Not The Lucky Ones

I.

You know that moment after you just cry all you can.

That moment where your throat hurts from screaming and your nose is running and tears have completely covered your entire face. When you look through your eyes and everything looks like a complete blur through the tears.

That moment where you just sit because the crying had worn you out. Where you think you possibly cant cry anymore because you might dye of dehydration due to the salt water ocean that you have just cried.

They say that eyes are the window to your soul. Well then my soul is full of pain because instead of using my eyes to admire the things I love, instead I most often shut them to shield myself from things that cause me pain. I cannot tell you exactly how it feels when you think you are done crying but then another wave decides to emerge and come crashing at you harder and affecting you more deeply than the previous. Its like life's slap in the face.

There are many things that happen to people. Bad things that happen to good people. There are the lucky ones who do not have to worry about feeling this cold empty feeling in the pit of their stomach after they have let out their emotions. They have a strong caring mom who makes sure they have the best of everything and a dad who is there to provide humor and constant love and protection to the whole family.

In short, they have everything I want.
To be happy.

They are the lucky ones
And me?
Well, I am not.