Fall Apart

Chapter One

"You won't hurt me Maya," Farkle says.

"How do you know I won't," Farkle stares at her. She sighs. "Please."

"You have to tell them." He says and she releases him, raises her eyebrows and turns and walks off.

****

Maya gets back to Pappy Joe's much earlier than the rest of them. The door is unlocked and she lets herself in, notices nobody in the lounge and walks up to one of the spare rooms that she and Riley are sharing. She changes and wishes they didn't have to share tonight, or maybe ever, depending on whether Farkle keeps his mouth shut. She also wishes they didn't have to go to the barn dance that they'd been talking about yesterday.

Farkle does keep quiet. He doesn't want to, but he doesn't want Maya to hate him. He hopes that she'll tell them when she's ready. He hopes that it will be soon.

Lucas is just confused. He's always cared about Maya since they became friends. Like he cares about Farkle, Zay and Riley. He's pretty sure she cares about him. They have their game. Maya will make fun of him and call him names and he won't retaliate because she'll get irritated, or pretend to be and tell him he's not playing it right. But mostly he's just confused. They are teenagers. And he has no idea what would have caused her outburst. He's thankful Riley pushed him and he did it because she believed in him. But Maya wanted him to go. To be far away from that bull. And he wanted that too.

And Riley, Riley is worried about Maya. When Maya hides things it's always no good, and Maya is hiding something. She knows it's pretty big. But Maya hasn't told her. But Farkle knows. Riley's also a little disappointed, Maya is her best friend, she should trust her. As much as she wants to let Maya say it on her own, she can't help that she wants to fix it.

***

The door softly opens a while later and Riley walks in. Maya looks up. Lucas had told Riley he really liked her, it had been a while ago, but he'd still said it. Riley had told her all about it. She could see why. Riley was pretty, smart, adorable and innocent and sweet and no wonder she'd never stood a chance.

"Peaches," Riley muttered softly, sitting on the bed beside Maya, "What's up? Talk to me."

"Nothing's up, Riles." She replies trying put more sincerity into her voice than she feels, "It's been a long day, I'm just a little tired is all."

Riley ponders on this for a moment. "You were worried about him weren't you. Lucas, I mean."

"No..." She denies quickly. "Well of course, we're his best friends Riles. Why, wouldn't you be?"

"Of course, I am. I was. I've just never seen you care that much." Maya nods, "Maya you know you can tell me anything, right? You're my sister and I love you. You know that." Maya nods again and gives a half hearted smile as Riley hugs her, resting her head on her shoulder.

***

Maya had to watch Lucas and Riley dance together that night. It was harder than she thought, watching them. How easily they seemed to go together. Zay had gone for drinks so it was just her and Farkle. She was leaning against him, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. They'd both been watching as the pair danced. Farkle had again suggested that she tell Riley and Lucas how she felt; she had again refused. If it would protect Riley, she would let it eat her up inside. She would be fine. There would be other guys.

"Hurts, doesn't it." But what did he know. He had Smackle. He hadn't had to hide his feelings from his best friend. He'd just fallen into love. It had been quick and natural and easy. Maya just wanted to go home, maybe wallow in self pity.

***

They're out on the porch, all of them. It's late and the sky is dark, the area just lit by lamps. The air is tense but nobody really knows why, well Maya and Farkle do. The other just sense it.

"Maya, are you really going to never talk to me again?" Lucas demands as she reaches for the door.

This time she walks up to him. "What you did was so stupid! You could've gotten hurt! What do you think it would've done to the people who-"

"Care about you? I think you were gonna say care about you," Zay interjects into the short awkward silence.

"What? I'm not talking about me! You think I'm talking about me?" Maya reaches back for the door behind her and slips in. Lucas looks startled and disappointed and the group exchange looks. By the time they enter the house Maya has already gotten out of sight. Riley figures talking to Maya while she seems angry right now doesn't seem like a good idea and suddenly she's not so excited for this trip any more. And Maya?

Maya is sobbing quietly in the bathroom by their bedroom. She hates hiding things from Riley. Hates it. But she doesn't think she has a choice. She hates people seeing her cry. She doesn't do it in front of people often and she doesn't plan to start. It would mess up the image she carefully created. The façade of nihilism and sarcastic responses. Sometimes she doesn't care. But sometimes she does. Sometimes she hides it. If it will protect her friends. She wants to do what's best for everyone concerned.