52 writings

xx.

update: I don't love you anymore

I don't really even love at all

sometimes, I wish I still did

was it better than this?

time has a funny way of blotting shit out

sound, taste and smell

the first to go

and so the bitter notes of our relationship, of love (if that's what you want to call it)

are dissolved from my memory

yeah I remember sealing ourselves away in your bedroom to cry and fight

but I don't remember how your tears tasted when they drenched my lips

or the sound of your snores when we didn't make up before bed

and you were fast asleep

and I was suffocating sobs

it's not supposed to be easy but

it's not supposed to be this hard

I've hardly seen a lonely day since I left you

you had a knack of making a bad day last a whole week

and the months were filled with them

since I left you, I've had only good weeks

34 good weeks

you used to say you couldn't remember the last time it'd been good

now I cant remember the last time it was bad

maybe I dont feel so intensely like I used to

but its better than the black hole in my body

that opened up

whenever you were around