It was Sunday, and the knot in my stomach started to get tighter and tighter as I thought about tomorrow. The first day of my Senoir Year in Palm Valley High School. Wow, where has the time gone? I still haven't talked to my brother, Harry as he is too busy getting ready for football. I mean, he has been in the popular group since Freshman year. Even when I sat alone in the cafiteria at lunch, he would pass by me and acted like he didn't know me. I really am a loser after all. Surprisingly, I am looking forward to this year. I can't believe I'm saying this. I just can't wait untill that day when we wear our cap and gown, recive our deplomas, and move on to bigger and better things. I can't wait to start on my future. I want to be an expert at English, maybe even write a book some day. But I have to take one step at a time before I can do anything. I never opened up to anybody about this, (hint: I have nobody to open up to), but I'm always scared about the students. Why are they so mean to me? Is there something wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Why am I like this? I just don't understand. I just want school to be just me, alone, and teachers, and focus on my work, but that can't happen because that's what school is.
School |skool| noun - an institution for educating a group of children
Yeah, that's right. A group of children. I know what you're thinking: why can't you be homeschooled? Well, I tried asking my parents and they have been saying the same thing since 6th grade. "We want you to be outgoing and have friends. Marcel, you can't be lonely forever. Please, your education is great, perfect as it is actually, just be yourself."
"Whatever." Was all I could say and think about. I even begged them about it. But coming to a compromise, it just wasn't worth it anyways. I always find myself alone at home. I feel like I am never social and I try to be active, but it just doesn't come out. The only time I only go downstairs is when my parents need me to do something or I'm going to eat. I barely even went out this summer. For one, my parents won't let me go anywhere, for two, I don't have anyone to hang out with. Well, I guess I can with Joey, but he's never up to it or is always busy.
All these thoughs were running through my mind as I layed on my bed, on top of my sheets. I rubbed my eyes, put on my glasses and looked at my alarm clock that read 9:00 AM. I am more of a morning person than a night person. I like waking up earlier then I need to, and staying in my room, possibly reading books. But of course, my brother is the opposite. Goes to sleep past midnight, maybe even longer, and then wakes up around noon. It's going to be hilarious when he wakes up late for school having to rush in the morning! I'm surely not going to be the one to wake him. I don't want to. I mean, I would, but, I guess I'm scared. I'm confused on what I feel about my brother.
Anyways, I decided to get up and go down for breakfast. I couldn't believe my eyes when I entered the kitchen. HARRY? Awake and dressed? I thought it was my dad at first but then he turned around to see me looking at him in a confused face. He looked away, acting like he didn't see me of course.
I sighed, and my mom noticed right away. "Good morning! Marcel, whats wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm okay!" I said with a smile on my face.
"That's good, honey. What would you like for breakfast?" I could hear Harry giggle and mumble in the corner of the kitchen toasting some bread. "What's that Harry?"
"Noth-ing Mom." He said, inhaling from his laughter.
I glanced over my shoulder to dog Harry.
He walked over to me and whispered in my ear, "Do you have a problem, Momma's Boy?" He said to me, facing me.
I was going to say something, I would've, but something inside me was telling me I shouldn't. Then he walked away.
"Excuse me?!" I tried catching the words from my mouth to not escape. Shit, I mean, shoot. I can't believe I said that.
He started walking over to me with a deadly stare, clenching his fist, but then glanced over to my mom cooking my eggs, and stopped walking. He came up to the side of my head again, "Not here."
I didn't really understand what he was trying to tell me and I guess I let that slip over my head. I can't believe nothing happened after I stood up to my brother like that. Did this really happen? My mom didn't really do anything either. I guess my brother didn't want to hurt me like he was going to I guess, because my mom was there. I don't know.
We all sat down to eat, except for my dad. He's still sleeping. I mean, I wouldn't blame him. He's a guard at the local bar down the street that works night shifts every night. I think he comes home around 3am every day. He sleeps a lot during the day and then wakes up to go back to the bar. He has to work hard and I'm proud that he does. It sucks how I barely see him. My mom can't go to work because she has a heart problem and the doctor suggests that she doesn't do anything, even work. I'm not sure why though, maybe its because it's really bad. I don't know. I don't know a lot of things.
Anyways, we were all sitting down and my brother sat across from me. It was pretty quiet and my mom obviously wanted to start a conversation. "So, are you boys ready to start your senior year?"
I looked at Harry as he took a bite of his bread. "Sure. I just can't wait 'till I get out of here and get my scholarship already." He sounded really demanding and way too confident.
"Oh," was all my Mom said. Then she turned to me and said, "What about you, Marcel?"
Then my brother cut me off, "Yeah, how about you Mar-cey?" He had a smile on his face. The daring smile, the teasing kind.That smile scared me.
I looked at my brother, trying to be mature, then looked at my mom, "Yeah, of course." I lied.
"Well, thats good! You boys better keep up the grades this year." My mom stated. I already new that was going to be false. My brother never keeps up his grades. He starts the year great, but then he gets too sunken into football, music, girls, and he doesn't care about his academics. I do, though.
Harry finished his two slices of bread and stood up, "Mom can I use the car?", please I said to myself, correcting him from not using his manners.
"For what Harry?"
"I just need the car, Mom." There he goes again being demanding.
I looked at my mom as she looked at me. I had a worried expression on my face which was telling her not to do it. I was hoping that she was going to understand what I was trying to show, but I guess she wasn't.
"Um, okay." She said. I dropped my shoulders in disbelief.
Harry snatched the keys and slammed the front door behind him.
"Mom, what was that?" I wasn't trying to be rude to her, I was just asking.
"Marcel, it's okay. Just let him go."
I rolled my eyes a little, "Thanks for breakfast Mom." and hustled up to my room.
I opened the door to my room and walked towards my shelf that's full with my favorite books. I grab the newest book that I bought a couple days ago, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's about this boy name Charlie that writes in his journal. Some of his entries are pretty relatable to me. I was lost into the book until I my phone went off revealing Harry's contact on my screen.
"Hello?" I questioned.
"Don't tell mom where I am okay? I'm going out tonight and won't be able to come back later."
"Where are you going?" I asked curiosity getting the best of me.
"Why does it fucking matter?" He snapped.
"I-I was just asking..." I said a little hurt from his words.
"Well do not tell mom or else."
"Ok-" He cut me off by hanging up.
Why would he even call me? I don't even talk to mom about anything. He never calls me for these kind of stuff. I think that was the first time he ever called me. Whatever he's doing tonight must be serious to him. It kinda worries me. What am I even talking about? Harry is a jerk. I shouldn't worry about him if he never worries about me. All he cares about is himself. If something happens to him tonight then he deserves it.
