I Forgive You (Shizuo x Izaya)

Chapter 1

Originally published January 25, 2012

"Sh-...Shizu-chan?"

The dark-haired informant stood several feet away from the strongest man in Ikebukuro. He had been ready to begin the typical regime of teasing and playing chase with his favorite monster. He had arrived in the alleyway, expecting to find Shizuo holding a street sign or machine of some sort, ready to be thrown. Except this time, Shizuo was sitting against the wall, his head hanging low.

"What do you want flea?" He growled without looking up as Izaya walked closer.

"What is this? Shizu-chan has nothing to throw at me today?" The informant wondered aloud as he stopped and leaned over the blonde.

Clearly irritated, Shizuo lifted his head to face Izaya, his stare angry and unavoidable. "The hell you want flea?"

Izaya smirked. Shizuo broke his glare and went back to looking at the ground. Of course the parasite wouldn't answer a simple question...even asked twice.

"Just get out of here. Stay out of Ikebukuro. You're the last person I want to see here." The blonde put his hand through his hair and sighed heavily. He was exhausted from the night before, having gotten little sleep and nightmares. Even the flea bothered him in his dreams.

Something was obviously wrong, and Izaya thought that Shizuo's currently odd behavior wasn't his fault.

"Shizu-chan, I can't have you sitting around acting like a defenseless human being displaying such...emotions. Ne...I thought you were stronger than that!" Izaya yelled but hadn't meant to. He didn't want this. He wanted Shizuo to act the way he always did, and a sad Shizuo was a boring Shizuo, making him useless as a rival.

Izaya didn't know what to do. Really the only reason he 'hated' Shizuo was because he was the only one he couldn't predict the actions of. It was more of a frustration rather than hatred, but Izaya didn't want to admit that.

This situation was by far a test of that theory, and it was something that Izaya never thought he would ever be dealing with.

Izaya stood at the side, right above the depressed blonde, observing him closely. Surprisingly, Shizuo seemed to make no protests to the closeness. Receiving no apparent reaction from the bodyguard, Izaya sat right down next to him and stared, resuming his observations. A loud sigh resounded.

"I still have feelings. And I have every right to display them. Sorry to disappoint, but I am a human being whether you like it or not. I just happen to be abnormal." Realizing how familiar he was being with Izaya, Shizuo immediately turned his head, snapping at the informant. "Anyways, what are you still doing here? Scram flea."

Izaya didn't move. He kept his eyes locked on Shizuo.

What Shizuo had said awoke something inside of the brunette. It wasn't a surprise what the bodyguard had pointed out that he was human. It was true, after all. But he was a human being with super strength, therefore making him different than a normal human. A monster.

It was something simple that had been said, but it was also a large realization to reality for Izaya. He knew that Shizuo was a human being. He just didn't want to accept it as a fact. ...Shizu-chan is a monster. He can't be a human. No. I love all humans. I hate him. Therefore, I can't accept him as a human, otherwise...

"I just want you to disappear. I'm not in the mood." The annoyed blonde grunted and stood up, his fists clenched, and began to walk away. Izaya followed close behind, still curious as to why his favorite monster was acting this way.

After they had been walking for about an hour, Shizuo finally seemed to decide to take notice of his companion. They had reached a deserted parking lot as Shizuo stopped walking. He turned around to face the informant in a seemingly calm manner, adjusting his sunglasses before opening his eyes and narrowing them.

"Why the hell are you st-..." Shizuo stopped mid-sentence when he saw Izaya's face.

The informant was deep in thought, fighting a mental battle with himself as he tried to decide if he should consider Shizuo Heiwajima, the monster of Ikebukuro, as a human. Yet as he struggled with that, another question came to his mind.

On the outside, Shizuo saw a side of the informant that he had never seen before. His head was lowered and he was staring at the ground near Shizuo's shoes, his eyes appearing blank. Was the flea actually...upset?

The bodyguard let out a large sigh as he put his hands into his pockets. "Flea..."

An answer finally came. "I'm trying to figure out..." More silence.

The bodyguard let out a low growl. "Figure out what?"

The informant finally responded, softly but loud enough to be heard. "Why do I...hate you?"

Shizuo's eyes widened. Izaya looked up, his eyes suddenly full of many emotions.

"Why, Shizu-chan? You're the one person I can never figure out. But that's what makes it fun," Izaya stepped closer and shook his head. "I always say that I hate you but I don't really know why. I don't even know if I actually hate you. Or is it the fact that you are not like my beloved humans at all?"

"Tch." Shizuo smirked and adjusted his sunglasses again. "I'm the only one you can't manipulate. Of course that would eat at your dignity."

Izaya shrugged. "Yes but," He still had a disappointed look upon his face as he stood a few feet from Shizuo. "I know that I don't feel hatred. I've been giving it the wrong name for years now..." He lost himself in his thoughts again. Shizuo frowned and stared at the brunette, still a bit confused as to why this generally proud man in front of him was suddenly having a mood swing.

Shizuo could care less if Izaya hated him or not. He hated Izaya, after all, and that wasn't about to change.

"Maybe I didn't know what else to feel, because I know that you hate me..." Izaya slowly lifted his head to catch Shizuo's confused gaze. "So, I don't hate you..." Suddenly, another thought came into his mind. "Which brings another question...Shizu-chan,"

The bodyguard put his fingers through his hair and kept his eyes on Izaya. This was the strangest thing. Izaya was acting so different. Almost like he was nervous. "What? Tell me."

Izaya seemed to find it quite difficult to actually speak what was on his mind. It was a question...and this question, if answered, could possibly solve everything that was bothering him.

"Shizu-chan..." There was a hint of sorrow in the small man's voice. "Why do you...hate me?"

Shizuo opened his mouth to speak then stopped, just taking in the actual question, pondering upon what he was just asked.

I hate him! I hate that louse! He's a bastard, I want to kill him so much! He makes me angry, and I always want to punch that annoying smile off of his face! Every time I see him I just want to hit him over and over again with the nearest heavy object!

Those were the things that Shizuo thought about saying. They were all of the things he wanted to say.I hate you! I hate you so much! Shizuo was about to yell his hatred until his eyes widened with realization. But...why? Why do I hate him?

"...Why do I..." The blonde stood there for what seemed like minutes, trying to figure out how to respond. Sure, Izaya had framed him for a murder he didn't commit. He interrupted his daily life with his loud and annoying mouth, and pretty much anything that went wrong in Ikebukuro could be traced back to the informant. But those were just things that made him hate Izaya even more. Yet when it came down to it, there had to be a start to his hatred. And Shizuo didn't even know if he had an absolute answer.

"Shizu-chan..." Izaya waited patiently for a response, but decided to help the bodyguard's thinking process. "In high school, that first day you met me-...ne. The first time you laid eyes on me...I knew you hated me. But for what reason?" Izaya kept his tone of voice soft and serious, unlike anything Shizuo had even known could be done by the brunette.

"I...I don't know why I hate you..."