Leis Larsson (boyxboy)

Chapter 8: Forgiven

I slinked into the back pew, the farthest from anyone. The priest up front was wearing his holy garb and preaching in a voice that echoed the wide, hallow halls of God's house on Earth. I felt odd being here. But after last night it was the first place that called to me. I needed to be here. I needed guidance.

 'And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. '

The had priest quoted Luke Chapter 23 verse 33. It was one of those verses I'd heard my entire life. I mouthed it with him as he spoke. And when he was finished he paused and looked to his congregation.

'Surely,' he exclaimed, his voice swept the hall, echoed against the statues of The Virgin Mary and all the beautiful paintings against the curved walls and the painted glass windows. 'Surely if our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ can have begged his Father forgive the very men that nailed him to the cross, then we can find it in ourselves to forgive those in our lives who trespass our trust. Jesus Christ is our model for forgiveness. And we cannot call ourselves Christians until we look into ourselves and remember that we must call for forgiveness from God unto all those unfortunate souls that have lost their way. -Mark 11:25  And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.... So you see? Our Lord in heaven asks one thing of us. To forgive those that have betrayed and hurt you. Without this, how will He be able to forgive you'

My eyes were shut tight. I was trying hard to remain still and steady. I'd asked for guidance and guidance I'd received. God's hand had led me here, to this sermon where the priest preached what I needed to hear. Exactly what I needed to hear. But forgiveness could not possibly be that easy. How could I forgive Leis for hurting me? It shook me to the core when I remembered the pain in my legs and in my back, knowing how it had arisen burnt me deep.

'Be merciful,' I murmered. Tears ran down my face. Now I knew what to do, but that did not make doing it any easier.  'Even as your Father is merciful. Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.'

What I had memorised from this church some weeks ago gave me a little strength. I sat right there until the sermon was over and everyone filed out, or went about their business. A woman came up to me.

'Are you okay?' she asked. I nodded without looking up.

'Are you sure?' she persisted.

'Yes,' I answered hoarsely. 'I came for help, and I found it.'

She left me alone after that. After about fifty minutes I got up and walked out of the cathedral. I felt less alone, less tired and less afraid. Now that I'd figured this out all I wanted was to be in Hammy's arms. I missed him desperately. But I knew I had to get home first. There was no use in getting evermore emotional over nothing. Not yet anyway. I'd talk to him on Monday. Then we could patch things up.

When I walked through the front door of my mother's apartment, she spotted me immediately.

'Oh, there you are sweetie,' she chirped. She was so cheerful a smile instantly sprang up on my face through no forewarning. 'Oh darling what's wrong?' her face dropped, as did mine.

'Nothing.' I murmered. 'Hammy and I kind of got into a fight.'

Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. 'Did he hurt you?' she asked with a frail mix of concern and anger.

'No,' I frowned. 'We just argued. It's okay. I'll talk to him on Monday and say I'm sorry. We'll be fine mom, you'll see.'

'Okay,' she moved over and hugged me, then looked into my eyes. 'Do you wanna talk about it?'