The Monster Is In My Head

•Chapter 3•

Raven.

Raven heard her name called by a voice she couldn't place a name to, although it was very familiar.

Raven.

There it was again. Who could be calling her? Was it the monster again? No, Raven thought, The monster isn't real. It was an illusion. It was sleep deprivation.

"Raven!"

Jolted from her- thankfully- dreamless slumber, she sat up. "Good lord child... You look awful..." Raven's mother said, laying a cool hand against Raven's forehead.

"I-I'm just tired, mum... I haven't been sleeping much lately," Raven mumbled, stretching her arms.

"I see... Now what happened earlier? Mrs. Daffick said you were running like you were about to be killed or something," her mother said, her face worried.

"I heard a loud noise in the kitchen. I panicked and ran out. I guess I thought it was a gunshot or something. It was probably nothing," Raven replied, deciding to stick to the story she told her neighbor.

Why am I so calm about this? Raven wondered. She could be insane after all. She was surprised she didn't break down and scream out everything that she had seen. Raven was never really a liar, never a good one either. But for some reason, she was able to tell this lie like it was the truth.

Why? No matter how many times she ran it through her head, she couldn't figure out why she was able to tell a lie so well.

"Well... Dinner will be ready in a hour. Your father will be late tonight, he got tied up at work again," her mother said. Raven nodded and curled up under the blanket again.

Her mother walked out, quietly shutting the door.

Finally.

The monster.

Paling, Raven sat up. "Wh-why are you still here?!" She squeaked.

Oh Raven, poor, poor Raven. I told you that I can't leave. Don't you remember our conversation in the bathroom? We are one in the same.

"N-no!" Raven yelped. She scrambled up and dashed to the bathroom, eyes wide in fear. She looked in the mirror- expecting to see the monster again- but this time only saw herself.

I won't appear all the time, you know. I just pop up when I want, the monster mused.

"Wh-what do you want from me?" Raven whispered, shaking. She crossed her arms, as if to hug herself.

Raven was a mess. She didn't know why this was happeneing, and if the monster was the one making her feel all of this. Her emotions felt like they had been multiplied by ten thousand, like she was feeling things she never felt before. Raven had never been so terrified.

I just want to see you break, Raven. I want to see your lifeless body on the ground, surrounded by the blood of the ones you love.

The color drained from Raven's face, her eyes widening in horror. "NO!" She screamed, bolting out of the room as the monster appeared in the mirror.

"Raven?!" Raven's mother called out from downstairs, "Are you alright?!"

"I-I'm fine mum! J-just lost a game!" Raven lied, her voice shaking.

"Alright... Just don't be so loud!" Her mum yelled. Raven didn't reply. Instead she sat down at her desk, opening her computer.

She typed in the password, '1234'. It was simple and easy to remember. She had put a lock on the most important things on her computer, not wanting anyone to find her writings and drawings. Raven had a locked drawer on her bedside table to keep her drawings hidden from the world.

Raven took to the Internet, searching every little thing she could think of. She even took a quiz to determine whether she was insane- which she wasn't.

You won't find any answers on there, Raven, the monster said, sounding bored.

Closing her eyes, Raven took a shaky breath. "I want you out of my head. Get out. Now," Raven growled as threateningly as she could. Of course, there was nothing she could do to hurt the monster that was inside her head. What would she do, cut her own head off?

There was no pinning this on sleep deprivation now. She had gotten a solid 3 hour nap, and she felt rested.

I am not leaving, Ravenna. Not until I get what I want, the monster hissed.

Growling, Raven stood and grabbed her phone. She brought up Seth's number- about to text him everything.

No, what am I doing?! He's going to think I'm insane! Raven scolded herself. She threw the phone back on the bed and closed her eyes. She lay down on her bed, groaning.

Maybe you should go to the kitchen. There's lots of sharp things there, the monster said. Raven could almost hear the smile in its voice.

Rolling her eyes, Raven turned on her phone again and began blasting music on her Bose speaker. Raven sang along.

"They send me away to find them a fortune
A chest filled with diamonds and gold
The house was awake
With shadows and monsters
The hallways they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed 'til the morning
I'm crying, "They're coming for me"
And I tried to hold these secrets inside me
My mind's like a deadly disease

I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
Goddamn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?

I paced around for hours, on empty
I jumped at the slightest of sounds
And I couldn't stand the person inside me
I turned all the mirrors around

I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
Goddamn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?

I'm well acquainted
With villains that live in my bed
They beg me to write them
So they'll never die when I'm dead

And I've grown familiar
With villains that live in my head
They beg me to write them
So I'll never die when I'm dead

I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
Goddamn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?

And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
Goddamn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?" Raven's powerful voice sang. She definitely didn't have the best voice in the world, but it certainly wasn't hard on the ears.

Don't get too excited, Raven, the monster said, irritated, I WILL get control. It's just a matter of the right time.

Raven ignored the monster, instead letting the next song play.

Just you wait.