vehemence ☾ camren

three.

    Lauren fell onto her bed and let out a sigh. Why did she have to kiss her? She thought, at the time, it would have been good for Camila to know how she felt, but now she wasn't sure that was the best thing for her. Camila always got impulsive after things like that, after a lot of emotion was added into the equation that was her life, and impulsivity and Camila were not a good mix. Lauren rubbed her temples, trying to shake off the nervousness, but it wouldn't go away. Her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook.
    Camila had always done this to her, she had always known just how to act to get Lauren's attention, to make her head spin. Camila knew what to say and what to do to get Lauren to fall in love with her, and everything she did had an immediate effect. The first time Camila touched her hand, she felt sparks in her fingertips. The first time Camila kissed her, a buzzing rang in her ears and her lips tingled with passion, and Camila knew. Of course she knew, she did it on purpose. She practically picked Lauren up off of the ground to make her feel like she was flying.
    Lauren remembered Camila's first words to her: "How's the book?" When she looked up from her book, Lolita, by the way, she saw a girl staring at her. Big brown eyes and dark hair.
    "Oh, it's my favorite, I, um-" she tried to push the words out, but the girl, the whole situation, had her by the throat.
    "Emotion evoking right?" the girl smiled. Lauren nodded and grinned, happy that someone had taken the words from her brain and said them aloud. The girl took a seat in the desk in front of her and spun around to face Lauren.
    And you would not guess what she did next. This girl recited, word for word, the first paragraph of the book. "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.", all the while, looking her straight in the eyes.
    All Lauren could do was watch in amazement, how the girl's lips moved, she did this thing with her jaw where it sort of went down to the side and it completely captured Lauren's attention. Everything about her was amazing, attention grabbing. She listened to the subtle raspiness of the brown eyed girl's voice, repeating the words she had read so many times before.
    "What's your name?" the girl asked, her eyes still locked with Lauren's.
    "Lauren"
    "Lauren." she hummed. A smile appeared on her lips, "I love that name. I'm Camila."
    Still a bit taken back by the girl's seemingly effortless beauty, Lauren sat quietly, observing "Camila's" facial features.

                    The middle parts were fuzzy. Pieces of memories were scattered within Lauren's brain, but for the most part, she remembered a high. That's what Camila gave her; a high, better than any drug she'd ever tried. Her head spun every time they spoke. She was thrown into a gravity-defying atmosphere and she became a whole being, which she had never felt like before in her life. All of her emotions were held together within one vessel and they filled her completely. She remembered feeling full of happiness, almost as if she would explode into small pieces of joy.
                Between the midnight phone calls and reading to each other, she fell in love. It was Camila's charismatic way of speaking, her soft touches and gentle words that left Lauren feeling blissfully confused.
The exact day she identified this confusion as love was after they had started dating. Mid-July, and the girls had been together for about two months. It was mid-day, mid-cuddle session, actually. The girls had spent the entire Sunday tangled in sheets, music, and each other.
Camila was sleeping and Lauren rolled over to watch her, she had always liked to watch Camila sleep. Lauren's eyes took in everything that made up the smaller girl. From her soft skin, to her pink lips, to the birthmark at the top of her head. She watched as Camila's chest rose and fell in an effortless symphony of breath. Lauren decided that there was nowhere she would rather be than right there, in that moment, in her bed with her girlfriend, her best friend, her everything.
With seemingly perfect timing, Camila's eyes fluttered open in synch with the fluttering of Lauren's heart.
"Good morning, butterfly," a nickname she had given the girl because she reminded her of a free, beautiful being. Lauren hummed, smiling and trying not to blush.
Camila let out a little sigh and turned to face her girlfriend. "Afternoon," she almost whispered.
"I think I'm in love with you." Lauren blurted out. She took her bottom lip between her teeth, thinking that maybe, if she bit down hard enough, the words would sink back into her throat and Camila wouldn't hear.
She tried to read her face, but she couldn't tell what she was feeling. Embarrassment? Anger? Confusion?
Lauren attempted to ease the mood, "You don't have to say it back if you-"
"Me too." she was cut off by Camila, who immediately after her two word sentence, pulled Lauren into a kiss that sent her over the moon and back. 
Her heart fell back into place, with her hands in Camila's hair and their lips pressed together, she felt there was nothing she couldn't achieve. They were infinitely intertwined with stitches of bright bold statements "I think I'm in love with you," holding them together. They were simple beings, pressed together artistically to create an intricate masterpiece with quadruple meanings. Separate, they were Camila and Lauren, together they were love.

☾

I am so sorry to anyone who really liked this fic and was waiting for an update, writing is something I enjoy and never want it to feel like a responsibility, so I don't have a set schedule to update. I will, however try to update more often than I have been.

I am dealing with some personal things at the moment, so please try to hang on and be patient with me.

Again, your support and feedback mean so so much to me, thank you for reading.

- hailey

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