Black Bow Tie ~ Phan Oneshot

I fix my black bow tie that matches with my newly bought suit and try to sort out my hair. My attraction to colour has gradually drifted away along with my lively spirit. Today's the day; the one I never hoped would come. As I walk out I'm confronted by two families sharing small talk and having joyful conversations. On the left, was Dan's family, his parents and brother shaking hands with other relatives that they probably forgot even existed. And on the right, his about-to-be wife's family, pretty much doing the same. At first, I was hesitant to attend their wedding, but I knew I had to. My stupid feelings would never reach the height of importance that Dan's feelings held; his happiness but significant to me.

Still the memories of three years ago burn clearly in my mind. The first time he told me he was actually dating her. Initially, I thought that the relationship would dissolve and turn into dust in a matter of months, but that was not the case. Dan proceeded to express how much he loved her to me, chipping at my heart after every single word uttered about her. I would've confessed my love for him, but he seemed so elated when with her, so I couldn't kill his beautiful smile. However, everything for me changed. Dan was out more nights, leaving me to get lost in my own muddles thoughts. Slowly but surely, the colours drained from my wardrobe like a dying light. The lively, playful t-shirts were shoved further and further into the corner and darker ones replace them. Although, no one seemed to notice, or perhaps they didn't even care.

After Dan told me he proposed, that's when my heart shattered in an instant. I forced a convincing grin, showing support at least for my best friend. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't happy for him? Suddenly, I was pulled from my trance and began to make my way into the church along with the crowd of emotional people. I sat down quite far away from the others, not wanting to let my miserable aura consume them.

Looking up at Dan standing at the front, I just realised how absolutely stunning he looked in his most likely expensive black and white suit. I wish it was me marrying him. But this isn't about me, it's about Dan being happy. The supposedly cheery music played as the bride strolled down the aisle. Dan's face lit up with a bright smile as he glanced at her. I inwardly sighed as I subtly wiped a tear of sadness from my dull eyes. The ceremony begins and drags on, until the question is asked.

"If anybody objects to this marriage speak now or forever hold your peace."

My whole body shakes as I resist the temptation of screaming until the church walls crumble to the floor about how much I love Dan.

'Think about his happiness, Phil. His wellbeing is much more important than yours, isn't it?'

It is. Before I explode into salting tears, the bride kisses Dan in a way I wish I could've.

'Stop, Phil! Why are you trying to separate them? You don't even deserve him, you're being creepy.'

Finally, the ceremony comes to a conclusion and the people start filing out, wiping their tears of proudness while I wipe mine of sadness. Now it's times for the after party. It feels as though my eyes have sunken in and are now dry around the edges as I watch the younger relatives on the dance floor. I bet Dan and his wife will have kids. I bet Dan will forget all about me while I wallow in my own self-pity for eternity.

Everyone is congratulating them both, exchanging hugs and proud pats on the shoulder. My head is currently pounding, but I guess that's what happens when you don't eat properly for a couple of days. Dan gracefully grabs his wife's hand and pulls her gently to the dance floor. The couple begin to romantically slow dance, moving beautifully in unison. They're meant for each other. Speaking of that, Dan is planning to move out of our apartment. It will be just me, walking the same corridor he used to. But this time I'm alone. I know Dan never liked to be left by himself in the flat for too long. He was afraid of the dark, afraid of the spirits and demons lurking from room to room. Well, so was I. But they're all living in my head now, so there's no more hiding. No more looking for comfort in other people. I feel like there's no one left. Suddenly, the room begins the twist and sway like a tornado of fused colours and feeling. Casually, I exit the room and begin sprinting down the hall, occasionally clumsily ramming into walls on the way. I slide down the wall of a cubicle floor until I made contact with the filthy floor. Oh well. My deadly pale face sinks into my hands as I release a river of built up emotion. I need Dan to be happy, that's all that matters anymore. He's all that matters.
(A/N so that's pretty much it, I wrote this a while ago so I'm not sure if I'm going to do a second part. It's a tad depressing and I don't know why I even wrote it, but I'm publishing it anyway.)