EPISODE 2: "Video Girl"

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August 17, 2010                                                        

VIDEO GIRL: 

“I Don’t Wanna Fall In Love” 

As crazy as it is, here I am again!

…doing this sentimental girlie girl crap!

(I almost can’t believe it myself).

As God is my witness, after that last disgusting display of sensitivity I did the other night (blubbering on like a love sick puppy, about some girl at work that will never even give two craps about me in this life time), I swore up and down that I would NEVER do this stuff again.

And seriously, I meant it!

BUT, I have to hand it to the Gods of romance, Cupid, or maybe just Dayna herself (with her sneaky powers of suggestion)…cause what happened to me today was so RIDICOULOUSLY amazing, and Randomly IMPOSSIBLE that I absolutely have no choice but to write about it.  In fact I would have to be 150% out of my mind NOT to make a record of it somehow.

Believe me, it was truly what they mean when they say something is a “Once in a lifetime” experience.  Of course it involved a girl, but this was not your every day, around the way girl.  NAHH…believe it or not, this whole thing is all because today yours truly, mister “average Joe” himself got the chance to spend the entire day (I’m talking from breakfast lunch and dinner) with one of the sexiest, hottest, incredibly light-years “above average”, female Pop stars of all time – miss Shakira, Shakira!

Say What?...“GET THE F#%@! OUT OF HERE!!!”

(Is what you’d be saying if you were here and I was actually telling this to you in person - LOL!)

Believe me…I know how impossible it sounds too.

 I almost can’t believe it really happened myself, even though I’M the one that it happened to.

BUT IT SURE AS HELL DID!

And that’s why I HAD to break my solemn oath to myself, (and to my manhood – lol!) and break out my rap book to defile it with yet another sappy episode of “Diary of a love sick Joe”.  (lol!)

Ok so, seriously speaking you must be full of questions now…like:  Is she as gorgeous in person as she is on t.v.?  Was she a cool chic? Did anything remotely steamy, sexy or worth writing about even happen? 

Or most important of all…HOW THE HECK DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN TO A REGULAR JOE LIKE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Well that my friends is what I’m here to do.  Tell all the juicy details and cement them in the pages of my sacred book of lyrics, where they will be preserved in infamous (but private) glory for the ages. MUHAHAHAHA!! d

Now of course you know, me being a life long rapper and all, I have to express myself the best way I know how: through a song.  I mean it goes without saying, if Office Girl motivated me enough to write a few lyrics about her, then you can bet your life that the sexy Shakira (or “Video Girl”, as she said I can call her nowj), definitely inspired some phat lyrics!  So before I tell you the boring details of how I got to meet her, (and more importantly, before I go to bed and forget the lyrics in my head), I’m bout to bang them out for your benefit…and mine. 

So without further a due…I give you my ode to Video Girl!

“I DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE”

I used to see you everyday on the T.V. screen,

A fly girl with the hottest song on MTV.

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