BLISS

Pure bliss

Pure bliss ~ Olivia Clarke

Leanne: Dear mom, Dad and my Baby sister. My apology will clearly have no effect on you now, you're most likely angry at me and I understand. Your troubled daughter never listened, never tried hard enough and certainly never told you everything so how could you of helped to your full potential, but you did. Of course you did, you tried so hard and I thank you more than anything but the truth is that I listened so hard, so desperately hard that I noticed the doctors just repeated themselves, telling me to do the same thing over and over. I did try, I tried so much that the frustration that no solution seemed good enough became unbearable; I felt I had been trapped. But a solution did pop into my head, and the thought of it caused relief so strong my eyes fluttered for sure. And I didn't tell you everything, because I dint want to hurt you. You can't ask me why I've done it and that's probably why you're angry, forgive me please, for one of the many reasons I'm doing it is because it'll make me happy, im sorry im gone, I know you love me. I love you all too. Remember me as the happy, bubbly child I once was because she died shortly after that anyway, she deserves to be remembered. Not me. No this girl.
(Pause)
And then I just finished with a few things I wanted to tell them... and more I love you's.
Harry: how did you know all that off by heart?
Leanne: I wrote it a few times (Pause) the words um stuck a bit.
Harry: I can't really remember what I wrote (pause) I guess I just said goodbye.
(Silence)
Harry: mom, im so sorry. I can't think of much to say except that. I know im leaving you on your own and that will be the hardest part of it, but im not dad. Im not leaving to spite you I promise, you were a good mom and I think you'll even do better without me. Get that teaching job you've dreamed of, don't hoard all my things like did dads and don't mourn too long. I don't want to be me anymore and it became too hard to deal with being me, this I what will make me happy. Im sorry this is short, I can't think of anything. I love you, mom.
Goodbye. Love Harry.
(Pause)
Leanne: I don't believe that you don't remember. You must have said more than just goodbye?
Harry: no I think that was pretty much it.
Leanne: you're lying.
Harry: how is it your business anyway?
Leanne: (obviously huffs) because I see that you're on the top of the same building I am and we're both ready to jump.
Harry: (scoffs) we're not ready.
Leanne: aren't we?
Harry: if we are why haven't we done it already? Why haven't we jumped?
(Pause)
Leanne: I don't know.
Harry: exactly.
Leanne: why haven't we then?
Harry: I don't know.
Leanne: im ready.
Harry: jump then.
Leanne: why are you so horrible?
Harry: horrible? Do you think im here to save you? No im bloody ready to jump off and let the pavement finish me off. (Scoffs) little girl im not going to save you so if you're ready to jump then jump, I don't care.
(Pause)
Leanne: im sorry.
Harry: go home.
Leanne: what?
Harry: you're not going to jump now you're shivering and it's going to rain. Go home before your mom reads the letter and bloody appreciate what you most likely have, I know you probably have it because otherwise you wouldn't be so damn hesitant.
Leanne: hesitant?
Harry: be truthful to yourself you silly girl.
Leanne: don't call me a silly girl! You haven't jumped either!
(Pause)
Harry: no.
Leanne: no?
Harry: no I haven't jumped.
Leanne: (pause) why?
Harry: I-I forgot to say something in my letter.
(Pause)
Harry: and I can't stop thinking about it.
Leanne: oh. I thought you only said goodbye?
Harry: I did, among other things.
Leanne: like what?
Harry: none of your business!
Leanne: im sorry.
(Pause)
Harry: I forgot to say goodbye to my dog, I even petted him as I left and I still forgot to mention him.
(Silence)
Leanne: um, don't worry. You're dog knows you love him, you said a personal goodbye.
Harry: (scoffs) I don't even know your name.
Leanne: Leanne.
Harry: Leanne what?
Leanne: Percy.
(Harry laughs)
Harry: Percy?
Leanne: you're kidding; you choose now to make fun of my unfortunate last name?
Harry: it's not unfortunate, I like it.
(Silence)
Leanne: well what about you?
Harry: what about me?
Leanne: you're name?
Harry: Jack Evans.
Leanne: Jack, why do you want to die?
(Police care sirens)
Leanne: oh god, are they for us?!
(Pause, police car fades)
Harry: No, but the next one might be.
Leanne: Jack, im scared.
Harry: (laughs) of course im the only person around, possible the last person you'll see so you're now going to vomit out all your fears and say ridiculous things.
Leanne: (quietly) you really are vile aren't you?
Harry: im a dead man, why not be vile.
Leanne: you didn't answer my question.
Harry: who doesn't secretly want to die?
Leanne: happy people.
Harry: (scoffs) no one is happy, Leanne. Everyone has thoughts about the relief and bliss that death could bring, no one has the balls to go through with it though.
Leanne: so you're proud of yourself?
Harry: what?
Leanne: you've got the balls to go through with it?
Harry: clearly not at the moment.
Leanne: but you're proud, you lifted your chin like you were some hero about killing yourself.
Harry: im not proud.
Leanne: I think you should be ashamed, im ashamed.
Harry: I don't care.
Leanne: why?
Harry: because im only leaving my mum behind.
(Pause)
Leanne: alone?
Harry: and the dog.
Leanne: why do you think we both chose tonight?
Harry: I don't know. Why are you asking so many questions?
Leanne: because you're a liar.
(Pause)
Leanne: I wanted to be a journalist when I was older. But not the boring kind, the kind that could get anything out of anyone.
Harry: so the manipulative kind? (Small laugh)
(Pause)
Leanne: I suppose.
(Silence.)
Harry: Leanne, you're not going to be a journalist anymore. You're not going to be anything, you won't have children, a home of your own or a husband. You won't be alive. Not if you jump.
Leanne: H-how could you say that? You won't have any of that either.
Harry: I know but you don't. You want all of that clearly, you're young. You need to go home.
Leanne: why don't you go home too?
Harry: the difference is im fine being dead; I have no ambitions like you.
Leanne: (scoffs) I've had depression since I was 14, my ambitions are the only thing that's kept me going but now I see they're just pointless. A home and a family is nothing when you can't appreciate it all because you're too damaged to. Im better off dead.
Harry: depression?
Leanne: yes.
(Pause)
Harry: my dad had depression, he drank and then he move away. Left me and my mother, then 3 years later we get a phone call saying we are invited to see him. Turns out he got himself together, got a new house, a new wife and lots of money. (He scoffs) all while my mother was selling the car for dog food.
Leanne: is that your way of telling me it can get better?
Harry: it is actually.
Leanne: I'd rather not be happy at the expense of others.
Harry: then don't be. Sit back, Leanne. Watch how things play out, see things clearer. Don't give up, don't be a coward.
(Pause)
(Police car sirens)
Leanne: (panicked) jack... don't jump.
Harry: what? Coming from a girl who wanted to die 5 seconds ago!?
(Police sirens get louder)
Harry: they're for us.
Leanne: I was going to jump off this building. I was going to but you kept saying things I want, I want a family and a future, don't you?!
(Silence, police car tannoy)
Police man: young man, please step away from the ledge! You don't want to do this, son!
Leanne: listen, Jack. Depression made me hard and distant but nothing has warmed or motivated my heart until now, you're good jack. Please come down with me, think about what you're going to do some more.
Police man: Harry parker right?! Son, your mother is very worried. You need to come down.
Leanne: Harry? Jack do they think you're someone else?
Harry: Im sorry Leanne. You almost convinced me, but some people are just not meant to be around.
Leanne: no, jack ple-
Harry: don't come near me, become a journalist and have the most amazing life for both of us. Sit back and watch, Leanne. See things clearer, don't be a coward. You're going to be okay.
Leanne: you're not actually going to jump, please jack – NO!!
(Sounds of shocked people on the ground)
(Silence)
(Over the top radio presenter comes on the radio)
Presenter: good morning ladies and gentleman, it is the 10th of December which means ten lords are leaping today! It is 9 minutes past 9 and the weather is going to be very chilly this morning. To start off our day a little Christmas music!
(I'll be home for Christmas by Michael Buble starts playing then becomes background music as the doorbell rings.)
(Sound of door opening)
Police man: ah hello, Leanne is it?
Leanne: yes that's me.
Police man: we thought we would come by and speak to since the night of Harry's death as you asked so many questions. Would you like to talk?
Leanne: oh um- yes okay, yes please. Come in.
Police man: so I thought I'd just go through the basics. His name was Harry Parker; he was 18, he-
Leanne: he was only a year older than me. But he said his name was Jack Evans, why would he do that?!
(Pause)
Police man: Jack Evans was the name of his dog.
(Leanne laughs)
Leanne: of course it was. (Pause) he never really answered my question. Why did he do it?
Police man: he had no history of depression or any other mental illness, his family history wasn't good but wasn't terrible. We've found no reliable reason for him to do this. But I guess (pause) some people are just not meant to be around and they feel they are one of them.
Leanne: yes...
Police man: well if that's all I think I'll be off.
Leanne: thank you for telling me, im surprised you're able to tell me.
Police man: his mother allowed me to tell you the information; she said you'd be curious and that it would be awful to be kept in the dark after such an experience.
Leanne: oh. Yes I suppose. I'll have to speak to her soon. Goodbye, have a safe journey.
Police man: thank you.
(Door shuts)
Leanne: mom?!
Mother: yes? (Shouting from a distance)
Leanne: I think going to go for a walk.
Mother: oh but wait let me hug you. (Pause) Im so glad you're safe Leanne; I don't know how you found yourself on that building but im just glad you're okay.
Leanne: I know mum. (Pause) I don't how I did either.
(The cheerful Christmas song gets louder for a few seconds then fades out. The End.)