Best of me: Kinlee's legacy

Ch.1: The Diary

"Honey, did you move all of the boxes from the attic to the basement?" I asked, searching frantically through every box that I could find. I had a press conference here soon in the next two hours, and there was this fantastic pendant that my son bought me when I turned 24. It was a jaded rose, which he adored because my middle name is Jade. I couldn't find it anywhere though, because we had recently moved back to the hometown of my husband Pat. Before that, we were living on what the locals around here call 'The Island'. Its a beautiful Island out in the middle of the ocean, where many celebrities live, but many tourists go for vacation to visit.

"Honey! I seriously cant find it! I have to leave in like 30 minutes for my make up team to fix me up for the conference!!" I yelled down the hall. He was clearly to busy doing whatever else was much more important than helping me out. 

Pat is my heart and soul. Recently we just had a huge issue, which is why we are having a press conference. He got in an awful accident and then got addicted to his pain medication and alcohol. He spent alot of time in rehab, and it became hot on the press that my husband and I were divorcing. It really made me sad because I love him so much, and now I have to answer to all of my fans as to why my husband went to rehab.

"Kinlee, did you look through the boxes that were in the closet?" I heard Pat ask me as I was still digging. "No, but I will look there now!" I pushed off of the ground and took a step back, but I accidentally knocked into a box that was sitting on top of a chair. "Oops!!" I  reached over to grab it before it fell onto the ground.  The box was fairly heavy, so I peaked inside to see what was so large that made it almost collapse to the floor. Inside was a bunch of books, which I recognized right away. 

When I was a child I used to keep journals of everything. Everything. "This is cute." I said, flipping through one of them that had a pink cover, that had the words "Kinlee" neatly pressed on the top of it. "I havent actually sat and read these in years!" I put the box on the ground, and squished myself properly on the chair where the box was now missing from, and started to flip to the first page reading. And my mind took me back to the day I wrote my very first entry....

_

My house is cold. My parents aren't home. Why is everyone never here? How can an 8 year old get anything done around here with no parents to hang around? Mom and dad are always to busy to spend time with me. Dad is a manager of some delivery service, and mom doesn't really have a job. She sometimes will work for other people and clean their houses. I think that she would rather spend time at home with me, but she is never here!  It gets really lonely here at this house, seeing how I am a lonely only child.

My name is Kinlee Jade Gardner. I am 8 years old, and I am going to Roosevelt schools. My favorite thing to do is pretend like I am a TV star. Or a model. I always look at those magazines when we go to the grocery store, the ones that have the pretty super models on the covers. I want to be just like them. Pretty, skinny, and rich. We don't really have that much money right now. We live in a nice house, but my parents always fight over money and how they don't have much of it. I know that one day when I am older, I will become richer.

-

Mom finally came home, but not in a good mood. I don't know why my mother is always like this. "Can we watch a movie?" I asked her, while she put some stuff away in the cupboards. She didn't seem to like that idea, because she went on a rampage about how I am to young to watch TV shows like that. I don't really understand what the big deal is? "Mom... everyone else at school has seen this movie. Why wont you let me watch it?" I begged. I was holding a bag of cookies.

My mom glanced me a look, and snatched the bag of cookies from my hands. "Young girls should not be able to eat junk food! You don't want to grow up fat and lazy!" She said, shoving the bag up high to where I couldn't get it. "I wasn't even eating those..." I said under my breath. 

She glared down at me. "What did you say, you disrespectful child?!" She snapped. I became embarrassed. "I just said I wasn't even eating them..." I tried to avoid her glare, but it was to late. My cheek burned a sharp harsh jolt from her hand against my face. I quickly grabbed my face, and let out a cry. "Ow mother! That hurts!!" I screamed. She didn't seem amused. "Shut up, and get ready for bed or your grounded." Grounded? What is grounded. Why is my mom acting like this? "Mom..." I whined, hoping that she would seek forgiveness, but she stood her ground. "One! Two!" I didnt want to know what came after three. "Ok! I'm getting a shower..." I said, pushing myself away from the counter, and running up the steps to our bathroom.

-

In class today we were told to do a book report over what we wanted to be when we grow up. I rented a book off of Marilyn Monroe. She was a model. I loved looking at her pretty pictures. (G rated, of course). To see someone who was this iconic star inspires me to want to do that with my life. 

I took the book home, and started reading. I flipped through every page and studied her life history. She was an outcast like me with her family life. I think she was adopted? Or her mother was this bad person, who didn't take care of her daughter. Marilyn still overcame all of that, and still pursued her dreams. That will be me one day! I will be like her.... I will be a model, and people will know who I am! 

I kept reading and taking notes when my dad walked in the room. He looked like he was searching for something, so I didn't bother him. He walked over to my desk where I was coping down notes from my book, and he studied what I was doing. "Kinlee. Why are you reading this book?" he asked. I didn't really want to glance up at him. "Its a book report." I said being short. I heard him grunt, and he snatched up the book out from under me. " This woman was a whore Kinlee! You don't want to be like her when you grow up! She is a bad role model, who had guys attention as a career! You don't need to be reading this!"

"Dad! Its a book report! I have to!" My blond locks of hair whipped around as I tried to take the book away from him. "Please dad! I have to... its a school project!" He took the book and threw it into the wall. "You don't need to be reading this! I'm going to your school first thing in the morning and I am going to tell them they are showing children inappropriate things!" He then marched out of my room. I quickly ran over and picked up the book and held it against my chest. Why don't my parents see what I see? Why are they so hard on me?