Restless

Chapter 2

Yes I know 18 year old or 20 year old Dan's hair *cringes* is just something we don't mention so just picture now them. Ya feel.

!Trigger warning!
Please don't read past Phil's pov if you aren't okay with any of self harming or bullying.

[Phil]

You know how there's that one person you want to talk to but have no Idea what to say or do.

Yeah I have that problem now.

And it's been 2 years. And I still can't say one word to this boy.

[Dan]

Day 2 with out a new video.

I know, I should just watch the old videos but I've watched them so many times that I know every joke that each video has.

I get up for my bed, throwing on a black jumper and black jeans. I turn on my speakers, the first song being Muse's Follow Me.

I pick up my phone aimlessly scrolling through social media. The first thing I see is messages. Multiple ones. Its the same thing all the time. But this time it's something I've never seen someone send me.

' You're a waste of space. Just kill yourself already you fag.'

I lock my phone and toss it off my bed away from me. That one got to me big time. I feel tears start to roll down my cheeks. My eyes burning slightly, I wipe them away but more still come. I start to tug at my sleeve almost as an instinct to tell myself not to grab that all to familiar small piece of metal.

I hear my phone ding again as two more messages of the same kind pop up. I couldn't take the emotional pain.

(A/N: please if you are not okay with self harm don't read any further. Last chance. )

I walk into my bathroom rolling up my sleeves. I look at the some what vanishing scars already up my right forearm. I feel more tears fall as I open the cabinet and reach in the back for a small container. I pull out a small, sharp piece of metal. The only thing that rids me of the emotional pain I always carry.

I slide down the closed door to my bathroom, bringing the cold metal to my forearm dragging it across my arm multiple times. Blood instantly rushing to the surface, trickling down my arm.

I let my tears fall fast down my face, quiet sobs escaping my lips. My breathing becoming ridged. I feel my chest tighten and my tears falling harder than before. My head pounding, my eyes burning as my panic attack takes it's course. I drag the blade across a few more times before I feel myself start to clam down.

I put the blade back to it's original spot, I grab some cotton and gauze to bandage up my arm. I wipe up the blood and poor some peroxide onto it to stop any infection. I finish by bandaging up my arm, rolling down my sleeves and wipping away the rest of my tears, gathering my composure in case my mom comes into my room.

I take a deep breath, exiting my bathroom, turning up my music, Muse blasting through the speakers. I lay down as my mini break down had tired me out and I fall asleep listening to the music that is drowning out my thoughts and the world.

.............................................

Quite a short chapter, about 560 words. Give or take. Idk. But I want everyone to know that if you are struggling with self harm please tell an adult or someone you trust so you can get help. I love you all.

All the love. Xx.