Does It Really Matter?

Facebook crush

The nex 2 hours,fortunately,were not torture. In fact,the went by in a blur, Sammy simply taking my measurements and weighing me. She was scary,to be honest. She was smiling at me like a pedophile, occasionally chuckling and smiling so wide I swear she was going to split her face in two.

" Kay darl!" We need to talk!" She said, ushering me towards two plush white sofas. I sat across from her,ready to listen (ish) to whatever crap she wanted to tell me next. "Now about this whole...makeover.... It's not going to happen like... Viola, it's done,you still need to coordinate. So I've kinda set up a daily workout schedule until you get in shape!"

What? Work out? I didn't need to work out. I hope. I looked sown at my baggy sweatpants and unfashionable polo t-shirt. Well,as dose girls say, 'Im sorry I'm not perfect'. Oh,shut up. Tumblr girls are always perfect. I stared blankly at Sammy.

"So you're basically saying... I'm not fit? And I need to 'work out'?" She just nodded enthusiastically.

"I'll email it to you later,bub,you have no idea how excited I am!" For now, we need to head home before little Alice gets bored. Come on!" And we headed out of the room,back into the crisp air of the lobby. Holding Alice's hand,we went back to the car and drove home.

Well,I'm finally free from sammy's grasp,I better make the most of it. I head up to my room. Most girls,when they were young,would have wanted pink or purple walls, pretty stickers everywhere and glow in the dark stars decorating their bedroom ceilings,but I was different. Instead, I was one of those emo-don't-touch-my-food-or-I'll-poke-you girls,who covered her walls in drawings of birds and dragons,liked blue not pink and tried to be the coolest person in school. I liked the boys better because all the girls gossiped about how their daddy organised an awesome birthday party,or if they were going to someone else's house. It just wasn't fair,because my parents were never there for me,only caring about their business.I was weird. I'd always be weird. Meh haters gonna hate.

But my bedroom has changed a lot,with black and silver walls mostly covered in fandom-related posters,and boring white furniture. I plopped on my beloved bed and pulled my laptop out. Internet time. I logged onto Facebook. Big mistake,considering I forgot about the incident with Paige. My notifications were packed,mostly full of insulting comments. One read

"yeesh since when did monsters exist" ouch.

"Ikr I think I want to pukeee" well then.

"Lol. Look at her pimples. They look like volcanoes. Oh and those bags under her eyes! Wait,is that even a girl?" That was it. I slammed my laptops screen shut,raging with anger. I jumped off my bed,into my ensuite and looked at myself in the mirror, observing my features. I was flushed,my chest rising up and down with deep, Ragged breaths. I looked scary. A crease formed in between my furrowed eyebrows,my eyes a boring shade of dark brown. I splashed my face with water and cooled down. My hair was okay now, but my face just didn't look the part. My nose looked too small,my eyebrows a weird shape,my eyes taking up half my face...I looked like a possum. I needed to change this.

I abandoned my laptop and got out my phone, typing in "How to look like a tumblr girl". I clicked on one website. It was crap,really,just telling you to wear miniskirts and loads of makeup. I click on another one,full of lectures that 'whoever you are and whatever you do you're beautiful' with a picture of a shirtless guy making a love heart with his hands. Ugh tumblr boys are even worse. I exited the website,but just before I clicked on the third website,I halted in my steps. Wait. Why did I even need to look this up?why did I even care? It's not like anyone would like me straight away if I came to school with a big makeover. I'll look stupid,really,a girl who has nothing better to do or that girl who only cares what society thinks of her.

I burrowed my head in my hands. Being ugly really did matter. Then my phone beeped with a notification. It was a Facebook one,ugh. Just as I was about to turn it off,I caught the name "'Damien Holmes' also commented on your..." I had to read this. I got straight into my Facebook,scanning the notifications. I finally found his comment. Wow. It was long.

He wrote : [A/N I can't make it italic or anything coz I'm writing on my iPad,bear with me!]

"Honestly,what is with you people these days? Has social media changed everyone? Do we all need to look pretty to be human? So what,if she's 'fat and ugly'. Girls,go to the mirror,wipe off that make up and look at yourself. Guys, stop trying to impress people and stop working out or whatever you do, sit back and relax for a while. If we were all relaxed and carefree about our looks,everyone would be like this. But now? The only thing everyone wants is to impress society. This is what cause self harm,depression,etc. Whoever commented something insulting on this post, well, you're just as ugly on the inside."

I honestly want to give that guy a huge high five. No,wait,a bear hug. What stuff does he even post? I click on his user,and his page comes up. There was one picture with his friends,arms lazily slung over one another,at the beach. One was of him,in some kind of winter park. I observed his face. He looked way better up close. Blue sparkling eyes reflected the sunlight, happiness written all over his glorious face. He was smiling widely like he was laughing,a perfect shot. Strands of Jet black hair lay perfectly on his forehead. However,he had green braces on his white teeth,but they were quite cute. He looked much happier than me. I scrolled through some other pictures. One was of him and his family on a summer vacation, sitting in the sand laughing and having fun. I see he has two sisters,only about seven or so years old. His parents looked carefree and the lines on their face barely visible. I sighed dramatically. Definitely perfect.

I turned off my phone and cuddled into my warm blanket. The last thing I wanted was even worse bags under my eyes.