Waking up feeling like he'd just been whacked with a bottle the previous night, Levi found leeches all over his chest and assumed he was in a stranger's house because he also saw a fireplace. He didn't recognize the house either, so yeah. Anyways, it was real quiet around Levi and after about five minutes of staring around, he had just remembered there were leeches on him.
But he couldn't get up. The leeches scared him so he started yelling and screaming like an old man to see if anybody was in the house with him.
"UUUggHHh ~ MMmeERrggUUHh" he groaned.
But nobody came. And he really wanted to take the leeches off. They didn't seem like they broke through his skin yet, so that's good for him.
For what seemed like hours later, it was only 7 minutes before he fell back to sleep without realizing that he went back to sleep... but then he quickly heard a "rustling through bushes" sound? He opened his eyes again and tried to look around again for what was making that sound.
Then, there he was. The stranger. He looked very familiar... Levi recognized him. His name was... Lenny!
"You're Lenny!" said Levi.
"Hoi, I'm Lenny," said Lenny. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Uh, yeah, that's what I just said."
"Yahh." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"......"
".... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)...."
"Umm, okay, uhh WAIT! Why the fuck do you have a beard? You don't usually have a beard from what I've seen." Levi questioned. Also noticing Lenny had a beard, he concluded that it was making the rustling sound earlier.
"Oh, you know me good. How do you know me good hah?" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"... I... have no idea. You look like a Lenny." Also noticing that Lenny was bald, Levi was satisfied. He didn't want Lenny to know that his mind created a strange emoticon without hair in his dreams. And if he did know, he would have been at a risk of having Lenny think that Levi had always dreamed of a customized senpai. But the emoticon had just come to him. He had no intention of falling in love with it.
"AHAHHH! But this is not a beard, I just have the hair on my face. I got it from someone." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Umm, alright. Do you mind if I ask who?"
"I got from you. Your chest." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Levi took another look at his chest and had just recalled that he had grown some chest hair over time. He got mad.
"OHH YOU MOTHERFUCKER, GIMME MY HAIR BACK!"
"No, I trow away." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Then Lenny went to "trow" it away.
Holding back tears, Levi was suddenly coincidentially able to move again, tore off the leeches, then quickly got over his loss while sitting on the edge of the bed.
Then Lenny started to speak. "I have someting to tell you." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"That 90% of your sentences are broken?" said Levi, trying to answer, despised.
"Oh naw naw. I want to tell you that... I love you." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Oh shipfft," Levi thought to himself. "I hate this guy. Godammit, what do I do?"
"HEY!" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said Lenny, trying to recatch Levi's attention.
"Oh, uhh, you see I can't like you back. I-"
"LOOOOOVVEEE me?" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"NO. SHUT. THE FUCKING. FUCK. UP. LEMME FINISH. LITTLE BITCH........ umm err, (Levi still didn't know what to say to turn Lenny down so he said whatever came out of his mouth) "I... can't LOVE you because... I already have a boyfriend. YES, THAT'S RIGHT! A BOYFRIEND! His name is Err-"
"So you no liking me?" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"CAN YOU NOT. INTERRUPT. DID MOMMY. NOT TEACH. YOUR SORRY ASS. SOMETHING. CALLED. MANNERS?" Levi yelled in rage. "Oops, uhh, don't mind that. His name is..... ("Godammit, what's the name going to be?")" "Errrrrrrrrrwin. Umm yeah, ERWIN UHH JEAGER! ERWIN JEAGER!"
"fffUUUUUUCK, I'm SCrEEEWWWWED," Levi thought to himself.
Lenny started crying with a smile on his face.
"But I thought you were GAY," ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) said Lenny, while snot and tears ran down his nose like a river. He wiped his face in such a messy way he ended up looking like a yuki-oona. Then he tried to grab Levi.
"LET ME TOUCH YOU FOR AN WHOLE DAY PLEASE! I LOVE A LEVI AND NEED AT LEAST SOME OF HIM BEFORE I'M DEAD!" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"No. NOOOOOO," Levi shouted, trying to escape the grasp of Lenny's filthy hands after wiping his face and not washing anything after. "I'm leaving this place. I don't like you. FUCK your face, FUCK you, FUCK your leeches. I'M OUT!"
Levi kicks Lenny in the face, knocking him out unconcious as he makes a weird hissy, wheezy sound, almost similar to the sound a balloon makes when it loses air.
"Ugh," Levi said in disgust.
Then he fleed the house, finding his 3D Maneuver Gear at the porch and flew awaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy.
It was very foggy and there were many tall trees and a couple poles here and there. Levi thought it was very convenient to easily escape like that. No titans around, no Lenny, just trees he can zoom through. He had a slight feeling that he was going the right way to where all his comrades are. Luckily, he found them after such a long day. He was surprised that he hasn't run out of gas yet, nor did he crash into a tree. And it suddenly got sunny after leaving those woods.
He only saw Hanji, Erwin, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. No one else seemed to be around.
"Welcome back, Heichou! What happened to you? Why are you... half naked?" Eren asks.
"Huh? Uhh, I was training with the 3DMG until some bastard bird flew around so I got distracted and almost ran into a tree. A branch just tore my shirt off. No scratches or cuts though." Levi lied. He thought it was best to not explain the weird events that happened to him.
"Well, that sure is rare to happen to humanity's strongest soldier," Hanji points out. "DAYUM, LOOK AT THEM ABS. THIS IS WHY LEVI DON'T DIE!"
"Tch," Levi responds. "And why are you guys out here anyways? Aren't you cautious of titans lurking around? And with no support from everyone else, you guys could die."
Erwin explains what he's trying to do. "You see, you did disappear a while earlier without telling anyone. But I took you all out here without telling you an idea I had come up with. With just our little group, I want to see if it's possible to make an underground tunnel where no titans are around. We can use it to retreat temporarily when things go wrong but can only go in when no titans see us, otherwise, they would destroy the area. Another reason why we should build it is because it's rather safer to lure the titans somewhere else other than back to the walls. Even if we all die, humanity doesn't just yet."
"And it's close to the trees, which provide us another option to leave to when the tunnel isn't working its functions. The trees also give us a good hiding place from even the 15 meter titans," Armin adds. "We might need multiple entrances and exits so it's more convenient to move around depending on where the soldiers are standing. It's always super foggy around here so we can just go in the tunnels without being seen, but even they could be watching us without anyone knowing so we should shoot our guns to make a distraction for them."
"I see," said Levi. "It's not a bad idea. It will be more efficient and it's not much too far away from the walls, so we can get back closer when no one's chasing us."
"It may take a few months to build but let us deploy the plan in exactly one week. We're also calling this plan "Rainbow Assassination Patrol Event. RAPE for short," Erwin announces.
"We're not even assassinating rainbows though," says Levi.
"You should just deal with it. Even we're confused and don't know the reason for it," Mikasa said.
"Tch."
They started heading back to the walls and saw a rainbow on the way.
"OOH A RAINBOW LEMME KILL IT," Erwin shouts excitedly.
Armin tries to hold Erwin back on his horse somehow. "WAIT, REMEMBER THE NAME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR THE TUNNEL PLAN unless..."
"Unless..." Hanji adds.
"Erwin knows what Skittles are," they said in unison.
~End of Chapter 1~
