[Levi / Eren] Perspective

Chapter Two.

Eren's POV.

I'd be lying if I said Captain Levi wasn't strange. But I'd also be lying if I denied having feelings for him. Crazy, right? I'm only fifteen and he's twice that and four years... but I still feel I want to be with him. Ah... what the hell is wrong with me? I'm a titan-shifter, my friends are either obsessive or coconuts, my mom was eaten by the things I hate most, and now I support someone nineteen years older than me absolutely hitting on me -- and other things if I was lucky. The strangest thing is, though, he just randomly hugged me the other day. I don't know why. I mean... did he somehow know that I cried in front of Hange when we met that day? And that I was still upset over it? And then when he attempted making a joke it made my heart flutter, and I completely forgot what was bothering me? And when his arms were around me... I just... felt... safe.  Not That I should ever understand what that feels like.  Maybe it was just the "Humanity's Strongest" role that rubbed off on me in that moment. But I don't think so.  Of course I've admired him my entire life, but... I would know the difference between building a fence and finishing the paint on it, if that makes sense. I'm a confusing human. Part-human. Titan? Thing. I'm a confusing thing.  Maybe the only reason I found he was hugging me was he felt bad for me. I doubt he ever really feels bad for anyone but fallen soldiers and his comrades, though. But still.

So, explain why he continues to sit next to Armin, Me, and Mikasa. It's almost like he's trying  to embarrass me. Is that... is that what he's doing?  Anyway, he asked Armin a lot of questions about me when he and the squad leaders -- he didn't believe me when I said they'd want his input, hah, Armin -- and Commander Erwin met the other day. And not just questions like, "Is he sick?" Or, "How is he?" He asked personal  questions. Nothing -- of what Armin told me  -- was too  bad. In fact it was almost strange how subtle they were. He asked about favorite colors, foods, etc., and even where I wanted to go when the titans are gone, and why I wanted to go so badly. W-Why would he ask those kinds of things? It's not like he... actually wants to know...

right?

Two weeks after Captain hugged me and I'm still blushing about it. Apparently the entirety of the squad saw it. Which means scary scarf-sister found out about it.  See, she doesn't know about anything I feel for Levi. Honestly it's strange how obsessive she is over me yet cares seemingly not about my feelings. Really, she doesn't know anything about me. I love her and all but sometimes she needs to take a step back and re-evaluate where she stands. She's my sister, not my-... never mind. Still, she's only my sister. She can't make decisions for me.

So when she told Captain Levi to "Leave-i Eren the hell alone," at our table, -- Levi started letting me sit with him, Hange, and Erwin some, even Armin and Mikasa sometimes -- I nearly had a heart attack. But Levi had no reaction. He just up and left.

Sometimes everything just makes me want to crawl into a hole.

Or maybe it's just Mikasa and titans, at times. I haven't decided. Either way, it's a pain in the ass -- not more than Jean, though. Seriously, will he ever stop teasing me about it? He literally makes kissing-noises every time he sees me. And once, I mean literally in front of Captain Levi,  he made a fake scene out. "Oh, Levi,"  he said, in a longing sort of tone, "oh Levi please! Please just kiss me!"  I had to leave. I mean, actually had to. Armin and Mikasa had to drag me out. I was about to kill the horse-man. But that doesn't even begin to compare to what happened yesterday. God this is still killing me. I can't be in the same room as him anymore, and even Captain is aware of this. Levi and I were talking about- god I can't remember, I think it was Hange. Oh well, whatever. Levi and I were talking about whatever and Jean passed by, mid-sentence on my end, and leaned me over and just started kissing me. And I don't mean just any kiss. It's messed up though because that honestly was my first kiss, and I feel like he did that just to mess with my feelings, so Levi couldn't be my first if that happened. And it's kind of bad that I sort of started returning it after a moment. But he dropped me. Yep. Dropped me right onto the ground. Intentionally. I can't remember if Levi was there or not afterwards, he probably left, but I turned on my side and covered my face and just up and started crying and curled up into a ball. It was silent, thankfully. God I hate Jean.

But the worst part of all is that I can't even talk to Captain anymore without blushing or stuttering or feeling weak or just being irresponsive because I'm too anxious or quiet to actually say anything. And it's been this way ever since he hugged me. Why the hell does this only happen to me?  It isn't fair!

I'm going to his office today because I have to apologize for the lost conversation yesterday -- though I was barely keeping up with it -- so my world has gone to Hell.

Well, I'm in his office. I've apologized already, he just said to stay in here so I am. He's doing paperwork, mumbling things here and there. He's honestly cute when he's frustrated and confused about his paperwork. Wait what. Did I just call a thirty-four year old man who is supposed to be Humanity's Strongest Soldier, "cute?"  Why, god, why. Well while he mumbles, he hasn't uttered a word to me since he told me it was alright -- about Jean -- and that he's going to keep us separated so I don't, and quote in his own words, "rip him limb by limb." Good decision.

I've been in here for an hour or two, and I'm starting to get kind of sleepy. I wonder what he's having me stay in here for. He still hasn't said a word to me-

"Eren." First word today.

"Yes?"

"Can you come here for a sec?"

"Uh, yeah, hold on." I got up from the couch and went over to his desk.

"Can you read this? My eyes are starting to hurt, and reading things that tiny is just a strain. I really need Hange to fix my glasses."

"Sure?" He pointed to something on the paper, that I could just barely see. I leaned just a little bit  closer so I could see. Narrowing my eyes, I read, "K." Captain pointed to something else. "I." He continued pointing to things until eventually he pointed to a small dot on the paper which I assumed was a period.

"Repeat what you read."

"K-I-S-S-M-E."

"What does that spell in a sentence?"

"Kiss me-?"

"Gladly." He pulled me down slightly as he leaned up and pressed our lips together, almost the same way Jean had, but with much more kindness. The turning point in it all was when he pulled away and went around his desk just to lay me on my back on it, and get in between my legs, then lean down and continue kissing me. Slowly,  I realized my arms were around his neck, and my eyes were closed. One of his arms was at my side, keeping him up some, while the other was on the back of my neck, fingers toying with my hair -- which I had to admit, was very fun to play with, even Jean has said so. And then it registered...

I was being kissed by Levi Ackerman.