Life and Death Choices.

The not so Golden Gate.

I opened my eyes and there was a bright light. I blinked a few time to let my eyes adjust to the light. I realized I was standing in a line. All types of people were there. Old men and woman, young children, and everyone else in between. We were all in a white room. No chairs. No windows. Just one door.

I reached to tap the womans shoulder in front of me. As soon and i touched her she turned around. She seemed to be at least 70. Maybe even 80.

I tried to ask her where the line was going but when I went to talk nothing came out. No sound. No words. Just air. She lookd at me with sad eyes. Like she knew what happened.

She put her hand on my shoulder. "Dont try to talk sweety. It wont work. You were gonna ask where you are werent you?" She said with a small smile.

I nodded my head yes. Still very confused as to where I was and why I couldnt speak.

"Hun. Your in heaven. Well this is the line to get into it any way."

I was shoked. How am I in heaven? Then i suddenly remembered everything. I had killed my self.

I know thats the most drastic move ever. But i really couldnt go on anymore. My mom died in child birth and my dad blamed me for it. I was always bullied, I cant remember a time I didn't come home from school without an injury, wheither it was emotional or physical. Then it all got worse when I told my dad I was gay. He started to hit me. Telling me its my fault my mom died and that being a "fag" was my fault to. He made me go to sessions at church to make me straight. It obviously didnt work.

I dont know why im in heaven though. The bible said that being gay and killing your self is a sin. So shouldnt I be in hell?

Suddenly I felt the air get colder behind me and a puff of smoke hit the back of my head. I turned to see what it was. All of a suden there was a old man standing behind me. He was dressed up nicely in a suit. He looked at me and smiled. So I smiled back.

I turned back around and looked twords the door everyone was waiting to get into. Slowly the line started to move foward. People would pop up at the end of the line sparaticly and in all types of clothing. One man was in Chicago police uniform with bullets sprayed all over his vest. Thankfully there were no wonds. I guess that was a perk of bing dead. No blood.

I was finally at the begining of the line. The woman in front of me had just walked in.

There was a man standing in a nice white suit holding a clip board.

"You must be Theadite Black." The mad said in a soft but fem voice.

I simply nodded yes I am...was.

"Ah yes. You cant talk. Shame. I heard you had a beautiful singing voice."

I simply smiled at the man.

"On your paper work here it said your asigned angel is Sammy. She should be here any second. "

I simply smiled and waited. Soon a girl about my age aperied in front of me. She was and inch or so taller than me with long wavy blond hair. She was wearing a white dress that flowed down to about mid thigh. Her smile was radiant almost shining like a star.

"Hi Im Sammy, but you can call me Sam." She walked over to the other man and he handed her my paper work. She looked it over and as she got closer to the bottom she frowned. It was strange seeing such a beautiful girl so sad all of a sudden.

"Well then, Ms.Black you can follow me. "The girl started to walk into the door where the blinding light was coming from. I followed suit.

As i walked through the door I couldnt see a thing the light was to much. I just continued to walk till I finally bumped into something.

"Yeah sorry about the light. I dont know why the big guy likes it so much." Sam helped me up from the ground. Apparently I had fallen but when I landed it wasnt a hard hit. Almost like landing on a cloud. Sam reached her hand out and lifted me up off the ground. 

"The floors a bit squishy compared to down on earth. It shouldn't take long to get used to. So I'm gonna bring you to get new clothing and to get a board to write down what you would say. Then lastly to the viewing room. Is that all okay with you?" 

I smiled and gave her a thumbs up. I wanted to be happy now. After all this is what I wanted. I wanted to be up here. Here with the angels. We walked slowly from cloud to cloud and room to room. When we got to the clothing room I was expecting like a white dress or something but the room looked just like my closet. It had all my clothing from my closet back home. My flannel,band shirts, black ripped jeans, beanies, snapbacks, literally everything! Even my shoes! I looked over to Sam. She simply smiled at me.

"Just pick out what you would like. Ill wait till your done getting dressed." With that she turned around and left me to get dressed. 

I picked out one of my many Fall Out Boy shirts with a red flannel shirt over it, black jeans and my combat boots. Lastly I looked over at the full length mirror on the wall. My hair was a mess so I grabbed a brush and brought it through my hair. As I was brushing my hair I saw my neck. There was a long mark all around it, it was rope. I all of a sudden felt ashamed of my self wishing I could take it back. All of it. I wish i could go back home. To school. To Ben. Oh my god Ben. I rushed out to Sam. 

"Whoa there pretty lady whats the rush?" She put her hands on my shoulders and I automatically felt calmer. Like she knew all I was going through and went through it the same way I did.

"Come on lets go get you that board that way we can talk. Okay?"

I nodded. I felt all my anxiety go away all at once. I followed Sam again. I was slightly behind her as we walked this time. I finally got a good look at Sam. She was so gorgeous it was amazing. Everything about her was just so perfect. The way her hair bounced as she walked, the way her hips moved. Everything was just amazing. 

"Okay here is your writing board. Just hit this button to erase what you wrote." She handed me the board.

Why am I here?

"You um...you hung yourself." The light left from her eyes. Like she wished I had never done it. I hit the button.

What about my family?

"If you follow me to the viewing room I can show you. Its a bit of a walk though."

As we started walking I started to write out a new note for her. I handed her though board.

How did you become an angel? You don't look much older than me.

"That is a very good question. I was in my girlfriends car. She had just picked me up to go on a date. We were at a red light and it had just turned green. A drunk driver blew through his red light and hit my side of the car. My girlfriend made it out with a few broken ribs and a small head wound. The car that hit us killed me. The driver also died. Every day I wish I could go back and change it. But every day I go to the viewing room and see how happy Alex is now. At first she went through a very deep depression she almost killed herself. But now she's married. She has three kids. There beautiful. She even convinced her partner to name there only daughter after me."  She became silent after that you could see that Alex was the love of her life but she wasn't Alex's.

Im sorry I didn't mean to bring back hard memories.

"Its perfectly fine. Ive talked to the man who had hit us. We've made amends." She smiled. Like it was the best thing that had happened since she died. Like it was a gate way to connect to her past.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. Eventually we got to a big room that looked a lot like a movie theater. She sighed.

"This is going to be very hard. I will be here the whole time." She opened the door and I walked in. The screen was huge. All of a sudden the screen lit up. It was my life. My child hood all in a movie. How could I stand to relive everything?

Okay so this is my new story. Its kinda dark right now but I promise it gets better. Please like and comment! I really wanna know if you guys like this new story. Love you all.