The Story Of My Life.

Hi..

She was walking alone, slowly, towards the entry, towards me. I didn't know what to do. "Just act natural man", my mind said. Yeah, it's easy to act normal, it's what I do everyday, be normal.
But I forgot how to move normally, how to speak normally, how to breathe normally. I started to stare at the empty blue sky, at my converse, pretending to be busy in my meditation.

I was afraid that our gazes meet, terrified of the idea that she could maybe see through my eyes straight to my heart.

She passed by me and all my cells just froze. WAW is all I managed to think of while watching the beautiful creature going to her girlfriends.
I was shocked by my invisibility, how she nearly touched me, but still ignored my existence.
I blushed. She was looking at my direction now, her red lips making a perfect curve on her angel face. She was smiling. To me. The forgotten person.
I grimaced back, losing control on my face's muscles. I wanted to go to her, but what will everyone say or think?

Besides, it's the first day at school, the day where everyone is judged by everyone without mercy! Ugh.. If only my mom was here, because this is where should be the Ministry of Injustice.
I waved back to a friend and we started talking about the most boring subject: "How was your summer". Me, I did a lot of things, but, like always, I don't say much because I know that nobody really gives a damn thing about the other. "Good" is the only word that came out of my mouth in the rest of the day.
She wasn't in my class, which was actually a good thing; I learned how to be normal again.
Even though I found all the new things to learn at school really easy, I focused all my attention on the teachers and their lessons, as a way out from the thought that was  haunting me since morning.

The day eventually came to an end. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, seeing that everyone was worried of not getting judged more than judging the others. I saw all the persons I didn't want to see, the angries, the sillies, the stupids, the hypocrites, the crazies.. Yeah, it was a LONG day.

On our way home, Ray and Christy were talking enthusiastically about their day, while I was staring out the window at the view that, from now on, I will see everyday.

The sky was still blue, with some clouds hiding the sun and making big shades on the surface. The sea was calm, silent, inviting me to drown in his water, opening the door that I feared to the room that I was afraid to enter and pushing me in.

"I don't mean anything to her!
_How do you know that? Did you even talked to her?
_Eum..nn..nno.. But there is something inside of me telling me that there is ABSOLUTLY no chance!
_I'm inside of you.. And stop making stupid arguments to hide the fact that you are a cowa.."

I shook my head intensivly to shut my mind up. After all, he doesn't know everything. My feelings are coming from my heart, not from some electrical talking psycho robot. What does he know about Love?
Love..
My heart started beating loudly as an alert. I'm..in.. Love?
Is this what love means? Being tortured by a thought? Feeling something strange, some weird energy running through your entire body?

If this IS really love, I don't want any of it. But I soon realised that I didn't have a choice, that life made me stumble and fall in this good-looking trap. Love.
Yeah, well.. Nothing will change with this discover. Even if I love her, she doesn't even know that I exist and I know that I won't have the guts to talk to her, so I better live my life as I did bef..

The ring of my cell made me seat. I was in my bed, feeling sleepless. I took my time in grabbing the phone. It was my friend asking me how was my day. I replied in a brief message "Good". I was going to put my head back on my pillow when the cell vibrated- I put it on silent. Annoyed, I turned it off, after checking quickly the notifications. I wasn't in the mood of chatting. I lied back and closed my eyes, only to  find them opened again. My mind was analyzing, my heart stopped working. It was her. The thought responsible of all my after school meditations. I took energitically my Iphone and opened my notifications.

Yes...her..

My eyes froze on two letters: Hi.