Cross Necklace (Camren AU)

Cross Necklace

"I'm the girlfriend and you're the boyfriend." The girl with the cross necklace told the other girl, when the two were fourteen, and she first came up with the game. "You can kiss me, on the lips, and hold my hand." She whispered into the other's ear. "But only when we play, of course." She said, before adding the most important rule, "but we can't tell anyone about this game, it's just ours."

Lauren looked at the other fourteen-year-old with big, curious eyes. Camila always had the best ideas for games, and she had the most expensive toys, and even a computer. She'd loved to come play in her house ever since the two neighbors were much younger. But the new game sounded different. She didn't know if she wanted to play. But suddenly Camila's lips met her own for a short peck, and lauren found herself agreeing to every single one of the rules, playing the game.

More rules were added over the years, and the simple game Camila invented, turned complicated.

The two turned eighteen when it finally was the last year of high school. Lauren saw Camila in the crowded halls of the school every now and then. But Camila never looked her way. It wouldn't be true to say that they lost touch, or weren't talking anymore - because the two girls never quit playing the game. then again, it wouldn't be completely wrong to say that the two neighbors weren't talking anymore, because Camila only talked to Lauren when the two were alone, and playing that same game, that hasn't changed much since they were fourteen. Outside of the game they didn't say a word to each other.

Camila got herself a real boyfriend around the time she turned seventeen. A tall boy with brown curls and a charming smile. Lauren never got herself a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend.

Lauren used to watch Camila with the boy in school. She'd never learned his name. She didn't understand the way her stomach twisted and her heart ached in her chest, watching the couple. Lauren wanted to believe that Camila was happier with her, playing their little game, than she was kissing her boyfriend. But if that was true, then Camila must've taken some acting lessons, because she always seemed happy and carefree around the curly boy. She tried not to compare, but when Camila was with her, she seemed different - always quiet, and serious, excitement laced with fear in her chocolate eyes.

It was a sunny afternoon, and two girls were sat on Camila's bed. They were kissing, and Camila hadn't let a signle word leave her mouth, and Lauren knew Camila had a bad day. They'd kiss more when it's a bad day for Camila, sometimes when it's a really bad day they'd do more than kissing, and Lauren would end up admiring the parts of Camila's body that are usually covered with clothes. Quite ironically, Camila's bad days became Lauren's favorites.

Camila's gentle hands were placed on Lauren's shoulders as they kissed, soft lips moving against Lauren's lips in the most devine way. After what felt like forever, Lauren pulled away, meeting her neighbor's eyes. She could tell something was wrong. "What's wrong?"

Camila did everything she could not to look into the girl's eyes.

"What is it?" Lauren insisted. "Did your boyfriend do something?"

"Quiet." The girl quickly replied, playing with her cross necklace. "You're here to play with me, Lauren. Not ask me questions." The two chocolate pools met Lauren's gaze, at last. "I'm tired of reminding you of the rules. No talking about real things."

Of course, what they had wasn't real.

A sigh left Camila's rosey lips. And the sigh alone was enough for Lauren to know that they were done playing. She removed her hands from Lauren's shoulders and got up from the bed. "You need to leave. My parents are going to be home soon."

And Lauren left, making the short way back to her home with her head down, feeling a lump in her throat, her chest feeling heavy and her eyes watery. No different than any other time she left Camila's house. It was such a strange, terrible, yet familiar feeling. Feeling used, not good enough, feeling angry, with love in her heart, only weighing more on her chest.