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The Talk

2 days later Ant graduate day

"Congratulations Anth!" Dec exclaimed when Ant approached him after his graduate ceremony and pulled him into a embrace.

"Aye, thanks man" He smiled and pulled away from the embrace. He doesn't look happy Dec thought.

"Hey what's wrong man?" Dec asked with concern "No it's nothing just that... I don't know, I had finished another step of my life and It feels weird"

"I understand but you know what"
"What?"
"I'm going to be there with every step from now on because you are important to me. If you want any help, any advice or anything, I'm gonna be there for you, Anth" I love you and I want to take care of you for the rest of my life. Argh I wish I could say that.

"Thanks, Enough with the talking let's get to party, ready to go?" He shouted pulling Dec by his hand to the nearest pub.

"If you are pulling me this hard you don't have to ask if I'm ready okay?" Dec giggled

"Aye, sorry man just excited!"
"That's all right. Let's go and celebrate!" He patted Ant's shoulder.

When they got to the pub, they barely drunk anything just talking about their experience in school and their future but Dec could sense something was different. It was like Ant being distract, thinking about something and somehow distant.

"I want to ask you something" Ant said
"What do you want to know?"
"Why don't you have any boyfriend?" Why he want to know about this. I mean he know why. Really?

"You know why" Dec stared into Ant's eyes
"What? Oh Me? You still like me?" Dec was speechless yeah, I still love you. Are you really don't know about that?

"Let just not talk about that. It's your day everything should be about you not me!" He changed the subject, avoiding Ant's eyes.

"Aye, you right! Want another drink?" He was relief that Ant let this subject dropped.

"That would be great!"
"Two more beers, please?" He ordered a bartender. They started to talk again but this time they both felt uncomfortable but didn't say anything.

Finally it's time for them to go home. They were walking to Ant's house for 'after party' so Dec thought it was a great opportunity for him to ask Ant about what he discovered on Facebook.

"I saw what you did on you Facebook. You changed your relationship status so you have a boyfriend? Who is this lucky guy huh? Dec asked trying to calm himself. The great part he really wanted to know but the other part he didn't. He was scared that this would effect their relationship.

"Why do you want to know, jealous? Ant asked back jokily

"Uh no, I just want to know who he is that's all" Dec said and blushed Yes, I'm jealous. I know I shouldn't but still I was here first.

"Then I'm not going to tell you!"
"Okay, thanks" Dec frowned So it's true then. He has a boyfriend. He sniffed.

"Are you okay?" Ant asked with concern
"No, not really. I don't want to talk about it."
Dec said flatly, avoided concerning look from Ant.

"Oh okay..." Ant looked over at Dec who now had his hand in pocket and looked at the ground.

They walked in silence and the air between was uncomfortable one. It had never happened before between them until today. The thing between them was always happy and cheerful but this was tense. 5 minutes later they almost arrived at Ant's

"Okay Dec, come on! What's wrong?" Ant asked frustratedly pulling Dec to stop walking away.

"You want to know what's wrong?!" Dec yelled but stopped and calmed himself down. There was no point of yelling at Ant when it wasn't his fault that Ant chose someone else.

"It's hurt, a little bit disappoint that you don't know I'm still in love with you and you chose someone else before me...."
"I thought I was the first person on your list you know" Dec jokily and painfully added, trying to lift up the mood a bit.

"But at least you still think of me as your 'best big bro', right? I'm okay with that but..." He stopped himself I wish I could be more

"But what?"
"Never mind. I hope everything between us is fine. And uh-uhm you still can talk to me about everything even though it's about your boyfriend, all right?"

"Thanks but the thing is I don't want you to be me 'best big bro' anymore, I can't" Ant said looking at Dec sadly.