From The Start

53

Candice

I made it into class and I immediately went to my seat. I heard news going around the school about Phillip and I didn't want to believe it was true. He was such a great guy and I knew somehow that he was attracted to me but I didn't want to hurt his feelings...

After Nathan confirmed it in a month ago and told me everything about what he and Phillip had planned, I couldn't face him. I needed time to think and so I went home and ignored all of his phone calls and text messages. I heard a few voicemails and was tempted to call him back but I stood my ground and leaped under the covers the rest of the day. That night my mother came home and surprised me with some really stressing news...

She came up to my room and knocked at the door softly like she normally would and once I gave her the ok, she walked over to my bed quietly and sat down at the edge. I took in her scent of jello and orange juice and turned over to face her. She looked worn and her clothes was covered in stains of which the smells matched.

"Hey mom," I greeted, my hand tucked underneath my head. With all her energy, she gave me a half smile and looked down quickly. I sensed something was up. She always did that whenever she wanted to say something but was holding it back. "Mom, what is it?" I spoke and instantly sat up to face her.

"Candy..." She her voice hitched, "Your father called." I looked at her with a straight face and then took a deep breath. Why was that so hard to say?

"Ok mom." I then smiled and didn't really care to know what he had to say. I leaned over the bed and reached for my mom to embrace her. She was surprised for a moment and then didn't hesitate to hug me back. I could smell her shea butter faintly on her skin. I grinned inwardly and my mind wandering off from the nostalgia.

"Candy." my mom said over my shoulder. She squeezed me tightly now. "You know that I love you right baby?" I wanted to let go once she said that but it felt great to be in her arms. I didn't want to lose that feeling. I just nodded my head as a response. "And you know that I would never hurt you or do anything to make you feel otherwise?"

"Mom, why are you saying this now?" I figured it was the tiredness talking but she continued.

"Your father called and...and he...He made me agree to..." I released her and sat back on my knees.

"Mom, what did you do?" I eyed her questioningly and firmly. She looked down as if she was embarrassment and I made out a tear, glistening down her cheek.

"I agreed to send you to New York, where he lives and let you attend college there." My eyes widened and my heart rate quickened.

"Mom, you're joking right? You're not serious!" I felt the urge to yell at her but I held it in.

"No, I am not. We discuss everything and your father has made arrangements for you to stay in an apartment that he has bought and to attend New York University." I felt the tears from and warm up my eyes
.
"Where was my say in all of this?" I suddenly began to speak. "You know I wanted to stay here and attend college. Why would you go and do something like this? There you and dad go treating me like a kid again and never ask me what I want. Do you loath me that much?" I got up from the bed after I snapped at her and ran out the room before she could get to me.

I got down stairs as fast as I could and placed whatever shoes I could find, on my feet. I grabbed a cardigan off of the coat rack and opened the door with so much force, that I ran into Derek's chest just as he was about the reach a key into the door. Just that one look in his eye caused me to lose it. I fought back more tears, but my eyes began to burn. It began to flow like a broken fountain, running down my cheek, giving me the tingly sensation in my back. I felt arms suddenly encircle me and I went into them willing, placing my head on his hard chest... It was all happening so fast so I let out all the emotions and built up frustration.

"You'll be ok?" he soothed and placed a kiss on the top of my head. I felt his arms lift me up and I tucked me head into his chest even more and felt the sleep take over.

I awoke in my bed, heavy-eyed and yawning. I detected faint voices and it caused me to become curious. I still remembered everything as clear as day and although I was bit calmer than before, I still felt the irritation grueling in me. I flew off of my bed and walked to find the light switch on the wall. I found it with little luck and flipped it on. My window shades, my closet door and my bathroom door which were all shut. I exited my room and paced over to the stairs, but froze at the top once I heard the voices much more clearer.

"How could you do this to her?" I hear the voice of Derek, but I never heard him speak this loudly.

"I had to D. I want her to have a better life. Better than this damn town... this will be good for her... I don't want her to struggle and bear the load like I have." My mom spoke this time. I hear this and it made me feel like I had no control over my life. My own future.

"Mom, that's beside the point. You should've given her the choice. She has feelings too." It felt good to hear that he was on my side.

"D, what's done is done. I don't want to hear it anymore. She is going to New York and that's final. She may not like the idea of this at first but I know that this will be good for her. She will live a good life past this place." I moved from my spot and felt like I had no words. I walked down to the bottom and caught Derek walking towards me. I noted as he went around the opening of the kitchen and leaned over to silently kiss my forehead, before advancing up the stairs, most likely to his room. My mom on the other hand went back to the sink to do dishes and never turned around. Since then, the house has been quiet and we didn't bother to say a word to one another. Derek was on mute, my mother sulked and I was just flat out angry. All I could contemplate about was leaving my home and my family behind...

I pasted the school building and ignored everyone. I couldn't face the boy I just started to fall for and wanted to be with. I didn't know how to tell him that my time with him would come to an end and our worlds would soon collapse. I didn't want to go to another place knowing I would leave him behind and would have to pretend like I was ok with it.

I needed time but I didn't have much.
How could I face him knowing how much we talked about life after graduating? How we discussed attending the same school. Our plans to spend time with another, go on more dates. Strengthen our connection and love.

Now it will all come to an end!