Reading/Editing Requests

Resurrection by RVLP

Title: Resurrection

Author: ultivert

Genre: Science Fiction (Cyberpunk)

Status: Chapter 1-7

Blurb: 

Can we really run away from ourselves? They think they can. Damon Fox (the freedom fighter), formerly the second in command of the Shadow Runners and leader of one of its cells 'Valkyrie Squad", has been running for the last five years, leaving no physical and cyber trace in wherever he goes. He one day gets apprehended by townsfolk due to a petty dispute with a shopkeeper, and is thrown in a secluded prison in the middle of nowhere. Unbeknownst to his captives who do not know his true identity, the Shadow Runners send Kassiel to get Damon back in the fold. Ethan King (the golden kid) is the youngest senior detective in Baker Street history, solving his first murder at the age of fifteen. He has quickly climbed the ranks of the law with a cocky flamboyant attitude to match. Belonging to a poor family that appreciated the simple things in life until the day Ethan's father joined the Space father forces in the fight against the rebellion. His mother would soon receive a letter that would shake their lives. It was the last letter about his father. Soon after, the Plague hit the streets of London and despite the best efforts of the UTF, it was not combatted enough to prevent the death of Ethan's mother. He joined the Police Academy the day his mother passed and despite his age, proved to be an intellectual match to anybody in the academy. Bree (the forgotten one), getting her name from a necklace with the same letters, travels with a companion named Ken, a color blind former subject of the Sidius Initiative who seems to always be a step ahead of every obstacle they have encountered. Bree has suffered long term amnesia from causes unknown and she often wonders who she really is. She is able to do a multitude of things by relying on only her instincts that she believes had been developed extensively before she lost her memory.

All I'm gonna say is...*mindblown* :)

As requested here is your full review, sorry it took so long! \(>.<)/ I just realized this has been saved as a draft and I always thought I published it!  smh.

Your writing is smooth, and flows well, but the plot is slightly confusing in the beginning.  You may want to slow down and clear it up a little.  Your story has a lot of details, and that can sometimes confuse the reader.  The trick is to find the balance between the amount of details.  Without them, a story moves to fast, with too many, they can contradict.  Really, that's all I think you need to work on.  But otherwise, it's dramatic, surprising, action-packed, suspenseful and overall, amazing.  The descriptions are so on point, and invoking, I could literally see the images in my mind!   The book does a great job hooking readers in, and by the 3rd or 4th chapter, the characters and plot is intriguing enough to make the reader continue to satisfy their curiosity.   Also, Ethan King is like my spirit animal, so... ;)