Blizzard Spirit

4- The Choice to Live

What did I do to deserve something like this? I said to myself over and over again in my head. I had to decide. I stopped my wailing and looked around me.

The trees were still wrestling in the wind, and blistering snow stung every inch of my face. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing as I felt sorry for myself. As I struggled to lift my legs from the knee-deep snow and continuously stumbled and fell on my face, I thought about my situation here. Our plane crashed during a blizzard, all we had to make a camp and survive was two ropes and a compass. I've never been through something this intense before in my life, I had to learn all I could from Benjie.

"Hey Benjie? How are you making that fire?" I noticed it as I stood up. The blaze illuminated the falling snow around him. He was crouched in an awfully awkward position under a pit of snow. "The hole helps cover the fire from the wind, these rocks I found are just used to keep the snow from melting. Hey, over there, there is a sharp rock, you can use that to hunt for lemmings." I stared at the weapon scared to move. "Umm, you mean like kill them?" I said deciding not to believe his crazy words. "Yes... now dig a hole in the snow like mine and take that shovel-like piece of bark, it should be hard as a rock from the freezing weather." My hands were shaking from the wind and cold. I could no longer feel the tip of my toes and nose, that frightened me. "Ok... do you want me to dig underground as well?" Benjie was having trouble with his fire, and he looked at me frustratingly,  "That's right you haven't ever been hunting with me." He groaned but stayed on his task. "So lemmings live underground, and if your lucky, you just might catch one as it runs across it's tunnel. Hunting is a good life skill to learn." I hesitated looking at the shovel but the thought of food enticed me. I shoveled down to the rock hard soil and could no longer hake a single dent. "The soil is frozen, I cant dig any deeper." I walked around trying to find any thing harder to dig with. I looked back to the plane wreckage and an idea popped in my head.

I ran to heat my body up a little bit more to the plane. I scavenged the scraps of metal until I found a suiting spade. Proud of myself I ran in confidence. 'I can do this!' I boasted in my head. When I displayed my findings to Benjie he laughed and praised me for my creativity. "Great! That type of thinking is important for situations like these." He said.

The permafrost, as Benjie called it, chipped away slightly with my strikes. The deeper I got, the easier it was, after a little while I felt a hollow sound. Excited, I built up a little bit more strength, and the soil loosened. I created a small opening which looked much like a tiny tunnel. I sat patiently waiting for a little lemming run by. After about an hour of sitting and no luck, I fell onto my back and took a deep satisfying breath. I got up and scavenged around the glittering forest for some type of food a little rodent would enjoy for bait. The trees were covered at the base with a little bit of dry lichen, but that was all I could see above the snow. That's when I remembered back at Anchorage, before the blizzard struck that the ground was filled with emerald grasses. I hoped for the best and dug a hole like the one I did before. To my surprise, the ground was littered with little saplings and plants. I gathered all the different types I could, just in case one would be their favorite.

The hole was waiting for me near Benjie's fire. There, mom and the pilot sat warming their hands and faces. They've been working hard trying to find dry timber for the fire, and their hands were chapped from the huge pile they collected. I dumped the little collection and dropped a few grass and flowers one by one in the finger-width hole. I knew that I couldn't possibly catch a lemming through an opening like that, so I opened it wider with the spade.

Mom watched me with a glitter of pride in her eyes. I was proud of myself too. But I would have to be extremely lucky to actually catch food. I peered into the hole for a while as I waited. I heard no sound or any sign of life to my disappointment. Benjie gave a pat on the back to show he appreciated my hard work, but I wasn't ready to give up then. I got up and looked all over the trees in hope I could find any type of food. I screamed for joy just about when I found a bush full of ripe orange berries. I tasted one, and a burst of light spread throughout my body. It was so good and amazing I gathered one for everyone and the lemmings five times over. I ran to the camp and gave them to everyone. Their eyed brightened and smiled. Mom got up to collect more firewood as I dropped the precious berries down the hole. This time, it only took about five minutes before I heard the faint sqeak of a rodent.

I called Benjie over with bright eyes and a huge smile. He rushed over to me and without talking we watched the lemming eat one berry after the other. He loved them so much that he stuffed his mouth full of them then left. I sighed feeling disappointed.

"Hey, it's a good thing you didn't try to catch it now because he's going to come back. He knows it's safe to go there since he didn't detect any danger, collect some more of those berries." I obeyed, followed my faint footsteps meandering through the thick brush. There about a hundred meters away was the bush, again glistening with the ripe orange berries. I had to take another, but I knew I would need more later, so I just collected enough for the lemming to have a small feast. When I arrived back to the camp, Benjie was listening to any more noise inside the hole. He noticed my handful of berries, and took a few to drop in the little tunnel. I crouched down to watch the rodent eat again, but I noticed something else was in the hole.

Benjie whispered ever so slightly to me, "I made a tiny snare from tree bark." He smiled and crossed his fingers. I was a little bit marveled at him for thinking that, but again reminded myself he was a hunter, unlike me. I stopped thinking to myself and focused intently to the squeaks of the little creature. More of them came! Three... four, five until a dozen were eating the food. Benjie held on to a piece of bark very carefully, if he messed this up, then the lemmings wouldn't come back, and we would be hungry with no food.

When the berries were about gone, and the animals were feeling good about themselves, like a bolt of lightning Benjie pulled the snare. It worked! I shrieked in excitement as the lemming struggled in the snare. He pulled it out of the hole, and smashed it with a rock in the head. I looked away as he did it, but I understood he had to. The rest of the rodents scurried away with fat bellies.

Even though the food wasn't much, it felt satisfying at the slightest. Lemming wasn't as bad as I thought, and I felt surprised of myself for eating something like it. I didn't even look away as Benjie skinned it. He was very proud of me, though it really wasn't I who killed it, I did dig the hole and think of putting bait down in it. Mom took the rest of our supplies from the plane wreckage, and gave everyone their sleeping furs. The pilot didn't have one, so he made a tunnel under the deep snow to sleep in, he was a tough man and had slept in blizzards before.

I made a nest under a fort of sticks, Benjie showed me how. It was sort of like an igloo shaped hollow mound for which I had to sleep in. Dirt fell on my face throughout the night, but it was worth seeing the sunset at night. The sky was red again and beautiful. I snuggled up under my shelter and slept like a dog. The cold winds woke me every so often, but that was all. I thought about Katie, how we used to be best friends until last month. It hurt thinking about it, so I fell asleep dreaming of pancakes.