In Scotland (Tayvin)

At Home

"Taylor," Adam's lips were close to my head and his hand rested on my shoulder. "Babe, we have to get up."
"Mmm," I groaned, sinking my head more into the pillow.
"We have to meet Sophie and the kids soon."
"I feel horrible," I complained. The nausea of the first trimester of pregnancy had most definitely set in.
"Do you want me to cancel our plans?" he let his arm wrap around me and let his hand rest against the barely visible bump of my stomach.
"No," I told him. "I just need a minute."
"Okay," he kissed my shoulder.
I relaxed in his arms. The nausea slowly subsided as I focused on how content I was being held by him.
After a few minutes, I took a few deep breaths and slowly got out of bed. Despite my efforts, the change in position aggravated my morning sickness and I darted to the bathroom. Adam was right behind me, holding my hair back.
"Thanks," I whispered afterward, moving to get my toothbrush.
"I can call Sophie and your family and tell them we can't make it," he offered again.
"No, Sophie and the kids flew so long to get here," I mumbled, my mouth full of toothpaste. "We should spend everyday we can with them."
"Then should we tell them about the baby?" he suggested. "Just so they know why you aren't feeling great?"
I shook my head, keeping eye contact with him through the mirror. "It's too early. We can tell them when I'm 12 weeks."
"But don't you want to tell them while they're in town?"
"Adam," I placed my hands on the edge of the sink, looking down annoyed. "I'm not ready to tell them."
My voice was harsher than I meant it to be, but I wanted to make sure he understood that I didn't want to tell anyone yet.
"Okay," he gave up, walking out of the bathroom.
"Wait," I called after him, still craving his presence.
He turned his head and I reached out for him.
He chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around me. I clung to him for too long, but he didn't seem to mind.
Finally, I let go, backing away a few inches and slipping off his shirt from my body.
"I'm going to take a shower," I told him. "Care to join me?"
I blushed for a second, wondering if he'd reject my implications, seeing as I had thrown up in front of him moments before and I had already gained a bit of pregnancy weight.
But he smirked at me and began to remove his own clothing.
"Always."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I interlaced my fingers with Adam's between our seats, concentrating on the soft vroom of the car and the palm trees on the sides of the roads.
We were on our way to meet my parents and our siblings for brunch. The ride was oddly quiet, as we hadn't bothered to turn on the radio.
"I want to tell my mom first," I announced.
He nodded, "I'm honestly surprised you haven't told her yet."
"Yeah, I just..." I bit my lip. "I haven't told anyone. I mean besides you, of course. I guess I'm still trying to process it."
We weren't exactly surprised by the news. After a little over a year of marriage, Adam and I had agreed we were ready to have kids. It took a little longer than we had anticipated, but we found out I was pregnant a little over a week ago, following an unusual night in Vegas...
I eagerly made my way over to Adam, who was backstage preparing for his set in Vegas. We hadn't seen each other in a few days because we had been busy traveling, but we made an effort to keep our marriage steady by making sure to see each other as often as possible.
"Hi, love," he noticed me and stepped away from his crew.
"Hey," I smiled at him, my cheeks flushing slightly.
He gave me a weird look, wondering why I was seeming so nervous around him. After all, we had been together for over four years and knew each other like the back of our hands.
I glanced around to make sure everyone was preoccupied, then leaned in toward Adam and whispered. "I'm ovulating."
His head snapped up to look at me. "Really? Now?"
I nodded.
"I have to be on stage in like 20 minutes," he ran his hand through his hair, leading me farther away from his crew.
"I know," I sighed. "But I haven't seen you in a few days and I don't know how much longer I'll be ovulating and-"
He pulled me into a side room and quickly locked the door. He turned back to me and grabbed my head in his hands, pulling my lips to his.
I ran my hand up his abs. "So... We're doing this?"
"We're doing this," he smiled at me, quickly attaching our lips once again.
"I can't believe our first child might be conceived in a side room of a Vegas night club," I mumbled into his lips.
He laughed, "Come on, babe, you're killing the vibe."
I giggled, working at his belt buckle. "My sincerest apologies."
"So when do you think we'll tell your parents?" Adam glanced over at me.
I bit my lip. "I don't know."
He nodded, trying his best not to pressure me into anything.
The trees and buildings surrounding us grew more familiar as we got closer to my parents' house.
"You feeling okay?" he asked, as we parked.
"A little nauseous, but I'll be fine," I placed a hand on his thigh, reassuringly.
He pecked my lips before opening his door. We walked up the pathway hand in hand.
We rang the door bell and were greeted by a frenzy of people and shrieks of excitement from now-eight-year-old Eva and her baby sister, Lily. While I normally would've immediately knelt down to play with them, I had to grab Adam's arm to steady myself from dizziness.
He gave me a look and I silently told him I was fine, moving back to greet Eva and Lily more properly. They showed me their new American Girl dolls they had gotten and Eva asked me if I would like to do crafts with them. I nodded enthusiastically and told them I would go look for supplies.
"You girls can play with Uncle Adam," I told them. "I'll be back in a minute."
"So who is this?" Adam asked Eva, pointing to one of the dolls.
"That is Julie," Eva launched into an detailed description of her history and the special outfits and and accessories she required.
Adam listened intently, lifting Lily onto his lap and kissing the side of her head, making her giggle.
My heart melted as the sight as I stood near the door watching them. I let a hand fall to my stomach as I imagined Adam's relationship with our child.
I snapped out of it quickly and pulled my hand away before anyone saw. I went to go find my mom to ask where the craft supplies were.
She was in the kitchen, talking with my dad and Austin and Sophie. She led me up to the attic to get the supplies.
Once we were out of anyone else's earshot, she turned to me with a serious look on her face. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah," I lied. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
This was the first time I'd seen her since I found out, and she knew me better than anyone. She sensed from the minute she saw me that something was up.
"I don't know... I just... Taylor, are you pregnant?" my mom blurted out.
I froze.
Her lips curved up at the edges.
I turned to face her. My response was barely louder than a whisper, but it brought tears to her eyes. "Yes."
"Oh, honey!" she wrapped me in her arms.
I hugged her back. Her reaction caused tears to pour out of my eyes for the first time since I found out the news.
She pulled away and used her thumb to wipe the tears from under my eyes.
"Are you scared?" she tucked my hair behind my ear.
"A little," I admitted, sniffling. "But I don't really know why I'm crying."
"Because this is a big deal and you're hormonal," she told me.
I nodded.
"I'm going to be a grandma," she shook her head in disbelief.
I pulled her back into a hug, needing the kind of comfort one can only get from their mom in order to stifle the anxiety and excitement that was bubbling within me.
I tucked my head into the space between her neck and shoulder, missing the time when she used to be taller than me. I held her too tightly, but she never pulled away.
"I'm so happy for you," she murmured, rubbing my back.
I pulled away and smiled at her as a thank you.
"I love you," I told her, hoping with everything in me that I could be as wonderful a mom as she was.
"You too, sweetie," she stared at me with a powerful mix of love and pride set in her eyes. "Shall we go find the crafts now?"
I nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"That is a beautiful drawing, Eva!" Sophie smiled at her daughter's artwork.
"Thank you, but it's not for you," Eva moved to block her mom's view the coloring. "It's for Auntie Taylor."
She ran up to sit with me on the couch. "See, it's you and Uncle Adam."
"Why thank you, Eva," I took the paper from her and admired it. "This is lovely."
Adam sauntered back into the room, carrying our younger niece on his side.
"Okay, she's changed," he announced, taking a seat beside me, with Lily on his lap.
She crawled over to me and grabbed at my hair.
"Tayer!" she exclaimed.
Adam wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "I taught her your name. Lily, what's my name?"
"A-yum!" she giggled, clapping her hands together.
"That's right," he smiled big for her. "Good job, Lily."
"Gu yah," she mimicked, balancing herself on my thighs with her hands on my chest.
She became engrossed in the A necklace I was wearing that Adam had given to me years ago.
I looked at him with a small smile on my lips, knowing he was thinking exactly what I was thinking. This was practice.
"So when am I going to get some nieces and nephews?" Sophie asked suddenly, as everyone was settling into the family room.
I opened my mouth to answer her, but no words came out. I looked to Adam for help.
"We're not sure," he lied, tightening his grip on my shoulder, ever so slightly.
"You're not getting any younger," Austin teased us, chuckling.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my mom trying to hide her smile.
With Eva still busy with crafts at the coffee table in front of us and Lily still entertained with my necklace, I turned back to look at Adam. I set a hand on his thigh, and silently asked him with my eyes if we could tell them the news. He raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, asking if I was sure. I nodded and he grinned.
"Actually," I took a breath, looking from Sophie to Austin to my dad. "I'm pregnant."
"What?!" Sophie jumped up and ran over to embrace Adam and me, maneuvering around the one year old in my lap.
"Oh my God, that's fantastic!" Austin looked shocked.
"Are you serious?" my dad had a half-smile on his face, as if he didn't know whether or not to believe it.
"Very serious," I turned to Adam, who was beaming at me.
"My baby brother's going to be a dad," Sophie looked as if she was on the verge of crying.
"It's still early," I told them. "Probably too early to be telling you all, but... oh well."
Adam chuckled and kissed my head.
"So I'm going to have a cousin?" Eva asked, coming up to me and leaning against my knees.
"Yeah," Adam motioned for her to come onto his lap. "You're going to be the best cousin in the whole world."
"Can we name her Julie after my new doll?" Eva's eyes lit up.
"Perhaps," Adam answered, while I vigorously shook my head no behind Eva's head. He tried not to laugh.
"And if it's a boy, we can call him Harry after the boy in the movie we watched last night!"
"No," Adam's response was instant and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
"Don't worry, Eva, we have plenty of time to discuss name possibilities," I assured her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that night, Adam and I headed back home.
I was in bed reading and he was working on some new music. Adam didn't come to bed until well past midnight.
He lied down on his stomach with his head at my waist level. He let his elbow rest between my legs, setting his hand over our future baby.
"You think she can hear me yet?" he wondered.
"She?" I raised an eyebrow.
He shrugged.
"I'm not very far along," I reached out to intertwine our fingers on his free hand. "I don't think sh... the baby has ears yet."
"I could read to her," he rubbed the small bump. "Or tell her a story. Or sing to her."
"It could be boy," I told him.
"It could," he nodded. "So what song should I sing her?"
I sighed, rolling my eyes at his over confidence in his guess.
"Oh, I know a good one," he smiled, beginning to softy sing the chorus of Safe and Sound. When he got to the end, he kissed the small bump.
It's one of those moments that's still, and forever will be, ingrained into my memory: the first lullaby Adam sang to the fetus would soon grow into Scarlett Isobel Wiles.