(a/n: the italics are all of lukes thoughts)
luke took one last look at his journal before closing it softly. he never liked any of this. he hated it.
he hated how he had to wake up everyday to go see the person who broke his heart love someone else.
he hated how he had to sit there and let michael and ashton punch him until he was suffocating on collapsed lungs.
he hated the way she would pretend he didn't exist when they passed each other in the halls.
he hated how the sun felt on his skin.
he hated the scars the razor left on his wrist.
luke hated his life.
but he loved it too. he loved how every single day when he was walking to school little old marg from the bakery would give him three blueberry muffins.
he loved seeing the two boys kiss in front of the bus stop before they would get on the bus.
he loved all the memories from when him and calum were still best friends.
he loved how he wrote in his journal every time he ran home from school crying.
he loved how the cold metal felt being pressed against his skin.
he loved how when he stood in the library of the school all he could think about is the first time he told her he loved her.
he didn't regret it.
he didn't regret any of it as he stood on the chair in his kitchen with the rope tied around his neck.
he attached the other end of the rope to the ceiling fan
no one is going to miss you,luke.
he tightened it the littlest bit as he took his last few breaths
who would love a depressed boy?
he sat for a minute, waiting for someone to come rescue him
just don't overthink it
kick the chair and end it all
he took one step towards the end of the chair
that's it, just one more
another
so close luke, so close
"but-"
come on luke do it
no one will miss you
everyone has already left you
no one will love a suicidal freak
that's all that you are
a suicidal freak
just do it for everyone
end it all, for us.
so luke listened
and
he
ended
it
all
