out for a while. When I asked him where he was going, he told me he didn’t know yet. I, being my naïve and innocent little self, didn’t take this as anything strange. He said goodbye, and walked out the front door, giving one last remorseful glance around. I didn’t know that would be for the last time.

For months after my Mam was always sad, moping and depressed.  I was utterly confused; as to why dad never returned, why mam never sang anymore, never looked happy, why our small family seemed completely and utterly broken. She never properly recovered.

It wasn’t till a year or two later I realised, that a ‘while’ meant never. I haven’t seen him since.

I guess that’s why, I just want to go down the same road, don’t want any change or turmoil in my life. I like to leave things the way they are.

I guess that’s why I’m so hard-hearted.

But there’s one slight flaw in my system. I only have a few, very close friends and not many others. I could say there’s a good few reasons for this, but then I would be lying. All the girls at my school seem to be single minded people, their mind focused on one thing. Looking good, or their own image of ‘beauty’, dressing nice, or what other people would call ‘like a prostitute, and getting boyfriend / impressing boys.

I, on the other hand just could not be bothered. Men are all just worthless wastes of space once they claim they ‘love’ you, this I know for certain.

It was all because of the system in my School. The system of getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. It wasn’t like in the movies, there was no mutual attraction, a shy invitation to a first date, eventually pronouncing themselves as ‘more than friends’.

No, none of that. It was; you decided on someone you liked, told someone, who told them, and they walked over to them and bluntly asked them to go out with you. I always thought it was slightly barbaric. And it was what was happening right now.

***

It was the new kid, in my base class. Darren, his name was. He was good looking, anyone would give him that. Tan and Lean, with surfer messy dirty blonde hair. Darren was like the Justin Bieber of 6a1. All the girls (excluding me) swooned over him, and the guys just presumed that any guy who looked that good, was so obviously gay. Weirdly enough, I was the one to prove the guys wrong.

Darren, of course, loved all the attention and the jealousy so obviously radiating off the other boys in the class. For some reason, was determined to have exactly what he couldn’t have. The ‘Forbidden Fruit Phenomena’ I think that’s what it’s called, wanting exactly what you couldn’t have. Which in this case, unfortunately meant me….

He seemed to find out about the system at Wollaston’s Academy pretty quickly, as from around a week after he arrived, every day I would find him pestering me to say I’ll be his girlfriend. Until one day I finally snapped, it was at lunch in the school canteen.

“Saaarah! Come on, you know you want to go out with this piece of hot stuff!” I swivelled on my chair so I had my back to him, it didn’t discourage him any.

“You know to want to!” He nearly whined in a hushed tone. It wasn’t helping his case.

“No! I never in a million years will ever want to go out with you!” Oh no, that came out a bit harsh. All in all, I probably deserved worse than what I got.

“Fine! You know what? Feck, that, I’m done here! I guess the rumours about you being a heartless little missy are true! Well, I’m off! See ya!” Following that he stormed out of the canteen, leaving 800 students staring in his wake.

Once I thought over what he had said “I guess the rumours about you being a heartless little missy are true!” Ohh…  People were spreading rumours about me?

I looked to my friends, Carla and Danielle sitting at the table with me and searched their faces for any sign of concern or sympathy, all I saw was them looking awkward before they both buried their heads in their own lunches. Leaving me staring in dismay.

What am I going to do with myself?

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