"I feel disgusting eating this."
I'll think this thought every now and then.
I realize now that is incorrect when it crosses my mind. 4 years ago my world evolved around my weight secretly. Cutting out pictures of models I wanted to be I'd sigh in pain. I'd count my calories like a job. I'd eat once a day pretending to have ate lunch. Endlessly consuming water. I'd sit soullessly in my room squalling silently hating my body. I had noone because I was alone most of the time. I was weak,losing weight,and becoming blank with my surroundings. The mirror a murderer in disguise made me cringe. I weighed myself three times a day till I just slumped to sleep so I could pretend the scale wasn't true.
After months of hating myself I realized I was tired of the agonizing depression. I wanted to love myself. I needed to become confident;even if that meant gaining weight. So eventually I gained the pounds back. I grew into my weight I made a rule to wake up and tell myself I'm beautiful every morning. Now I believe it. Your body is beautiful,your soul is at risk when you focus on something so insignificant 24/7 of your life. -ghouls of the my past
YOU ARE READING
Mandatory Effect
RandomTrue events that take/took place somewhere in my life. Lessons I've learned. Journal entries
